Tag Archives: prince charming

Letter to Prince Charming

Dear Prince Charming

I don’t know who you are, or where you are?

I’m assuming you:

a) are riding on a tortoise as opposed to a white charger
b) missed the bus
c) are delayed slaying dragons

** Delete as appropriate (but please choose your answer wisely!)

Whoever, and wherever you are I hope you’re worth the bloody wait!

But I guess whilst I’m waiting you should know a little about me and what you need to do to win this fair lady over ….

If you’re expecting a short, blonde-haired, blue-eyed, big boobed doll you may as well just carry on riding. Sorry to disappoint, but I’m a tall, long-legged bird with brown hair and eyes that tend to change colour depending on what I wear.

Despite all the knocks that life has dealt me, I still believe in romance, I believe in happy-ever-afters, I believe in love and most of all I will believe in the man who will act like a gentleman and never stop choosing me for the rest of his life.

I’m rubbish at dating, I can’t “play the game” and don’t know the rules.

I won’t text often, only if you get in touch with me so it may appear like I’m  a bit of an ice queen as I get to know you (I’m not though)) but seeing as you’re Prince Charming, isn’t it your job to pursue me and keep me keen?

I will believe and trust in you that you will not be the kind of man to disappoint me.

I know all about “the man cave” so if you tell me you’re busy, I will respect your need for space to sort out whatever stuff it is you’re going through and won’t contact you at all, but wait until you are ready to talk. That doesn’t mean I don’t care, I would (probably too much) and will miss you.

I’m weird, kooky and quirky, so you’d best be prepared for: me to walk along the edge of the pavement, swing around lampposts, jump over puddles, steam up the stairs 2 at a time (always 2 steps, never one at a time), my shoulders to unconsciously start moving along to music, random dancing, my imagination and a million and one other types of craziness. If you can accept this, great, if you care to join me, even better 😉

I’m also a serious, smart girl. I think way too much, over-analyse everything but I know my worth.

I have standards and I don’t share men. If you knock on my door and continue weighing up various options, I will not hesitate in slamming the door and removing myself from the option list.  After all I’m not a one in a million kind of girl, I’m a once in a lifetime girl!

I believe in action over words. If you want me you need to pursue me, make me feel like I’m the only one, move mountains to be with me, make me feel loved, prove to me that you want this more than I do and most importantly be the man to prove to me that you are not the same as all the rest.

I want someone who will call or text me without reason, wants to see me, gets jealous and over-protective and loves me for me.

I don’t just want a physical connection, I crave an emotional and spiritual connection. I want to know the real you and you to know the real me.  If you can seduce my mind, my body is yours, if you can find and connect with my soul, then I’m yours forever.

When you’ve won my heart, it won’t be because I need you, it will be because I want you – pure & simple.

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Friday Poem – Cinderella

Roald Dahl (1916-1990) is one of my all-time favourite authors.charming

If you get a chance to read his first autobiography”Boy: Tales of Childhood”, do. It’s brilliant, especially the bit with the dead mouse, and you will never quite look at liquorice in the same way again!

Anyway, not only is he the author of such classics as Charlie & the Chocolate Factory, James & the Giant Peach and Matilda, amongst others, but he also wrote some rather revolting rhymes 😉 and seeing as we are still in Pantomime season (just) I thought I would use this fabulously funny poem about Cinderella, which reminds us that sometimes Prince Charming may not be quite so charming underneath!

Cinderella

I guess you think you know this story.
You don’t. The real one’s much more gory.
The phoney one, the one you know,
Was cooked up years and years ago,
And made to sound all soft and sappy
just to keep the children happy.
Mind you, they got the first bit right,
The bit where, in the dead of night,
The Ugly Sisters, jewels and all,
Departed for the Palace Ball,
While darling little Cinderella
Was locked up in a slimy cellar,
Where rats who wanted things to eat,
Began to nibble at her feet.

