Why is it inherent in our human nature to play games?
I’m not talking about recreational sport, but games with people.
Mr Wrong No. 1 and No. 2 both were expert mind game players – whether they did it intentionally or not.
I was always made to feel wrong, stupid and generally not good enough. And because they made me feel like this, I used to go along with whatever they wanted to do, go, etc. I never had any say. They also used to pick at what I wore and how I wore my hair. Making little digs and sly comments.
Now, it could always have been that I was too subservient in that, due to previous experiences I didn’t want to do anything to rock the so-called boat, and therefore just cow-towed and agreed with them.
I have been the one, throughout my life where I have watched other women treat men like dirt and yet they themselves are still treated like princesses. Whereas if I dared to disagree or stamp my little foot I have been shown the door – no, not shown ,literally thrown out the door – before the stamping foot reached the floor!
But wherever the fault lies I, myself don’t play mind games.
I am now in a place where I know who I am and am happy and content with that.
I don’t fit moulds – I break them. I cannot change myself to someone elses ideal. If they want me, they get me – warts and all, If they want me to change me – they will be disappointed.
But what is the point of games?
I don’t get this whole “rule” thing about dating.
If you like someone, be you male or female, what is so wrong in just being open and telling them?
Why do you have to go through the pointless, and dare I say, pathetic routine game playing?
Why shouldn’t a girl text a bloke and say “fancy a drink?”
Why should a bloke string 2 girls along til he can decide which one he prefers? (I must point out that this of course applies to women stringing 2 blokes along as well)
Why should we sit around looking at our phones wishing they would call or text? Why don’t we just think “screw it” and call/text them?
Why do we hit the panic button over the “L” word? Why has society built such a small word up to such an extent that it feels like when you say it, what you are actually saying is “I’m using this as a test to see whether you will say it back!” When in reality that little word actually just means you have touched another person’s heart and soul? Does it really matter a fig who says it first? Does it matter really if the other person doesn’t say it back? We all know our own hearts, we cannot dictate another’s, so maybe the other person doesn’t say it back, it doesn’t mean they don’t, though of course it might!
Dating should be fun – not akin to playing a tactical game of chess or Strategy.
I mean clearly, that’s why I’m a disaster zone.
Surely, it should just be a case of I like you, you like me. Let’s go out and have some fun.
Starting out as friends and if you feel “chemistry” (and I use the word very loosely) – surely that’s an even better place to start.
Getting to know someone surely should be a time of excitement and joy, not feeling stressed because you feel you must play the game and follow the ‘dating rules’?
Isn’t it time society ripped up the so-called rules and made a new set?
Of course, it’s all very well for me to talk, but if truth be told I would be the last person to do that.
I would love to be able to just say “hey, no pressure, let’s go out for a drink?”
But I fear my heart has been broken too many times.