I casually mentioned to SC earlier in the week that I had to go and sit in church for an hour.
He asked why?
And I said that it was just in case anyone came in to the church and wanted information.
He then said, “You must take your mobile mummy, just in case robbers come in, and then you can phone the police. You know what robbers look like, don’t you?”
Quizzical look from yours truly…
“Well,” he continued, “they wear jumpers – ”
“- with stripes?” I interjected.
“Yes, and they wear black t-shirts with very long sleeves. So just remember if anyone comes into church like that, then they are a robber!”
How very stereotypical 😉
So I did the 30 criteria that make up what just 2,000 women want in a perfect man, so it’s only fair to see what you guys want out of a perfect woman.
Well, from the surfing on the web I’ve done, looks like I’ve found the reason I haven’t found Prince Charming!
So, from what I’ve gleaned, here is what men say the top 19 criteria for Little Miss Perfect are:
- Blue eyes – how lame!
- Long blonde hair – see above – seriously, anyone can have blonde hair, it comes out of a bottle and manages to somehow, stereotypically lower your grade point average tenfold!
- Occasionally wears glasses – no mention of contacts, so girls convert.
- Five feet eight inches tall – apparently the average woman’s height in the UK is about 5ft 4″, and most men I know prefer dolls to us amazons. I’m over 5ft 8″ anyway, by an inch, and according to men an inch is a huge difference!
- Weighs around 9½ stone (that is 133lbs or approx 60Kg) – hate to break it to you boys, but all these film stars do not weigh 9½ stone, take off 2 stone and you’re nearer the higher end ball park figure. If you want 9½ stone don’t complain about muffin tops, bingo wings, or big bottoms
- A size 12 – which shop size would that be? You could be a 14 in one shop but a 12 in another. It confuses the hell out of us girls, but pick a shop and then at least we have a constant. Make it M&S they are very generous in their sizes.
- Good in bed – had to be in there really didn’t it!
- Earns less than £25,000 a year – no wonder intelligence didn’t make the top 20! So basically from what I’m reading men basically just want a blonde-haired blue-eyed bimbo – at this rate I’m surprised big chest didn’t feature on the list!
- Extremely fit – You can’t have it all, you either want 9½ stone, size 12 woman, or you want super-skinny, health freak, which is it?
- Very good-looking – Surprised this didn’t come higher up the list. I’m guessing we’re talking supermodel looks – you do know about airbrushing don’t you? No one looks that good, ever, unless they have personal hair and make-up stylists on hand, and a really good photographer who knows how to adapt photos, shall we say
- Wacky personality – are we talking wacky like Su Pollard or do you just mean ditzy? There is a big difference 😉
- Rents a house or flat!
- Optimistic – we all try to be optimistic – but do you mean an inner glow or just permanently wearing rose-coloured spectacles?
- Owns a Ford Ka or Mazda MX5 – now I get the MX5 link – low car, have to go in posterior first, therefore not a good move in a mini-skirt, but at least you get a good view! (Have been in a Lotus Elise, so I know the trials and tribulations of manoeuvering in and out of cars!) but a Ka? Seriously?
- Nurse or PR Executive – nurse = uniform, say no more. PR executive, are we going for Bubbles in Ab Fab here?
- No children – always handy not to have baggage (I’m out on this basis alone, irrespective of the others!)
- Drinks occasionally – every day, or just once a week to be sociable? From what I’ve seen of women’s behaviour on the streets of the UK I’d say some have serious drink problems. Seriously, please tell me what the fun is in going out and spending an absolute fortune to get yourself into such a paralytic state that you can neither remember the night (quite handy so you don’t remember throwing up on the street before passing out in a gutter with your legs all akimbo leaving very little to the imagination)? Why don’t you just flush all the money down the toilet, since that’s where it ends up! I’m out on this one too as I don’t drink!
- Loves clubbing – how old is Miss Perfect supposed to be then, 12? Clubbing – was fun, but it had its place. You can never hear a word someone says to you and the music is dire!
- Non-smoker – ladies, whatever the magazines show, walking along puffing on a fag as if your last breath depended on it, is really not at all, in any way, shape or form sexy!
So, there you have it. Women really do want tall, dark and handsome and men want blonde, beautiful and vacuous 😉