She bellowed ‘Help!’ and ‘Let me out!
The Magic Fairy heard her shout.
Appearing in a blaze of light,
She said: ‘My dear, are you all right?’
‘All right?’ cried Cindy .’Can’t you see
‘I feel as rotten as can be!’
She beat her fist against the wall,
And shouted, ‘Get me to the Ball!
‘There is a Disco at the Palace!
‘The rest have gone and I am jealous!
‘I want a dress! I want a coach!
‘And earrings and a diamond brooch!
‘And silver slippers, two of those!
‘And lovely nylon panty hose!
‘Done up like that I’ll guarantee
‘The handsome Prince will fall for me!’
The Fairy said, ‘Hang on a tick.’
She gave her wand a mighty flick
And quickly, in no time at all,
Cindy was at the Palace Ball!

It made the Ugly Sisters wince
To see her dancing with the Prince.
She held him very tight and pressed
herself against his manly chest.
The Prince himself was turned to pulp,
All he could do was gasp and gulp.
Then midnight struck. She shouted,’Heck!
I’ve got to run to save my neck!’
The Prince cried, ‘No! Alas! Alack!’
He grabbed her dress to hold her back.
As Cindy shouted, ‘Let me go!’
The dress was ripped from head to toe.

She ran out in her underwear,
And lost one slipper on the stair.
The Prince was on it like a dart,
He pressed it to his pounding heart,
‘The girl this slipper fits,’ he cried,
‘Tomorrow morn shall be my bride!
I’ll visit every house in town
‘Until I’ve tracked the maiden down!’
Then rather carelessly, I fear,
He placed it on a crate of beer.

At once, one of the Ugly Sisters,
(The one whose face was blotched with blisters)
Sneaked up and grabbed the dainty shoe,
And quickly flushed it down the loo.
Then in its place she calmly put
The slipper from her own left foot.
Ah ha, you see, the plot grows thicker,
And Cindy’s luck starts looking sicker.

Next day, the Prince went charging down
To knock on all the doors in town.
In every house, the tension grew.
Who was the owner of the shoe?
The shoe was long and very wide.
(A normal foot got lost inside.)
Also it smelled a wee bit icky.
(The owner’s feet were hot and sticky.)
Thousands of eager people came
To try it on, but all in vain.
Now came the Ugly Sisters’ go.
One tried it on. The Prince screamed, ‘No!’
But she screamed, ‘Yes! It fits! Whoopee!
‘So now you’ve got to marry me!’
The Prince went white from ear to ear.
He muttered, ‘Let me out of here.’
‘Oh no you don’t! You made a vow!
‘There’s no way you can back out now!’
‘Off with her head!’The Prince roared back.
They chopped it off with one big whack.
This pleased the Prince. He smiled and said,
‘She’s prettier without her head.’
Then up came Sister Number Two,
Who yelled, ‘Now I will try the shoe!’
‘Try this instead!’ the Prince yelled back.
He swung his trusty sword and smack
Her head went crashing to the ground.
It bounced a bit and rolled around.
In the kitchen, peeling spuds,
Cinderella heard the thuds
Of bouncing heads upon the floor,
And poked her own head round the door.
‘What’s all the racket? ‘Cindy cried.
‘Mind your own bizz,’ the Prince replied.
Poor Cindy’s heart was torn to shreds.
My Prince! she thought. He chops off heads!
How could I marry anyone
Who does that sort of thing for fun?

The Prince cried, ‘Who’s this dirty slut?
‘Off with her nut! Off with her nut!’
Just then, all in a blaze of light,
The Magic Fairy hove in sight,
Her Magic Wand went swoosh and swish!
‘Cindy! ‘she cried, ‘come make a wish!
‘Wish anything and have no doubt
‘That I will make it come about!’
Cindy answered, ‘Oh kind Fairy,
‘This time I shall be more wary.
‘No more Princes, no more money.
‘I have had my taste of honey.
I’m wishing for a decent man.
‘They’re hard to find. D’you think you can?’
Within a minute, Cinderella
Was married to a lovely feller,
A simple jam maker by trade,
Who sold good home-made marmalade.
Their house was filled with smiles and laughter
And they were happy ever after.

