Tag Archives: the a-z of life

A-Z of Life – Bravery

What does being brave mean to you?pooh

Does it conjure up images of heroic people doing daring feats of rescue?

Or could it be something as simple as just doing something a bit out of your comfort zone?

We may not have to rescue people from burning buildings, or “go over the top” to face the enemy whilst fighting for “king and country”, but many of us face dragons and demons every single day.

And surely that makes us just as brave as when we take a chance on something (or someone) we believe in, stand up to our fears, do something that will make a difference or simply just decide that we will not be beaten.

For years I believed I was fighting so many demons I couldn’t list them all, but in the end I realised that the only reason the demons were there in the first place was because I had put them there, and the only person I was really fighting was me.

So I had to be brave. Somehow I had take that first step to reclaim my own personal power and vanquish the demons forever.

I had to start liking me.

I had to start believing in me again.

And by believing in me, I could start to believe and trust in other people again.

I don’t wish I was brave anymore. I know I am brave. I look at the world with a completely different perspective these days and it is a much sunnier, pleasant place to live.

Life can throw whatever it wants at me, and I’ll be ready to grasp each and every opportunity, or curve ball, and make the most out of them.

 

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A-Z of Life – Attitude

positive attitudeA couple of years ago I wrote a series of posts titled “The A-Z of Life”.

Well, I’ve re-read them all over the last couple of days and realised just how far I have come on my journey through life since then.  Re-reading them now, I can actually see where my head was and what a mess I was.

So, I thought I might do another series of the “A-Z of Life”, using different words for each letter, but now I am in a happier, more positive place it will be interesting to compare the 2.

So, let’s start at the very beginning, as the song goes.

A is for Attitude.

Over the last couple of years I have tried very hard to improve my attitude towards life in general.

I was in a very dark place. Aside from having SC, I felt as though my life was worthless. I felt like a complete failure as a human being – it seemed like everything I touched disintegrated around me. I couldn’t see a way out from the bottom of the very deep, dark pit I was in.

I don’t know where or when or how, but one day I realised I had to do something. Life was rushing past and I was stuck in tar not moving anywhere.

I needed to seize back the power over my life.

But it needed to be done with little steps.

After reading many, many, many books I sort of sectioned my life out. Work, health, etc.

And then tackled one section at a time.

For example, with work after freeing myself of the franchise, I sat down and wrote list after list after list about what I was good at, what I would like from a career, what I wanted to do, etc. And finally, I literally had an epiphany about what I should do, and so I decided to do it. I love my job not only from the enormous job satisfaction it gives me, but because it’s something I created.

But the main thing that happened during this time was that I went from thinking very negatively about myself and life to thinking how lucky and blessed I am.

So that one small change from negative thinking to positive thinking does work.

You may not see it immediately, but if you think positive, you begin to act more positively and start off a chain reaction so that more and more areas of your life feel more positive.

I’m not saying that there aren’t little stumbles along the way – we aren’t perfect! And it is hard.  This week, for example, I’ve been a bit less positive, because I am trying to get into a play and I’m letting my nerves and ”Charlie’ get the better of me – literally to the point of nausea. But I just need to keep thinking positive and flip my thinking.

That’s the main thing I’ve learned – a positive attitude leads to a happier and more fulfilled life.

So think positive and keep smiling 😉

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The A-Z of Life – Wisdom

What is wisdom?wisdom

How do we become wise?

When are we considered wise, at what age?

Is being clever and being wise one and the same?

 

They say, in general that wisdom comes with age.

But sometimes some very wise truths come from those of a very young age.

If we are knowledgeable about a certain subject, or if we can recall facts and figures at the drop of a hat, does that make us wise?

Or is wisdom, just about being able to see the right way to proceed in certain situations through life, and as in the Wisdom of Solomon, being able to make the right judgment?

I would not say I was wise about anything.

For sure, I can probably give good advice in certain matters, but do I apply that same good advice to my own situation? In general, I try, but fail!

In most regards, people see me as foolish, sometimes stupid and totally naïve in the ways of the world.

And, they are probably right.

I try to always see the best in other people, no matter what.

I don’t always see the best in me, and am always the first to put myself down.

But I try to always do the right thing as I walk through life – because by being true to myself I am not living a lie.

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The A-Z of Life – Variety

Question!

If variety is the spice of life, why, do we all seem to terrified of change?

When change happens, we are all guilty of being reluctant to embrace it fully in some way.

Variety may be the spice of life, but routine is safe, it’s what we know and sometimes we just don’t want to leave our comfort zone.

For me, I think that’s probably why I never put money into a house. I wanted too, and came close a couple of times. But each time, I was swayed by a couple of external factors – my dad (ever the cautious accountant) saying, that the word was house prices were going to drop in the next couple of months (just don’t buy shares, I think would be my advice to him now) and secondly, myself. If truth be told, I was always too scared to branch out on my own. I’ve already said I am one of nature’s natural born-worriers, and always there would be a barrage of what-ifs that popped into my head, and the worrier in me would outweigh the adventurous me. It always does.

I would like to think that now, with the wisdom of a few more years, I am slightly more adaptable to change, especially having had SC.

In fact, right now, I am embarking on a new voyage of discovery.

The chains which bound me in work for the past couple of years, I have just shaken off, and for the first time in a long time I feel free.

I have so much that I want to do, so many ideas, but first and foremost I have to build myself back up in order to be a hard-core bread-winning machine.

