Tag Archives: women

Friday Poem – Phenomenal Woman

In honour of the 2nd anniversary of her death, this week’s “Friday Poem” (and yes, I know it’s Saturday) is Phenomenal Woman by the amazing American poet Maya Angelou.

So this one is for every woman out there – and “always remember you are stronger and braver than you think” (courtesy of Winnie the Pooh – love that silly old bear!)

Phenomenal Woman

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I’m not cute or built to suit a fashion model’s size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I’m telling lies.
I say,
It’s in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I’m a woman
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It’s the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I’m a woman
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can’t touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can’t see.
I say,
It’s in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I’m a woman

Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.

Now you understand
Just why my head’s not bowed.
I don’t shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It’s in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
‘Cause I’m a woman
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.


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Is perfection ever attainable?

I only ask, because the other day I overheard a window cleaner saying to his mate that “the perfect woman doesn’t exist!”

And how many times are women heard bemoaning the fact that the perfect man isn’t out there either?

Are we all actually just striving for something that, in the end, doesn’t exist?

Who decides what makes a perfect man/woman?

We all know the sterotypes that are thrust upon us via various mediums – tall, dark, brooding and handsome men, and stick thin women, with perfect hair and skin, or blonde, blue-eyed with big …!

And as children, fairytales are all very well and good, but do women ever get the literary knight in shining armour who will fight to the death for her, and likewise do men get the beautiful perfect princess?

With the opposite sex put on extremely high pedestals for us, is it any wonder that after searching for perfection we seem to just give up, or settle and then bemoan our not-so-perfect partners’ foibles!

But would perfection be in fact perfect?

After all, if you had the stick-thin, perfect haired model could you put up with her eating nothing, except maybe the odd bit of tissue paper, and smoking like a chimney to stave off the hunger pangs, or if she did eat, hold her hair for her whilst she made herself sick out of guilt that she may have just eaten something that would put on an ounce?

Or if you had the dark, brooding handsome type, would it get a bit too boring with all that brooding and not any mental action?

And because we are all seem to be striving to find the ‘perfect’ partner, when we hit a curve in the road, or a not-so-perfect one time after time, the pedestal starts wavering and then tottering and then falls over and smashes on to the ground leaving us feeling that we are not worthy of that ‘perfect’ love because of all the hurt we have endured and that all members of the opposite sex are bar stewards/b**ches ** [** delete as appropriate]

And once we fall into the trap of believing in the stereotype, i.e., all members of the opposite sex are…, that apparently is a rut we stay in until we snap ourselves out of it. So every potential partner we meet, instead of seeing the good, our subconscious tells us that it will all end badly and therefore we get what we deserve. Our words, thoughts and feelings form our realities, as they say

I have been in this rut for so many years I have lost count – previous encounters left me feeling that I am unworthy of being loved, therefore with each new encounter I try too hard and end up constantly being treated like a doormat with no feelings. That is my failing, no one else’s. My experience has led me to fall into the belief that all men will walk all over me, and consequently that is what has happened. I need to realise that it is not true of all men, there are some good ones out there … somewhere, and that I need to treat any new encounter as just that. A new encounter – with no hang-ups about Mr Wrongs past.

Everyone is worthy of being loved for who they are, even me, and everyone deserves to be respected for who they are.

We are all individuals, each uniquely different, with amazing qualities if we care to look beneath the surface.

Maybe we need to smash the ‘perfect man/woman’ ideal and become more flexible in our perception of perfection, then we will be able to find that there is a perfect someone out there for all of us?

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Friday Poem – In the Orchard

orchardThis lovely poem is by Muriel Stuart (1885-1967), an English poet. This is her most famous piece of work, a poem made up of nothing but dialogue and no verse form.

In the Orchard

‘I thought you loved me.’

‘No, it was only fun.’

‘When we stood there, closer than all?’

‘Well, the harvest moon was shining and queer in your hair, and it turned my head.’

‘That made you?’


‘Just the moon and the light it made under the tree?’

‘Well, your mouth too.’

‘Yes, my mouth?’

‘And the quiet there that sang like the drum in the booth. You shouldn’t have danced like that.’

‘Like what?’

‘So close, with your head turned up, and the flower in your hair, a rose that smelt all warm.’

‘I loved you. I thought you knew I wouldn’t have danced like that with any but you.’

‘I didn’t know, I thought you knew it was fun.’

‘I thought it was love you meant.’

‘Well, it’s done.’

‘Yes, it’s done. I’ve seen boys stone a blackbird, and watched them drown a kitten… it clawed at the reeds, and they pushed it down into the pool while it screamed. Is that fun, too?’

‘Well, boys are like that… Your brothers…’

‘Yes, I know. But you, so lovely and strong! Not you! Not you!’

‘They don’t understand it’s cruel. It’s only a game.’

‘And are girls fun too?’

