Tag Archives: Roald Dahl

FILM REVIEW: The BFG

bfg

  • Film Guide: PG
  • Rating: 5 stars
  • Would I recommend it: Definitely

Roald Dahl has to rate up there as one of the best and most-loved writer of children’s books … ever.

I love his books and have read them all to SC – and if you get a chance to visit his museum – do – it’s amazing.

We’ve even read his autobiography of his childhood – it’s definitely worth a read and I guarantee you will never look at liquorice laces in the same way again!

But The BFG is definitely a firm favourite.

Being old enough to remember the cartoon version, voiced by the inimitable David Jason, I wasn’t sure that anything could top it let alone a live-action version (seems to be all the rage these days taking an animated film and live-actioning it!)

But, how wrong I was.

The film stayed true to the book with only a slight veering off course at the end – where the giants are not thrown into a pit, but somewhere else and Sophie lives happily ever after, which we never actually find out in the book.

The lovely Mark Rylance took the role of The BFG – totally unrecognisable, but utterly wonderful.  From the moment he emerged from the darkness you warmed to him.

12 year old Ruby Barnhill literally steals the entire film with her portrayal of the orphan Sophie – she was lovely to watch and the moments between her and the BFG were just magical.

Rounding off the main cast is Penelope Wilton as the queen – there is no one who could have played her better.

I laughed – seriously and out loud – I defy anyone not too – especially after the queen and all the royal subjects drink frobscottle (if you’ve read the book you’ll know what happens next!)

I sat mesmerised at the dream catching – truly magical.

I cried – seriously and with tears rolling down my face – there were some very tender moments and the music by John Williams (who better) added to the emotion and I just couldn’t help myself – mind you I do cry very easily when watching, or reading anything.

I sat enthralled from the first moment until the last credits rolled – it was, in my opinion, a great cinemagraphic tribute to one the world’s best writers.

I loved it, so did SC.

If you get a chance to see it, please do – and if you’re anything like me – take a packet of tissues!

“I am brave!”

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Friday Poem – Cinderella

Roald Dahl (1916-1990) is one of my all-time favourite authors.charming

If you get a chance to read his first autobiography”Boy: Tales of Childhood”, do. It’s brilliant, especially the bit with the dead mouse, and you will never quite look at liquorice in the same way again!

Anyway, not only is he the author of such classics as Charlie & the Chocolate Factory, James & the Giant Peach and Matilda, amongst others, but he also wrote some rather revolting rhymes 😉 and seeing as we are still in Pantomime season (just) I thought I would use this fabulously funny poem about Cinderella, which reminds us that sometimes Prince Charming may not be quite so charming underneath!

Cinderella

I guess you think you know this story.
You don’t. The real one’s much more gory.
The phoney one, the one you know,
Was cooked up years and years ago,
And made to sound all soft and sappy
just to keep the children happy.
Mind you, they got the first bit right,
The bit where, in the dead of night,
The Ugly Sisters, jewels and all,
Departed for the Palace Ball,
While darling little Cinderella
Was locked up in a slimy cellar,
Where rats who wanted things to eat,
Began to nibble at her feet.

She bellowed ‘Help!’ and ‘Let me out!
The Magic Fairy heard her shout.
Appearing in a blaze of light,
She said: ‘My dear, are you all right?’
‘All right?’ cried Cindy .’Can’t you see
‘I feel as rotten as can be!’
She beat her fist against the wall,
And shouted, ‘Get me to the Ball!
‘There is a Disco at the Palace!
‘The rest have gone and I am jealous!
‘I want a dress! I want a coach!
‘And earrings and a diamond brooch!
‘And silver slippers, two of those!
‘And lovely nylon panty hose!
‘Done up like that I’ll guarantee
‘The handsome Prince will fall for me!’
The Fairy said, ‘Hang on a tick.’
She gave her wand a mighty flick
And quickly, in no time at all,
Cindy was at the Palace Ball!

It made the Ugly Sisters wince
To see her dancing with the Prince.
She held him very tight and pressed
herself against his manly chest.
The Prince himself was turned to pulp,
All he could do was gasp and gulp.
Then midnight struck. She shouted,’Heck!
I’ve got to run to save my neck!’
The Prince cried, ‘No! Alas! Alack!’
He grabbed her dress to hold her back.
As Cindy shouted, ‘Let me go!’
The dress was ripped from head to toe.

She ran out in her underwear,
And lost one slipper on the stair.
The Prince was on it like a dart,
He pressed it to his pounding heart,
‘The girl this slipper fits,’ he cried,
‘Tomorrow morn shall be my bride!
I’ll visit every house in town
‘Until I’ve tracked the maiden down!’
Then rather carelessly, I fear,
He placed it on a crate of beer.

At once, one of the Ugly Sisters,
(The one whose face was blotched with blisters)
Sneaked up and grabbed the dainty shoe,
And quickly flushed it down the loo.
Then in its place she calmly put
The slipper from her own left foot.
Ah ha, you see, the plot grows thicker,
And Cindy’s luck starts looking sicker.

Next day, the Prince went charging down
To knock on all the doors in town.
In every house, the tension grew.
Who was the owner of the shoe?
The shoe was long and very wide.
(A normal foot got lost inside.)
Also it smelled a wee bit icky.
(The owner’s feet were hot and sticky.)
Thousands of eager people came
To try it on, but all in vain.
Now came the Ugly Sisters’ go.
One tried it on. The Prince screamed, ‘No!’
But she screamed, ‘Yes! It fits! Whoopee!
‘So now you’ve got to marry me!’
The Prince went white from ear to ear.
He muttered, ‘Let me out of here.’
‘Oh no you don’t! You made a vow!
‘There’s no way you can back out now!’
‘Off with her head!’The Prince roared back.
They chopped it off with one big whack.
This pleased the Prince. He smiled and said,
‘She’s prettier without her head.’
Then up came Sister Number Two,
Who yelled, ‘Now I will try the shoe!’
‘Try this instead!’ the Prince yelled back.
He swung his trusty sword and smack
Her head went crashing to the ground.
It bounced a bit and rolled around.
In the kitchen, peeling spuds,
Cinderella heard the thuds
Of bouncing heads upon the floor,
And poked her own head round the door.
‘What’s all the racket? ‘Cindy cried.
‘Mind your own bizz,’ the Prince replied.
Poor Cindy’s heart was torn to shreds.
My Prince! she thought. He chops off heads!
How could I marry anyone
Who does that sort of thing for fun?

The Prince cried, ‘Who’s this dirty slut?
‘Off with her nut! Off with her nut!’
Just then, all in a blaze of light,
The Magic Fairy hove in sight,
Her Magic Wand went swoosh and swish!
‘Cindy! ‘she cried, ‘come make a wish!
‘Wish anything and have no doubt
‘That I will make it come about!’
Cindy answered, ‘Oh kind Fairy,
‘This time I shall be more wary.
‘No more Princes, no more money.
‘I have had my taste of honey.
I’m wishing for a decent man.
‘They’re hard to find. D’you think you can?’
Within a minute, Cinderella
Was married to a lovely feller,
A simple jam maker by trade,
Who sold good home-made marmalade.
Their house was filled with smiles and laughter
And they were happy ever after.

*********************

Don’t we all wish for a decent man 😉

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