Tag Archives: success

A-Z of Life – Motivation

This is a re-blog of one of my A-Z of Life posts – maybe I’ll reblog some more 😉

The encouragement to keep going.fear

The drive to win.

The imagination to dream.

The determination to succeed.

The desire to change.

The wish to fulfil your dreams.

The hunger for knowledge.

The kick up the backside.

The incentive to start.

Whatever, our wishes, dreams, desires or plans we all need a spark of motivation to set off that chain of reactions.

Be it to earn more money, move house, try a new hobby, write that best-selling novel, etc., we all need to find that get up and go to get off our backsides and just do it (to coin a phrase – thanks Nike).

Take me, for example.

I have a folder that I started when I was 17, full of ideas I had for businesses and things I wanted to do.

20-odd years later, it’s still there, untouched, and some small part of me wishes I shouldn’t have left it so long.

Some ideas have been done, successfully by other people, and I think, “that could have been me!” But I was scared of trying.

Self-motivation is very difficult, especially when you let all the monsters of your past still silently dictate and belittle you. You pause before starting and still hear their voices saying that you aren’t good enough, you aren’t clever, you won’t amount to much, you’re a failure, you’re a loser, etc.

I have done that, and it’s very difficult to try to fight these demons alone, because over the years all the taunts, jibes and digs taught me to hate myself, and believe that all the things they threw at me were true.

At the end of the day you are the only person who can change your life and follow your dreams. It’s like dieting – you know you need to lose weight and keep fit, but unless you actually do something about it nothing will change.

It’s taken me a long time to exorcise the demons of long ago and I keep a very positive frame of mind these days. I am happy with where I am and have the desire to improve myself and dreams to fulfill. But there are occasional days when I still panic and think I can’t, and that’s another day lost because of actions of ghosts that haunt me from time gone by.

When you are on your own though, you are the only person who can kick yourself into motion, and you have to keep yourself going to the bitter end, be it failure or success.

And however hard you try to stay positive and rev up that get up and go, sometimes you wish you could have someone else to give you a gentle nudge and whisper “It’s OK, I’m here. Don’t worry – you’ll knock ’em dead!”

So, for anyone who may need a bit of a gentle nudge in the motivation department today, here you go:-

YOU ARE AMAZING! YOU CAN DO ANYTHING YOU SET YOUR MIND TO!

NOW GO GET ‘EM 😉

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2013 – A Year of Change

Apparently 2013 is a big year – the numbers when added up together make 6, which signifies change.

According to the lady who did my tarot cards a few months back, at any rate!

Whether you are a believer or sceptic of all things tarot/psychic/etc, I still believe things happen for a reason, whether you have a little tip-off or not!

She said that the next 8-10 weeks for me would be fairly traumatic.

Boy! She could not have got that more right if she had been sitting on my shoulder.

In a nutshell, let’s do a run down of my life in the last 12 weeks:

Thought I’d found ‘him’, but I hadn’t;

Didn’t know I was, until I wasn’t;

Didn’t like what I was doing, so I don’t any more.

It has been, to say the least, one hell of a ride!

And, to be brutally honest, not one that I would volunteer to go on again.

But I have emerged.

Battle-worn, scarred, but still very much alive and breathing.

I thought a couple of years ago I had reached rock bottom, but seems there was still a little way left for me to fall.

I am at the very bottom.

But I am still smiling and I am very much blessed in many ways.

I have SC.

I have my health.

I have my pride and self-respect.

I have a brain that still works.

I have the passion and drive to succeed.

I have so much to be thankful for.

I am free.

And, do you know what, since it is  a year for change, I don’t think I’m going to start climbing back up that mountain!

I’m going to build me a whole new one 😉

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The A-Z of Life – Happiness

We all want to be happy.

Sometimes we just let life get to us, and end up wishing for happiness, wishing our lives were different, wishing our lives were like other people who seem to be so happy.

Happiness takes on many forms – we would be happier if we earned more money, we would be happier if we had what other people had, we would be happier if we could be more successful, etc.

But happiness doesn’t come from outside influences.

Happiness comes from inside.

We are ultimately responsible for our own happiness.

If we cannot be happy with ourselves, then we will never be happy. And it won’t matter how many friends you have, how much money you make, etc.

So how do we become happy?

There seems to be no miracle cure – believe me, I’ve looked, and if there were I’d bottle it and make a fortune 😉

We just have to look at our lives and look for the good not the disappointments, look forward not back.

If we can cling onto one good thought, one time in our lives when we were happy, that surely is a step on to the ladder?

Then if we can be thankful for one thing in our lives each day, slowly we should be able to see a glimmer of light.

I have been at the bottom of the ladder.

I haven’t made it to the top yet, and some days I slip down a few rungs.