‘No, still in a way it’s the same. It’s queer and lovely to have a girl…’

‘Go on.’

‘It makes you mad for a bit to feel she’s your own, and you laugh and kiss her, and maybe you give her a ring, but it’s only in fun.’

‘But I gave you everything.’

‘Well, you shouldn’t have done it. You know what a fellow thinks when a girl does that.’

‘Yes, he talks of her over his drinks and calls her a–‘

‘Stop that now, I thought you knew.’

‘But it wasn’t with anyone else. It was only you.’

‘How did I know? I thought you wanted it too. I thought you were like the rest. Well, what’s to be done?’

‘To be done’

‘Is it all right?’



‘Yes, but why?’

‘I don’t know, I thought you were going to cry. You said you had something to tell me.’

‘Yes, I know. It wasn’t anything really… I think I’ll go.’

‘Yes, it’s late. There’s thunder about, a drop of rain fell on my hand in the dark. I’ll see you again at the dance next week. You’re sure that everything’s right?’


‘Well, I’ll be going.’

‘Kiss me…’

‘Good night.’

‘Good night.’


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You Know When You’ve …

… been tangoed! tango

You know the advert, when a rotund male dressed in a Sumo nappy and painted orange goes up to someone and slaps him round the face after he takes a taste of the orange Tango drink? Yes, that one!

Well, goodness gracious me, a strange affliction seems to have come over the female population. They’ve either been drinking far too much orange Tango, or they’ve been watching too much TOWIE and admiring WAGS?

I went out with some friends on Friday night and I seriously could not believe my eyes.

Everywhere we went, every single woman seemed to be a shade of orange from tangerine to a bright Seville!

From girls in their early twenties to women, who should have known better and were trying to dress to age down, but really they shouldn’t have bothered, talk about mutton dressed as lamb.

It was not a pretty sight … AT ALL! ANY OF IT!

What is with the overdose of fake tan? and hardly any clothes on?

Now, I’m a bona fide Essex girl, but I wouldn’t be seen dead going out looking like that.

Not even when I was 20!

Joan Collins says English women have no class and don’t know how to dress. And I know she didn’t mean all, it was one of those sweeping generalisations, but thanks to the minority, we all get tarred with the same brush! And to be honest, from what I saw on Friday evening, she seemed to be spot on!

Having class, doesn’t mean being born with a silver spoon in your mouth, but simply knowing when to stop so you don’t end up face down in a gutter.

And knowing how to dress to make the most of your attributes, but that does not mean having your melons and lady garden out on display for all and sundry to see, leaving little to the imagination.

Surely a man wants a mere hint of what’s on offer, so he’s interested enough to find out what underneath the wrapper? There is no sense whatsoever, in my opinion in letting him view the whole candy cane!

After all if you live in a sweet store the last thing you want is something you can take anytime?

No amount of orangeness will remove who you really are, so come on ladies, put the fake tan away. Be you?

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What every girl wants…

I saw this in a shop today…what i want

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Can Women Have It All?

The perfect life – good job, lovely home, happy family, no money worries – you know the one.juggling-woman

In a nutshell, no.

I don’t believe that women can have it all – believe me, I’ve tried.

It’s a big balancing act, but however hard we try something has to give.

And being a single mum makes life just that little bit more … interesting, lets say 😉

Life is all about choices.

I chose not to go back to what I did BC (Before Child) as I wanted to enjoy every single precious moment of his baby/toddler hood. It was my choice. I was lucky in that I was not reliant on having to go back to work, as I had enough ‘rainy day’ budget in the funds (in my own right, not Mr Wrong No. 2) to be able to just about afford to.

Obviously, like with all rainy day funds they dry up eventually and when that time came I searched around to find something that would fit around SC, school holidays, etc. Now I know jobs like these are as rare as hen’s teeth, so I chose to invest in a franchise.

It seemed like a good potential – something different to the norm, work my own hours around SC.

But in trying to juggle getting a business off the ground (especially in the current economy), looking after SC, and doing all the other things that I do – 3 years on I find my self reflecting that I have failed to do anything anywhere near as perfect as a superwoman should be able to manage. (Obviously then I realise that I don’t have a nanny, a PA, a cleaner, a personal shopper, etc to do all these things for me, whilst I just go off and get manicured, coiffured and spray tanned!)

SC has remained the top of my priority list and therefore I have not put as much effort into building a business as I should. Failure on the good job front!

The effort I have put into building some business has meant that SC has not had me around as much. Failure on the happy family front!

The lack of business means that I worry about just about everything pretty much 24 hours a day. Failure on the stress front!

Buying a franchise, especially those that target mothers who want to work around their children, should really have a warning notice attached saying “this is only suitable for women with a husband who only need a little bit of extra income, and not those looking to make a living out of it!”.

And I’m deadly serious about that. In the network I belong to I would stake that not one of the women working takes home anything near enough to put food on the table, pay a mortgage and bills, plus all the other things having children comes with, let alone buying clothes for themselves!

