Tag Archives: work

Perpetual Sacrifice

I have just started reading an amazing book, called “The Ascent of Humanity”, by Charles Eisenstein.

Now, normally I would skim read and finish a book within a matter of hours, however this book is very thick, in-depth and makes you think. So I am taking my time to read, inwardly digest and re-read to ensure I have the right understanding of the matter.

I’m only on Chapter 2, but there was a phrase used which got me thinking.

“Perpetual sacrifice”

The idea being that we constantly live in this state of being, in a state of perpetual sacrifice. Where we effectively put off chasing our dreams, in order to survive today, or as the author puts it sacrificing the present for the future…which never comes!

You see it and hear it constantly – “work before play”, “no pain, no gain”, “control yourself”, etc.

How many of us have unfulfilled dreams that seem as far off achieving today and when we first started dreaming about them, whether it be travelling the world, writing a novel or even something as mundane like starting a new hobby?

How many of us always seem to say “too busy, too much to do, I’ll do it tomorrow!”

But in reality, does tomorrow ever come?

It generally transpires that all those hopes and dreams we cling to, that we will get round to doing tomorrow never get done and at the end of our days we will say “I wish I’d done that!”

I’m not saying we should all throw in our jobs and just go off follow our dreams, but we should make time to at least start fulfilling some of them, shouldn’t we?

All personal coaches and the such talk about a work-life balance and being able to create a good one.

However, in reality, doesn’t work always seem to win out over the ‘life’ part.

Despite all the technology at our disposal, life doesn’t seem to get easier, we work harder, longer and how many of you take androids, tablets, blackberry’s and other hand-held devices on holiday, on family outings in order to ‘stay in touch’ with the office?

And why? Is it because it is the norm, and it is expected of you? Is it a case of if you don’t then you will be seen to be not working as hard as someone who does? Who decided this?

I’ll admit, I don’t have a job working for someone else, so I don’t understand office politics and games. But, going off topic slightly, I did get addicted, for want of a better word, to checking my emails, phone message, posting on social media sites, etc. I then took SC on holiday and for that week apart from my mobile, which only calls and texts, I did not ‘check in’ once – and let me tell you it was liberating 😉

But getting back on track, sacrifice.

How do we ‘make time’ in a constantly demanding world where the work part takes an ever-increasing amount of time away from us – time we could spend with our family, our health, our leisure activities?

Should we just, maybe, say “enough is enough” and when we get home in the evening forget about work, and at the weekend turn off all ‘work-related’ devices?

Or should we just continue the path we are walking and let the future stay as far ahead as ever?

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Out of the Mouthes of Babes – Being the Boss

My parents had some work done at the house today and when we left for school this morning SC said “Mummy, will the builders be here when I get back this afternoon?”

“Not sure sweetheart,” I replied, “why? You do realise they won’t actually be building anything, they are just fixing some stuff?”

“Oh yes, but I’m the project manager so I have to make sure they are doing it right!”

I was speechless 😉

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The Psychology of Me

Psychology is all about studying how we think, feel and act.

So I thought it might be quite amusing to try to work out the psychology of me!

 

I think too much. I feel too much. I act too little.

I think with my soul. I feel with my heart. I act with my conscience.

I think kind thoughts. I feel compassion. I act with empathy.

I think of love. I feel hurt. I act like I don’t care.

I think of life. I feel time passing too quickly. I act too slowly.

I think of work. I feel stressed. I act upon my instincts.

I think of the future. I feel afraid. I act to protect myself.

I think of fun. I feel happy. I act like a child.

I think of people who have hurt me. I feel abused. I act like a victim.

I think of family. I feel blessed. I act grateful.

I think of you. I feel alive. I can act as myself.

I think of happiness. I feel blessed. I act positive.

I think of life. I feel glad. I act happy.

 

But what I think, feel and act, sometimes are at complete odds with each other – because:

I’m the girl that smiles even when I’m broken.

I’m the girl that thinks of others, even when I have no one.

I’m the girl who trusts too much in the hope that one day someone will not let me down.

I’m the girl who acts as if she hasn’t a care in the world, when actually I’m worried to the pit of my stomach about everything.

I’m the girl who looks strong, but would easily break.

But I’m the girl who picks herself up every time she falls.

 

 

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I’m one big disappointment!

Why do I feel that I am one big disappointment after another in my father’s eyes?clock

He was the one who taught me to be independent, and yet I failed.

He was the one who taught me that if you work hard you reap the rewards, and yet I failed.

He was the one who taught me to be careful, and yet I failed.

Everything I try, I do to try to please my father, and yet I fail.

Even when other people ‘lavish’ praise on my efforts, not one word of praise escapes my fathers lips.

I can’t even remember my father saying he loved me, like most fathers do to their offspring.

I’m at a crossroads in my life where I need to make big decisions about where I am headed in order to make a good life for SC.

Yet in my father’s eyes everything is black and white – I have to do either A or B.

I have ideas, but he says that they should just be sidelines – yet the problem is, and a lesson I have learned from bitter experience past is that if I go down route A and dabble with ideas, then the ideas are just another chalked-up failure. You cannot do, and give your full attention to 2 different things, especially if you have attention needed from a SC – it just doesn’t work.

Fate, apparently, throws at us what it feels we can deal with.

But you know what?

I’m tired.

I don’t want to have to fight to keep my head above the water every single hour of every single day.

I don’t want to give up, I’m not a quitter, but right now I feel I have no other option.

I want time. Time for me to prove my worth. Time for me to be a good mum (instead of the failure I feel). Time for me to be me.

But I don’t have time.

The clock never stops ticking (which is probably why I hate loud ticking clocks).

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The time has come…

…the walrus said, “to think of other things!”walrus and carpenter

Unfortunately, not of shoes and ships and ceiling wax, but weighing up my current work with reality.