But I am happy with who I am – I am by no means perfect, but I am aware of my faults and can live with them 😉

I am happy with my life – it may not be picture perfect like everyone elses appears to be, but I am happy to be alive, with a head full of ideas 😉

I am happy with my state of mind – I try to find the good in everything and everyone 😉

I’m happy to be me 😉

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The A-Z of Life – Fear

“The only thing we have to fear is fear itself – nameless. unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyses needed efforts to convert retreat into advance” famously said President Roosevelt in 1933.

I’m not just talking about fear of spiders, snakes, other creepy-crawlies or nay other weird phobias out there.

I’m just talking about fear.

And it is true!

We do fear fear.

What stops us in our tracks? What prevents us from shooting for the moon,? Why do we shy away from life?

Because we are afraid.

But what is it exactly that we fear?

Do we fear the failure or do we fear the success?

If we can answer that then we can perhaps overcome our fear of fear,

We all fail at some things at some point in our lives. Some more than others.

However, what from that failure do we learn?

We learn to do things differently.

We learn that we cannot win at everything, and that in all walks of life there will be people better than us – no matter how much we, or those we love sometimes, bolster and boost our egos to an over-inflated size. (You’ve seen X-Factor, right?)

We learn to persevere.

Most importantly, sometimes we learn never to give up trying.

Why would we fear the success though? Of anything in our lives.

Surely, succeeding is what we are all aiming for, so it shouldn’t be feared?

But are we afraid that if we succeed, we will have nothing left to aim for?

Are we afraid that success might lead to happiness, and we fear the happiness maybe short-lived?

Are we afraid that we don’t deserve success?

Are we afraid that we wouldn’t be able to cope with success?

We shouldn’t be afraid of life, and surely if we fear fear, we are letting ourselves ultimately be afraid of life.

I’m afraid. I fear being alone. I fear being old. I fear being a failure.

But if we think positively, we can overcome fear.

I will never really be alone, because  I am blessed to have family and friends.

I cannot stop the march of time, but I can embrace the wisdom age brings.

I fear being a failure, but that doesn’t stop me trying.

Surely the worst thing to do is to let fear, for want of a better expression, get the better of you? For what will that bring or achieve?

After all, a life half-lived is half a life, and the worse thing anyone can do is live their lives in fear.

 

I found a wonderful poem by Suraj Samtani called “Losing Life to Fear”

In fear of being heard,
In fear of being understood,

In fear of not being heard,
In fear of not being understood,

In fear of being misheard,
In fear of being misunderstood,

In fear of hearing too much,
In fear of understanding too much,

In fear of saying too much,
In fear of saying too little,

In fear of being too enlightened,
In fear of not being factually correct,

In fear of being too bright,
In fear of being too ignorant,

In fear of being praised,
In fear of being bullied,

In fear of not being like others,
In fear of losing my individuality,

In fear of being ostracized,
In fear of being camouflaged,

In fear of being the attraction,
In fear of being ignored,

In fear of being too different,
In fear of being too common,

In fear of following others,
In fear of disobeying others,

In fear of being too gullible,
In fear of being too stubborn,

In fear of being used,
In fear of being misused,

In fear of rewards,
In fear of punishments,

In fear of responsibility,
In fear of expectations,

In fear of being trusted,
In fear of being mistrusted,

In fear of your lack of response,
In fear of your over-reaction,

In fear of eternal silence,
In fear of noisy communication,

In fear of your acceptance,
In fear of your rejection,

In fear of exciting you,
In fear of upsetting you,

In fear of loving you,
In fear of hating you,

In fear of your love,
In fear of your hatred,

In fear of being loved,
In fear of being hated,

In fear of thinking,
In fear of existing,

In fear of living,
In fear of dying,

In fear of being myself,
In fear of being another,

In fear of knowing myself,
In fear of neglecting myself,

I lost my voice;
I lost my identity;
I lost my self.

I lost this life;
I lost my life;
I lost life’s life.

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What are you searching for?

We’re all searching for something – success, wealth, love, fame, happiness, etc.

Some people spend their whole lives searching, but never find what it is they think they truly desire.

But do we all search for the same things?

Or, indeed can we change what we are searching for at different points in our lives?

Or is everything we search for just leading us to the same conclusion.

If we search for success, what is it we want from success?

Is it wealth, recognition, or something else?

If we search for knowledge, what is it we hope to gain by finding knowledge?

Is it success? If so, then this brings us to the same point above.

Is it that ultimately we are searching for happiness – in whatever form we, as individuals, see that happiness.

For some happiness comes in the form of huge bundles of dollar bills. For others it is knowing that other people recognise their talents. And some find happiness in learning.

For all of us, I believe, we search for love, because deep down, we believe that love will make us happy.

But do we need to go searching for happiness? Surely true happiness comes from being at one with ourselves? Comfortable in our own skins, so to speak.

If we are happy in our own minds, then we do not need to go out seeking happiness. What we find when we search for success, love, knowledge, etc, is surely just an extra cherry on top of our already happy, contented lives?

So what are you searching for?

 

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I’ve Done It!

I am a recovering ‘biscuit-a-holic’.Biscuits

It’s been a whole year since my last biscuit.