I’ve finally accepted the hand that has been dealt me now, and if I am to be on my own, then that’s the way it’s going to be.

I’ve proved to myself I can deal with my own disasters however painful they may be.

I feel afraid, for sure, but I know I can cope with anything life throws at me – I have the battle scars to prove it. I may have been defeated, more times than I have won battles, but I have not failed, for every single time I dusted myself down and stood back up again stronger and wiser than ever.

I didn’t need anyone before I had SC, I don’t need anyone now!

One of the best books I have read was “Who Moved My Cheese”, by Dr Spencer Johnson is all about the different ways we look at change, which can be applied to any aspect of our lives.

Most of us can embrace change, eventually, and it takes some of us longer than others.

There are some people though who will never be able to embrace change.

As for me, I’m off to find new cheese!

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The A-Z of Life – Unknown

“The oldest and strongest emotion of mankind is fear, and the oldest and strongest kind of fear is fear of the unknown!” (Supernatural Horror in Literature by HP Lovecraft)

“People are supposed to fear the unknown, but ignorance is bliss when knowledge is so damn frightening.”  (The Laughing Corpse, Laurell K Hamilton)

“One is never afraid of the unknown; one is afraid of the known coming to an end.”  (Jiddu Krishnamurti)

“How can you know what you’re capable of if you don’t embrace the unknown?”  (Conquistadora, Esmerelda Santiago)

“It is the unknown that excites the ardour of scholars, who, in the known alone, would shrivel up with boredom.” (Wallace Stevens)

“Even just seconds ahead is unknown; even just seconds after is open to infinite possibilities.”  (Mehmet Murat Ildan)

 

Every day we wake up to an unknown future.

Sure we know we are going to read the newspaper, go to work, relax with a hobby, but what about the unknown element to life.

We don’t know who we are going to meet who might change our future in some way.

We don’t know what is going to happen that might affect our future in some way.

And sometimes the unknown doesn’t have to be a big global disaster, it can be a simple gesture from a stranger, or a letter that can have the biggest impact on your life.

Do we fear the unknown?

Or do we embrace it?

Patrick Overton in his collection of poems entitled “The Leaning Tree” he wrote “When you walk to the edge of all the light you have and take that first step into the darkness of the unknown, you must believe that one of two things will happen. There will be something solid for you to stand upon or you will be taught to fly.”

Sometimes taking that first step into an unknown future is the scariest thing to do and it is the biggest leap of faith you will ever take.

Things happen in our lives for a reason – be they good or bad.

Destiny, karma, call it what you like.

But we all have to trust that by journeying on into the unknown we are following our personal, and pre-destined passage through life.

We all know where our ultimate destination lies!

Everyone’s destination is the same, but how we get there varies enormously.

But what about ‘unknowns’ of the past?

Things that happen and you just don’t know the real reason behind it.

Sometimes it really is a case of ignorance is bliss, because in some cases knowing the truth could be more painful than just filing it under “unknown”

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The A-Z of Life – Temper

Temper, temper!!!

Oh, let’s face it. We’ve all got one. We wouldn’t be human if we didn’t lose our rag every now and again. Anyone who says they never do, thou liest methinks!

We all have varying degrees of temper, that’s true. But we’re individuals, we are unique, even our tempers.

I have a temper.

Mine’s a bit like a firework.

Long fuse, big explosion, then it’s all over.

I have lost my rag and done some things I am not proud of, when I was younger – pouring a pint over a boy who was taunting me, slapping several girls who were physically assaulting me, and accusing me of things I had not done.

Now, it could just have been my youthful age and inexperience in life. But it had got to the stage where I just snapped. I should not have risen to the bait, because that made me every bit as bad as them.

I have, over the years, learned to tame the temper. That could just be something to do with age as well.

It takes a lot to make me explode now. But I just shout a lot now, say my piece, walk out the door (OK I might slam it 😉 ) and then I’m fine. Over and done with. Let’s move on!

No mulling over things, no bringing up the same subject again, and again, every time I have an argument. That’s a waste of time.

If you say your piece, you’ve said it. You’ve got it off your chest. No sense using stuff as weapons in the future, is there?

 

 

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The A-Z of Life – Soul Mates

Do you believe in soul mates?souls

Do you believe that we all have a perfect match somewhere in the world?

It’s like finding the ying to your yang, the salt to your pepper, etc.

I do.

I believe that we all have that perfect match.

Someone with whom, if we are lucky enough to find them amongst the however many billion people live on this planet, we instantly know it is right.

The Greek philosopher Plato famously wrote about soul mates in his Symposium:

“According to Greek Mythology, humans were originally created with four arms, four legs and a head with two faces. Fearing their power, Zeus split them into two separate beings, condemning them to spend their lives in search of their other halves.”

Sometimes we search for several lifetimes to find our other halves.

And when we meet them, I would imagine that one would be struck by a feeling, difficult to describe, but even though you hardly know each other, you feel some underlying connection, be it mental, or otherwise, and a sense of belonging and desire.

Another filling to add to the sandwich that is soul mates, is that they are, essentially, a reflection of you. Your mirror image, so to speak. Someone that reflects both good and bad of ourselves.

By reminding us that we are by no means perfect, in their opposing nature, but highlighting the differences so to speak our ‘soul mate’ gives us the opportunity to grow.

Just like ying and yang, I believe soul mates are opposites who attract, come together and complete each other by making one whole from two halves!

 

 

 

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