*********************

Don’t we all wish for a decent man 😉

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Why is everyone so interested in my relationship status these days?

Clearly, some people have far too much time on their hands for thinking!

Seriously, in the last month I have lost count of the number of people who have said to me (or any variation of the below):

“So, any boyfriends?”

“What happens with boyfriends and SC?”

“Isn’t there someone special in your life yet?”

“It’s about time you had another child!”

 

I despair, really I do. It’s no one’s business but my own.

So for the record.

No. No boyfriends – singular or plural!

I certainly don’t need one – unless, of course, they just happen to be this season’s must-have accessory darling!

As for wanting one, well, it would be nice for Prince Charming to come to the rescue of this fair damsel but I’m petrified of the whole dating thing. I have no idea how to play, I don’t play games and I certainly don’t have it in me to be some conniving, manipulative woman-on-a-mission, or indeed want to pretend to be some pathetic, lame damsel-in-distress in order to ‘catch a man’. I’m me! I shouldn’t have to change being me, should I? If someone can’t accept the real you, then they aren’t worth it really, are they?

Even if I did have a boyfriend, meeting SC would only happen if I was comfortable about it, and, more importantly they were. After all, I wouldn’t want SC to meet someone and for them then never …. well, that would just be too awful.

Yes. There is someone special in my life. 2, in fact. Me – I’m my own special someone, and SC – he’s my Prince Charming.

Yes, I would love to have another child, if nature allows. But if Mr Completely Wonderful fails to show then does it really matter? I have SC – who means more to me than life itself – and I am truly blessed to have him.

 

End of story!

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What Does Romance Mean to you?

… after years of Disney, fairy stories and Hollywood movies where the girls always get a ‘happy-ever-after’ I thought that romance meant there was a knight in shining armour, or Prince romanceCharming, with big romantic gestures ready to sweep a girl off her feet and ride off into the sunset of ‘happy-ever-afters’.

But you know what?

I don’t want sunbursts and marble halls – to quote Anne of Green Gables.

The most romantic thing for me is the most precious commodity anybody owns … time!

Just spending time with that special someone is worth more than any amount of a flash extravagance.

And when you are spending time with someone – even if it’s just a few hours, you can almost make time stop, so it feels like for ever.

It’s the simple things that mean the most.

– Thoughtfulness.

– Kindness.

– Long kisses.

– Talking about anything and everything.

– Walks at sunset.

– Cuddling.

– Spooning.

– Holding hands so that you don’t know where your hand ends and theirs starts.

– Listening to music in the candlelight.

Romance doesn’t have to cost the earth.

Sometimes the simplest things have a way of making you feel like everything is … magic 😉

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Valentine’s Day Commercialism

OK, so I’m a single cynic when it comes to Valentine’s Day.roses

But is it just me, or has this too been ram-raided into being over-commercialised. No longer are the mince pies cleared off the supermarket shelves on December 26th, than Valentines day cards and chocolates appear.

Now don’t get me wrong, I am an incurable romantic who wants Prince Charming to ride up on his silver white charger and sweep me off my feet, but why do we feel compelled to over-spend on Valentine’s Day?

Surely, if you love someone with all your heart you show them every day how much you love them, in the small things you do – like leaving the bathroom seat down, or even just listening – you don’t need to build it up and just be romantic on one day of the year?

Of course, it is a day for lovers, but you don’t need to go overboard, or is it, like everything else built up so that if we don’t get the flowers and the card and the chocolates and the jewellery we feel hard done by?

You’ve got someone who loves you, that should be enough!

If I’ve been in a relationship on Valentine’s Day, I have always said, nice though it may be but, not to buy flowers because they are half the price the following day!