They were my bete noir, my one temptation, my big bulimic tendency – whenever I felt a bit down, I would reach out for the biscuits and would quite happily munch through near-on a whole packet with a cup of tea.

But no more.

I gave them up for Lent in 2011 and found that pretty easy. So last December – after having one too many – I decided to give them up completely.

Again the stopping was very easy, and then from not having eaten them, my sense of smell underwent a drastic detox.

No longer when I opened the biscuit tin (SC is partial to a Malted Milk) did I smell delicious biscuit smells.

Oh no!

All I could smell when I opened the biscuit tin was the processed fats and sugars.

It took 10 days for the nice smell to go, and gradually over the course of a month the sense of the vile processed smell increased.

And now, a year on, the vile processed smell is still there. It is quite repulsive, and makes me glad I don’t indulge any more.

I can honestly say, that I do not feel the need to have a biscuit and even when I have made them at home with SC I do not feel the urge to eat one.

Biscuit addiction – cured 😉

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Letter to SC

To my darling boy

I never knew how much you could love someone until I had you.

I loved you from the moment I found out I was expecting you.

People might think I’m crazy but I talked to you all the time about how much fun we would have and how much I loved you and was looking forward to holding you in my arms.

The first thing I remember after you were born was holding you in my arms thinking how tiny you were and how clumsy I felt. You were so precious and fragile and new, my hands just felt too big and awkward.

But most of all I felt so much love for you, and thanked the angels for sending me the most beautiful gift.

You have grown into an amazing little boy – I am so proud of you.

I’m sorry that you will be an only child. I didn’t want that for you, it’s just the way life has panned out.

And that’s the first lesson I can teach you. That life, sometimes isn’t fair and we don’t always get what we want or think we deserve. You just have to learn to deal with it.

You can either whinge, moan and mope about it, in which case you’ll always be looking back.

Or you can accept the disappointment. It will hurt for a while, but by accepting it you can move on and carry on living and look forward to more wonderful things that await you.

And that’s the second thing I can teach you – never look back, especially with regret or anger. If you do then you are preventing yourself from growing as a person. Sometimes bad things happen in our lives and we can choose to continue to let past hurts affect the present or learn to forgive and leave the past where it belongs as it has no place in the present.

We cannot change the past, we can only learn from mistakes made by ourselves or forgive the actions of others to free ourselves from their chains in order to become happier within ourselves.

Part of the job description of being a parent is guiding you through the path to adulthood by teaching you right from wrong and giving you a good set of morals by which to live. It’s a tricky path and there will be lots of trials and tribulations, but always remember I am there for you. You can tell me anything that’s worrying you and I won’t ever judge. If you stop talking to me, then I can’t help. We are walking the path together and all you have to do is hold my hand and I will help you through.

We’re a team – it’s you and me kiddo.

The third thing I can teach you is to always be yourself. There’s no point in copying the behaviour or actions of others, it does you no favours in the long run. Don’t follow the herd. Always be your own person, know your own mind and be strong. We are all unique individuals with our own special character, talents and faults. We need to be aware of our own talents and faults in equal measure as no one is perfect. If you can acknowledge your own faults, you can help minimise them.

Let people see the real you, and not what you think they want to see. Your true friends will take you for who you are, warts and all, and be there in your time of need. Those who do not, cannot really be said to be friends at all.

The fourth thing I can teach you is to always strive to do your best. Ambition, determination and a will to succeed are not bad assets to have. Nothing in life is ever handed to you on a plate or for free. The only way you can get what you want is by working your hardest for it.

Sometimes ambition, determination and a will to succeed are still not enough. You can give it your all and you might still not get anywhere. This is not a failure though. It is only a failure if you don’t acknowledge that a project has reached its natural conclusion. If you can accept this, then again we learn lessons and we don’t make the same mistakes again.

I will support and encourage you in whatever you want to do. I’m not the type of parent who is going to force my interests on you and make you do something you don’t want to do. We have to find our own things that we enjoy – hobby and work wise. So, if you want to be an astronaut and explore the farthest corner of the galaxy, then you go out there and make it happen 😉

We all have dreams. Dreams are what keep us going in our darkest hours. But sometimes dreams are just that, dreams. I’m not saying you should let go of them, just realise that some dreams won’t come true, however hard you wish 😉 And that’s probably one of the hardest things to learn, but even though a dream won’t come true doesn’t mean you should stop imagining.

And that’s the fifth thing I can teach you. Never let go of your imagination. Without imagination we are nothing. As children we have the most amazing ability to imagine wonderful things and as we grow older convention somehow stifles this creativity. Sometimes though a little imagination goes a long way to solving problems.

The last thing I can teach you is to try to show compassion and kindness to all. It won’t solve all the worlds problems, but by showing empathy it shows you care. Always remember to do as you would be done by.

I love you so much my darling boy, and am trying to be the best mummy I can for you. I’m learning too 😉

xxxx

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