Tag Archives: self-belief

A-Z of Life – Honesty

self-honesty-freedomLet’s be honest – it’s always easier to blame other people/other circumstances for our misfortunes in life, isn’t it?

But where does that get us?

Nowhere, that’s where.

Or continually walking down a path always looking for something or someone to blame and never once looking closer to home.

But maybe we should.

Every day we always have a choice.

And those choices determine what happens in our lives. Some of it will be good and some of it will be not so good.

But, and here’s the crux of the matter, if the choice you made turns out to be not so good, then instead of looking for someone or something to blame we need to look at our actions. After all, weren’t we the one who made that particular choice?

We’ve all done it. It’s human nature. If something goes wrong it’s easier to blame circumstances or fate or luck, isn’t it?

I’ve spent a good part of my life blaming others for my ‘lot in life’ – unlucky, ugly, useless, worthless, etc. You name it, the list is pretty long.

But, over the last couple years, having been on this voyage of self-discovery I realised the ‘others’ involved may have caused an initial blip in my life (for want of a better expression), but I was then ultimately responsible for how I felt. After all, I was the one that chose to let their actions affect my life, I chose to believe I was worthless, I chose to believe that I deserved everything that was thrown at me, I chose to believe that I should be treated without respect.

“Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it!”

I looked closely at my own actions and worked hard to improve and better myself in all areas of life and these days I wake up and choose to be positive.

Because I believe in myself now.

For sure, I may still get a few wobbles and panics occasionally but I stop, tell myself to stop being so silly and as a certain song goes, always look on the bright side.

I am alive.

I am allowed to have dreams.

I deserve to be here.

I deserve to have a life.

I am worthy of life.

I am worthy of respect.

I value and know my worth.

I choose life.

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Friday Poem – Dare to Dream

dare to dreamSearching for a suitable poem for today, I literally stumbled across this poem by a poet called Paul Adolphus. That is pretty much all I know about him – his name.

He was written some beautiful poems and this one stood out for me – we should all dare to dream.  Without dreams and hopes what we?

Dare to Dream

Set your goals way up high
Shoot for the stars
Aim for the sky
Great things you can achieve
When you try
Never lose hope
Never let your dreams die

When others try to bring you down
Wear a smile and never a frown
Perseverance will win you your crown
Respect will get you around

Never succumb to the sting of defeat
When you stumble and fall
Get back on your fee
In the face of adversity never retreat
Keep your goals in sight
Till your mission is complete

Believe in yourself and the rest
will fall into place;
No need to rush
You’re not in a race
Do one thing at a time
At your own pace
Your destiny awaits you
Victory is yours to embrace

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A-Z of Life – Faith

faithDon’t worry, I’m not going to write about religion … that kind of faith.

Rather I’m going to witter on about the other definition of the word.

Faith – complete trust or confidence in someone or something.

Previously in the life of this Wonderful Geekette I was too sceptical (what do they want from me?), too judgmental (who do they think they are?), too critical (how dare you?) and too untrusting (I don’t believe you!).

Based purely on life experiences that had led me to believe, rightly or wrongly, that other people were always going to hurt, misuse and abuse me – for want of a better expression – in one way or another if I let them get close.

And, as for me I never even had faith in me, either my own abilities or opinions.

So I just hid away behind my brick wall of safety that I built up around me, letting life pass me by. Afraid of everything and everyone, because each time I did poke my nose above the parapet to take a sniff at the outside world something and/or someone would have me diving back for cover and building yet another layer on the wall.

But then, a couple of years ago (as I’ve said many times), I knew I had to get my act together.

To quote Anne of Green Gables “you’ve shut out life … and now life is shutting you out.” And I was, by hiding away I was shutting out life and doing nothing but existing.

One of the many self-help books I read basically repeated the time old saying that our thoughts become reality and we become what we think.

And I didn’t want to end up that sad, mad (well, no crazier than normal), bitter and twisted old biddy with no kind word to say about anything or anyone – believe me, I think I was on that road.

More importantly, I didn’t want my lack of faith in humanity rubbing off on SC.

So, like everything else I have done over the last couple of years to get from where I was to my present state I have had to start trusting and believing in life and people.

I have learned that life will have ups and downs, but the downs will only make you down if you let them.

I have learned to take the downs as lessons that I can learn from and grow and have faith that there is something better for me down the road.

I have learned to trust other people, although I’m still a little unsure and it takes me a while to fully open up. And by putting my trust in them I know that sometimes I may be proved wrong, but if that happens then I can’t change anything, so as they say I “don’t even worry about it!”

I have learned that not everyone will understand me and not everyone will like me. I get that now, so I’ve given up trying to please everyone, the only person I try to please is me.

I have learned to have faith, that the world is not so scary and that life is an adventure to be lived.

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Learning to be happy alone …

… is the hardest lesson to learn!

There’s truth in the old saying “if you’re not happy with yourself then you won’t be happy with anyone else”, because if you can’t be happy on your own, what makes you think you’ll be happy with someone?

Sometimes the loneliest place on earth is being in a dead-end relationship – you try to convince yourself, and all around, that everything’s rosy, and you do nothing because you hope it will come right in the end. All the while though you are desperately treading water in a vain attempt to keep afloat, but instead find yourself sinking further and further into yourself, whilst the relationship saps away every last bit of your self-worth, self-belief and life energy.

I know! I’ve been in 2 like it.

Each time it takes longer to grasp back some semblance of self-worth, or sparkle as some people call it.

But does being happy with yourself and by yourself mean that you’ll end up lonely, or indeed as some people say ‘on the shelf’ for eternity?

I would say not. Ever the optimist and looking on the bright side, if you are happy with yourself and by yourself then that surely only enhances a relationship with someone else. Because you’re not needy.

I read once, and believe it’s true, that if you are feeling negative you attract people who have the same type of feelings. For example, as you know when I started going out with father of SC (Mr Wrong No. 2) I had not long been out of the relationship with Mr Wrong No. 1. I was not in a good place emotionally and to be honest neither was he as he was still reeling from his marriage breaking down. So 2 people feeling down, unloved, etc, were attracted to each other when in normal circumstances, i.e., no lack of sparkle on either side, the spark would not even try to ignite! (Believe me!)

Although, I’m on my own, I am in a very happy, secure place in my life. I’m actually happiest on my own, with my own thoughts (although we all know I think way too much, and that does me no good whatsoever), going about my life. Sure I get down, moan, confused, etc., but then who doesn’t when they’ve had bad days, and that’s why I blog to release all my feelings, as I don’t have anyone to talk to.

But the main thing is that I don’t need to have a man in my life in order to be happy. For sure, I would like to be in a normal, happy, loving relationship but I don’t need to be in order to feel fulfilled.

And therein lies the difference. Want is not the same as need!

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