Tag Archives: protection

What do cuddles mean to you?

I love cuddles!

I’m a huggy person – and I am not ashamed to admit it!

Cuddles are great to give and receive.

SC and I have a morning ritual, whilst his cereal is warming up, whereby I sit on the floor with my arms outstretched and he runs from the other side of the room and flings himself at me and we just have a huge hug.

In the evenings, just before I read him his stories, we have another ritual, whereby we have a huge hug and I tell him how much I love him – which is, to quote a very famous spaceman, “to infinity and beyond!”

If I’m feeling a bit “out of sorts” he instinctively knows and just gives me a big cuddle and says “I love you Mummy” – and that makes the world right again 😉

Hugs are also a great way of telling friends you’re there, when words can sometimes fail, in times of trouble.

And when you are with someone special, for me, cuddles are far more intimate and sensuous than anything.

I would rather spend a night enveloped in someone’s arms (and cuddling back) feeling loved, safe, and all those feelings that go with it, than anything else on earth.

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Being Me

“Be yourself!”

Isn’t that what we’re always told when we’re growing up?

But yet, when we are ourselves, if we don’t ‘fit in’ to society’s nice little pigeon holes we are derided, ridiculed, shunned and made to feel worthless.

Just because we dared to be ourselves. Dared to be different.

That’s when we start to hide our true selves, hide behind a mask, hide behind a façade, hide our feelings from the world, scared to let the world see the real us.

I’ve spent most of my life apologising.

Apologising for what? Apologising for being me and then trying desperately to be something and someone that I’m just clearly not meant to be.

I built up walls around myself to protect me from everything – life, people, the world, myself – but those walls kept me a prisoner.

I was afraid to be me.

And yet life went on. The world kept spinning, time kept marching on and I just existed.

But. And it’s a big but.

I realised in the end you have to be yourself, otherwise you are just living a lie.

As I said in my 1st post of this new blog, over the past couple of years I have undergone a transformation. I have been Joshua and those walls of Jericho have come tumbling down.

I have forgiven myself and come to love who I am.

I have learned from mistakes past and grown.

I always look on the bright side and try to see the kindness in others.

I try to start each day on a positive note and am thankful for everything I am and everything I have.

For sure there are days when I do let things get to me, but instead of worrying, hiding or beating myself up, I just let life flow and make the most of every opportunity or curve ball life throws me.

I know I’m not perfect and I’m not even pretending I am, but I’m right now I feel more alive than I have ever done … and it’s a great feeling 😉

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