My priority is SC and the need to provide for him.

I am therefore faced with a dilemma.

I need to provide a secure future for him, the only way I can see me being able to do that is to go back to what I did do – always supposing I can get back into it. But by doing this, I will not be able to do the school run, or take him to his after-school activities, or the other mummy things that get done during the week. Failure on the being a good mummy front!

If I continue with what I am doing I will not be able to provide for him. Failure on every front imaginable!

So no, women can’t have it all.

You end up being a jack-of-all-trades but master of none!

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How Men & Women Think!

I got sent this and thought it very amusing 😉

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –


28 July 2007 Saturday

Saw him in the evening and he was acting really strangely.

I’d been shopping in the afternoon with the girls and was a bit late meeting him. I thought it might be that.
The bar was really crowded and loud, so I suggested we go somewhere quieter to talk.
He was still very subdued and distracted so I suggested we went somewhere nice to eat.
All through dinner he just didn’t seem himself – he hardly laughed and didn’t seem to be paying any attention to me or to what I was saying, I just knew that something was wrong.
He dropped me back home and I wondered if he was going to come in. He hesitated but followed.
I asked him what was wrong, but he just half shook his head and turned the television on.
After about ten minutes of silence I said that I was going upstairs to bed. I put my arms around him and told him that I loved him deeply. He just gave a sigh and a sad sort of smile.
He didn’t follow me up immediately but came up later and, to my surprise, we made love – but he still seemed distant and a bit cold.
I cried myself to sleep. I think he’s planning to leave me. Maybe he’s found someone else.

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –


Saturday 28 July

United lost.


Got a shag though!

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

Goodness! No wonder research has discovered that women use many more words, and talk more than men 😉

Although she does sound a bit needy to me!

I would have thought he’d had a bad day at the office and will tell me as and when he decides to come out of his cave, if he wants to – doesn’t mean I wouldn’t care that he was sad. I certainly wouldn’t think he was planning to leave though!

I firmly believe that a trouble shared is a trouble halved, and sometimes when we get stressed about anything, it can help to have someone to talk too. Even if they can’t help with the problem, at least you don’t feel as if you are carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders.

That’s why communication with partners is, in my opinion, vital for a healthy relationship.

We all need our own “cave time” occasionally, but if both sides knows that the other is there and will always listen with an open mind and heart should it be necessary, then silly little things will never get blown up out of all proportions.



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Stress, Stress, Go Away…


This is actually doing my noodle in…

Didn’t think I was that stressed that my periods would go all haywire again (*(^* &%£T(& )& %^$*() *^%***)

They have been behaving great – and thankfully had gone back to normal.

But this month – GGGGRRRRRRR!!

It’s not that they stopped this time.

Oh no!

I kind of got one, but it was seriously light, but it’s still being seriously light 10 days later!!

WTF is going on?

This does not help my stress levels, worrying about what is going on.

I would be even more worried if it was normal and there was spotting going on at odd times, I know that is serious.

But this is just crazy.

And for the record there are no menopause symptoms – no hot sweats, no …. well whatever other symptoms you get (I don’t know)

Oh well, hopefully one day it will sort itself out.

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Are men and women the same?

Someone once asked me if I thought men and women were the same.men-women

I said that I thought they were, fundamentally, which they didn’t, and I still stand firm in my opinion.

Despite the obvious physical differences, I still believe in a nutshell that deep-down men, like women, feel the same emotions, have the same needs and want the same things.

After all, we are essentially made from the same genetic material, so why would we differ psychologically, so to speak?

It’s just that somewhere along the lines of human development from caveman to present-day the lines have become somewhat muddled, and men have been programmed to suppress their emotions.

The advancement of feminism has also thrown a spanner in the works. Men now longer know whether or not to try to be chivalrous by opening doors, etc., as they don’t know which camp a woman is in – they will either be met with a thank you, or a torrent of feministic rhetoric about how we can open our own doors, thank you!

The key to fulfilling our emotions, wants and needs whether you are a man or a woman is communication.

Without communication we just end up making assumptions about the other person – for example, how many women reading this have thought that because a man doesn’t call that he isn’t interested in them? Maybe the man is sitting at home unsure whether to call, because he is assuming you are not interested in him?

Men are just as afraid of being rejected as women are.

It’s this reading between the lines, adding 2 and 2 together and coming up with 17 that means we tend to get everything screwed up.

Honest communication is vital in any relationship in life – be it business or pleasure – and sometimes, ladies and gentlemen, we just have to screw “The Rules” and open the door first, take a chance.

What’s the worst that can happen?

We get laughed at, rejected, etc.

But surely that’s not as bad as spending a lifetime wondering … what if?

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Strong Woman

An inspiring poem for everyone from http://dingdongitsmrwrong.wordpress.com

Strong Woman.

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