I only ask, because the other day I overheard a window cleaner saying to his mate that “the perfect woman doesn’t exist!”
And how many times are women heard bemoaning the fact that the perfect man isn’t out there either?
Are we all actually just striving for something that, in the end, doesn’t exist?
Who decides what makes a perfect man/woman?
We all know the sterotypes that are thrust upon us via various mediums – tall, dark, brooding and handsome men, and stick thin women, with perfect hair and skin, or blonde, blue-eyed with big …!
And as children, fairytales are all very well and good, but do women ever get the literary knight in shining armour who will fight to the death for her, and likewise do men get the beautiful perfect princess?
With the opposite sex put on extremely high pedestals for us, is it any wonder that after searching for perfection we seem to just give up, or settle and then bemoan our not-so-perfect partners’ foibles!
But would perfection be in fact perfect?
After all, if you had the stick-thin, perfect haired model could you put up with her eating nothing, except maybe the odd bit of tissue paper, and smoking like a chimney to stave off the hunger pangs, or if she did eat, hold her hair for her whilst she made herself sick out of guilt that she may have just eaten something that would put on an ounce?
Or if you had the dark, brooding handsome type, would it get a bit too boring with all that brooding and not any mental action?
And because we are all seem to be striving to find the ‘perfect’ partner, when we hit a curve in the road, or a not-so-perfect one time after time, the pedestal starts wavering and then tottering and then falls over and smashes on to the ground leaving us feeling that we are not worthy of that ‘perfect’ love because of all the hurt we have endured and that all members of the opposite sex are bar stewards/b**ches ** [** delete as appropriate]
And once we fall into the trap of believing in the stereotype, i.e., all members of the opposite sex are…, that apparently is a rut we stay in until we snap ourselves out of it. So every potential partner we meet, instead of seeing the good, our subconscious tells us that it will all end badly and therefore we get what we deserve. Our words, thoughts and feelings form our realities, as they say
I have been in this rut for so many years I have lost count – previous encounters left me feeling that I am unworthy of being loved, therefore with each new encounter I try too hard and end up constantly being treated like a doormat with no feelings. That is my failing, no one else’s. My experience has led me to fall into the belief that all men will walk all over me, and consequently that is what has happened. I need to realise that it is not true of all men, there are some good ones out there … somewhere, and that I need to treat any new encounter as just that. A new encounter – with no hang-ups about Mr Wrongs past.
Everyone is worthy of being loved for who they are, even me, and everyone deserves to be respected for who they are.
We are all individuals, each uniquely different, with amazing qualities if we care to look beneath the surface.
Maybe we need to smash the ‘perfect man/woman’ ideal and become more flexible in our perception of perfection, then we will be able to find that there is a perfect someone out there for all of us?