Rather I’m going to witter on about the other definition of the word.
Faith – complete trust or confidence in someone or something.
Previously in the life of this Wonderful Geekette I was too sceptical (what do they want from me?), too judgmental (who do they think they are?), too critical (how dare you?) and too untrusting (I don’t believe you!).
Based purely on life experiences that had led me to believe, rightly or wrongly, that other people were always going to hurt, misuse and abuse me – for want of a better expression – in one way or another if I let them get close.
And, as for me I never even had faith in me, either my own abilities or opinions.
So I just hid away behind my brick wall of safety that I built up around me, letting life pass me by. Afraid of everything and everyone, because each time I did poke my nose above the parapet to take a sniff at the outside world something and/or someone would have me diving back for cover and building yet another layer on the wall.
But then, a couple of years ago (as I’ve said many times), I knew I had to get my act together.
To quote Anne of Green Gables “you’ve shut out life … and now life is shutting you out.” And I was, by hiding away I was shutting out life and doing nothing but existing.
One of the many self-help books I read basically repeated the time old saying that our thoughts become reality and we become what we think.
And I didn’t want to end up that sad, mad (well, no crazier than normal), bitter and twisted old biddy with no kind word to say about anything or anyone – believe me, I think I was on that road.
More importantly, I didn’t want my lack of faith in humanity rubbing off on SC.
So, like everything else I have done over the last couple of years to get from where I was to my present state I have had to start trusting and believing in life and people.
I have learned that life will have ups and downs, but the downs will only make you down if you let them.
I have learned to take the downs as lessons that I can learn from and grow and have faith that there is something better for me down the road.
I have learned to trust other people, although I’m still a little unsure and it takes me a while to fully open up. And by putting my trust in them I know that sometimes I may be proved wrong, but if that happens then I can’t change anything, so as they say I “don’t even worry about it!”
I have learned that not everyone will understand me and not everyone will like me. I get that now, so I’ve given up trying to please everyone, the only person I try to please is me.
I have learned to have faith, that the world is not so scary and that life is an adventure to be lived.