Currently, on a scale of 1 to 10, job satisfaction rating is 15!!

I love what I do. I work with children from 6mths upwards – different nurseries, playgroups, etc. And to walk into ‘work’ and see children’s faces light up when I walk in and for them to be eager to share their thoughts about what they’ve been doing, or some piece of news gives me the best feeling in the world.

On the flip side though, I am currently, and have been for the last 2 years working for less than nothing, which is not an ideal situation for a single mother who needs to provide.

And nothing I do seems to increase the coffers.

So I am pretty much at that crossroads where I have to make a decision. Do I:

a) carry on as I am at present – loving the job but continually stressed about trying to find ways to earn something;

b) refine what I’m doing at present, find a different avenue, based on the same theme, but not tied to any franchise (which cuts out fees, which would increase monthly revenue and remove the stress levels (well at least abate them a little))

c) Do something else! Either go back to what I did BC (Before Child), or find something else to do…

I am the world’s worst when it comes to decision-making.

But I’ve got to do something, right?

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What would you do if you weren’t afraid?

I read an amazing book the other week. I’d heard about it years ago, Mr Wrong No. 1 read it, and I noticed it on the bookshelf in the local bookstore the other week and thought I’d buy it.where to go It’s not very long and only took me an hour to read it, but it was extremely good.

What book was it?

“Who Moved My Cheese?” by Dr Spencer Johnson.

It’s a small story and can be applied to any area of life, work, relationships, health, etc.

I won’t spoil the story, suffice to say it is peppered with good, common sense advice and makes you think about whatever it is you are worried about at the time you read the book.

One of the questions asked is “What would you do if you weren’t afraid?”

You know, that moment of stepping off the precipice into the unknown. Do you step or do you not? Does fear hold you back, or does that fear prompt you into action?

Well, when I read the book my immediate thought was with regard to my business. I have so many ideas that I want to try in order to move things forward, but fear is holding me back.

But what is my ultimate fear?

It certainly isn’t about making a fool of myself and being laughed at from trying – that pretty much happens most of the time, so that I can deal with.

Maybe it’s actually a deep-rooted fear connected with what might happen if I did manage to pull off a big coup – how would that impact SC? would I actually be able to fulfill promises? how would the ‘mother-ship’ feel that I’ve effectively gone over their heads and done something inventive off my own back? etc.

Maybe it’s not connected with that at all, but the mere thought of failure and disappointing my father.

My dad has always been there whenever I’ve needed advice on a business level – but one thing always stand out in his advice, and that is his belief that I, like him, cannot sell. And maybe it’s actually his fear that’s holding me back.

He never fails to remind me, that my weakness is sales and marketing. Even though over the last 6 months I think I’ve lost count of the number of marketing e-books I’ve downloaded and poured over. Not that I’m, by any stretch of the imagination an expert, and would never profess to be, but I think I now know enough to get over the hurdle.

So what would I do if I weren’t afraid?

I would create that website.

I would, pardon the expression, ‘sod’ the mothership and do it anyway – after all, I’m running a business, which I need to make money, not a nice little 2nd income earner. And besides, why would they be upset – probably only because they didn’t think of it first 😉

I would run into the unknown and live every single moment – good, bad, or otherwise.

2013 awaits!

May I wish you a truly peaceful, joyous and blessed new year.

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Do You Deserve Everything You Get?

Someone said to me yesterday that I deserved everything I got!

This was said with malice, I hasten to add.

And that got me thinking, do I, or anyone else come to think of it, deserve what they get in life?

And thinking further is it actually what we deserve, or merely a physical manifestation of our innermost wants, which we ourselves are oblivious of until such time as ‘we get what we deserve’?

And without getting too philosophical or psychological is it perhaps the universe giving us what it knows we can handle?

I remember watching a film, think it was “The Wedding Date”, with Debra Messing (her off Will & Grace) and the father, played by the rather swoonsome Paul Egan, said to Debra Messing’s character that women get the love life they want.

So men, or women who get treated badly, is it because they want to be treated badly, or is it because they have such low self-esteem that they think they don’t deserve to be treated well?

And that got me thinking again? (And we all know how much I think, and boy has it given me a stinker of a headache!!)

So, I tried to take the philosophy that what we get is merely a physical manifestation of our innermost wants and apply it to some areas of my life.

And here’s what I came up with:

Love

Being a true romantic at heart, with a head full of fairy-tales, I believe in there being a Prince Charming out there somewhere.

In reality though I know Prince Charming doesn’t exist. So maybe, when I thought I’d got close to that fairytale, it was with someone I knew, deep down, could and would never be mine? So I got the fairytale in my imagination, but being reality it never really existed in the first place!

Life

I obviously didn’t set out to be a single-mother, but that is the situation I find myself in. Is this merely a physical manifestation of the fact that I thrive on a challenge and find ‘normality’ tedious? I suppose that could be true – after all I was constantly on the move in my career pre-SC – not that I have any lingering wishes towards Mr Wrong No. 2, far from it. Maybe the Universe dealt me this card because it knew I had the wherewithal to cope – although some days I seriously doubt its judgement!

Work

Nothing is ever handed to anyone, and you have to work for what you want. There are no quick wins to fame or fortune, so to speak, except through hard work. That’s what makes slogging your guts out worthwhile, when you can see the results of all that hard work. Sometimes it takes a lifetime. And again, maybe deep down the reason I keep going, is because I’m not a quitter and I just want to prove everyone wrong – just once – and show that I can do it!

It’s not a perfect explanation, but at least its got the thoughts out of my head, and relieved some of the headache!

I don’t believe we deserve what we get!

I believe we all have the power to overcome anything in life, if we choose too, rather than sitting down, doing nothing and letting life pass us by.

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