I would rather have someone show he care every day, than just one big show once a year!

For the record though, last year this single gal got a dozen red roses (they just happened to be from a 4yo)

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Do You Deserve Everything You Get?

Someone said to me yesterday that I deserved everything I got!

This was said with malice, I hasten to add.

And that got me thinking, do I, or anyone else come to think of it, deserve what they get in life?

And thinking further is it actually what we deserve, or merely a physical manifestation of our innermost wants, which we ourselves are oblivious of until such time as ‘we get what we deserve’?

And without getting too philosophical or psychological is it perhaps the universe giving us what it knows we can handle?

I remember watching a film, think it was “The Wedding Date”, with Debra Messing (her off Will & Grace) and the father, played by the rather swoonsome Paul Egan, said to Debra Messing’s character that women get the love life they want.

So men, or women who get treated badly, is it because they want to be treated badly, or is it because they have such low self-esteem that they think they don’t deserve to be treated well?

And that got me thinking again? (And we all know how much I think, and boy has it given me a stinker of a headache!!)

So, I tried to take the philosophy that what we get is merely a physical manifestation of our innermost wants and apply it to some areas of my life.

And here’s what I came up with:

Love

Being a true romantic at heart, with a head full of fairy-tales, I believe in there being a Prince Charming out there somewhere.

In reality though I know Prince Charming doesn’t exist. So maybe, when I thought I’d got close to that fairytale, it was with someone I knew, deep down, could and would never be mine? So I got the fairytale in my imagination, but being reality it never really existed in the first place!

Life

I obviously didn’t set out to be a single-mother, but that is the situation I find myself in. Is this merely a physical manifestation of the fact that I thrive on a challenge and find ‘normality’ tedious? I suppose that could be true – after all I was constantly on the move in my career pre-SC – not that I have any lingering wishes towards Mr Wrong No. 2, far from it. Maybe the Universe dealt me this card because it knew I had the wherewithal to cope – although some days I seriously doubt its judgement!

Work

Nothing is ever handed to anyone, and you have to work for what you want. There are no quick wins to fame or fortune, so to speak, except through hard work. That’s what makes slogging your guts out worthwhile, when you can see the results of all that hard work. Sometimes it takes a lifetime. And again, maybe deep down the reason I keep going, is because I’m not a quitter and I just want to prove everyone wrong – just once – and show that I can do it!

It’s not a perfect explanation, but at least its got the thoughts out of my head, and relieved some of the headache!

I don’t believe we deserve what we get!

I believe we all have the power to overcome anything in life, if we choose too, rather than sitting down, doing nothing and letting life pass us by.

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My Perfect Man

Obviously, going all Disney, he has to be Prince Charming who will whisk me off my feet, then we’ll ride off into the sunset on his white steed and live happily ever after 😉

But I know fairy-tales don’t really exist, and there’s no riding off into the sunset to live happily ever after, relationships are hard work!

So following on from my “Perfect Man” post, here’s my ‘shopping list’ in no particular order 😉

  1. Over 6ft please – I’m 6ft in heels, and seriously would prefer to look up to someone in the physical sense rather than eyeball them!
  2. Someone who likes to take care of themselves, but not to the extreme though;
  3. Hair & Eye Colour – seriously doesn’t matter;
  4. Non-smoker;
  5. Someone kind and considerate – I’m sure there must be some men out there who are?
  6. Someone not averse to helping with housework chores, including cooking – clothes washing aside (we already know how anal I am about that!)
  7. Someone I can respect, who will respect me in return;
  8. Someone in tune with emotions, theirs and those of others;
  9. Someone who loves me for who I am, faults included;
  10. White Charger (optional) 😉

Not an extortionate request is it?

I don’t care what they do, how much they earn, or any other materialistic clap trap. At the end of the day I just want someone who will treat me with kindness, compassion and respect.

 

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