Tag Archives: Present

Perpetual Sacrifice

I have just started reading an amazing book, called “The Ascent of Humanity”, by Charles Eisenstein.

Now, normally I would skim read and finish a book within a matter of hours, however this book is very thick, in-depth and makes you think. So I am taking my time to read, inwardly digest and re-read to ensure I have the right understanding of the matter.

I’m only on Chapter 2, but there was a phrase used which got me thinking.

“Perpetual sacrifice”

The idea being that we constantly live in this state of being, in a state of perpetual sacrifice. Where we effectively put off chasing our dreams, in order to survive today, or as the author puts it sacrificing the present for the future…which never comes!

You see it and hear it constantly – “work before play”, “no pain, no gain”, “control yourself”, etc.

How many of us have unfulfilled dreams that seem as far off achieving today and when we first started dreaming about them, whether it be travelling the world, writing a novel or even something as mundane like starting a new hobby?

How many of us always seem to say “too busy, too much to do, I’ll do it tomorrow!”

But in reality, does tomorrow ever come?

It generally transpires that all those hopes and dreams we cling to, that we will get round to doing tomorrow never get done and at the end of our days we will say “I wish I’d done that!”

I’m not saying we should all throw in our jobs and just go off follow our dreams, but we should make time to at least start fulfilling some of them, shouldn’t we?

All personal coaches and the such talk about a work-life balance and being able to create a good one.

However, in reality, doesn’t work always seem to win out over the ‘life’ part.

Despite all the technology at our disposal, life doesn’t seem to get easier, we work harder, longer and how many of you take androids, tablets, blackberry’s and other hand-held devices on holiday, on family outings in order to ‘stay in touch’ with the office?

And why? Is it because it is the norm, and it is expected of you? Is it a case of if you don’t then you will be seen to be not working as hard as someone who does? Who decided this?

I’ll admit, I don’t have a job working for someone else, so I don’t understand office politics and games. But, going off topic slightly, I did get addicted, for want of a better word, to checking my emails, phone message, posting on social media sites, etc. I then took SC on holiday and for that week apart from my mobile, which only calls and texts, I did not ‘check in’ once – and let me tell you it was liberating 😉

But getting back on track, sacrifice.

How do we ‘make time’ in a constantly demanding world where the work part takes an ever-increasing amount of time away from us – time we could spend with our family, our health, our leisure activities?

Should we just, maybe, say “enough is enough” and when we get home in the evening forget about work, and at the weekend turn off all ‘work-related’ devices?

Or should we just continue the path we are walking and let the future stay as far ahead as ever?

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The Psychology of Me

Psychology is all about studying how we think, feel and act.

So I thought it might be quite amusing to try to work out the psychology of me!

 

I think too much. I feel too much. I act too little.

I think with my soul. I feel with my heart. I act with my conscience.

I think kind thoughts. I feel compassion. I act with empathy.

I think of love. I feel hurt. I act like I don’t care.

I think of life. I feel time passing too quickly. I act too slowly.

I think of work. I feel stressed. I act upon my instincts.

I think of the future. I feel afraid. I act to protect myself.

I think of fun. I feel happy. I act like a child.

I think of people who have hurt me. I feel abused. I act like a victim.

I think of family. I feel blessed. I act grateful.

I think of you. I feel alive. I can act as myself.

I think of happiness. I feel blessed. I act positive.

I think of life. I feel glad. I act happy.

 

But what I think, feel and act, sometimes are at complete odds with each other – because:

I’m the girl that smiles even when I’m broken.

I’m the girl that thinks of others, even when I have no one.

I’m the girl who trusts too much in the hope that one day someone will not let me down.

I’m the girl who acts as if she hasn’t a care in the world, when actually I’m worried to the pit of my stomach about everything.

I’m the girl who looks strong, but would easily break.

But I’m the girl who picks herself up every time she falls.

 

 

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Letter to SC

To my darling boy

I never knew how much you could love someone until I had you.

I loved you from the moment I found out I was expecting you.

People might think I’m crazy but I talked to you all the time about how much fun we would have and how much I loved you and was looking forward to holding you in my arms.

The first thing I remember after you were born was holding you in my arms thinking how tiny you were and how clumsy I felt. You were so precious and fragile and new, my hands just felt too big and awkward.

But most of all I felt so much love for you, and thanked the angels for sending me the most beautiful gift.

You have grown into an amazing little boy – I am so proud of you.

I’m sorry that you will be an only child. I didn’t want that for you, it’s just the way life has panned out.

And that’s the first lesson I can teach you. That life, sometimes isn’t fair and we don’t always get what we want or think we deserve. You just have to learn to deal with it.

You can either whinge, moan and mope about it, in which case you’ll always be looking back.

Or you can accept the disappointment. It will hurt for a while, but by accepting it you can move on and carry on living and look forward to more wonderful things that await you.

And that’s the second thing I can teach you – never look back, especially with regret or anger. If you do then you are preventing yourself from growing as a person. Sometimes bad things happen in our lives and we can choose to continue to let past hurts affect the present or learn to forgive and leave the past where it belongs as it has no place in the present.

We cannot change the past, we can only learn from mistakes made by ourselves or forgive the actions of others to free ourselves from their chains in order to become happier within ourselves.

Part of the job description of being a parent is guiding you through the path to adulthood by teaching you right from wrong and giving you a good set of morals by which to live. It’s a tricky path and there will be lots of trials and tribulations, but always remember I am there for you. You can tell me anything that’s worrying you and I won’t ever judge. If you stop talking to me, then I can’t help. We are walking the path together and all you have to do is hold my hand and I will help you through.

We’re a team – it’s you and me kiddo.

The third thing I can teach you is to always be yourself. There’s no point in copying the behaviour or actions of others, it does you no favours in the long run. Don’t follow the herd. Always be your own person, know your own mind and be strong. We are all unique individuals with our own special character, talents and faults. We need to be aware of our own talents and faults in equal measure as no one is perfect. If you can acknowledge your own faults, you can help minimise them.

Let people see the real you, and not what you think they want to see. Your true friends will take you for who you are, warts and all, and be there in your time of need. Those who do not, cannot really be said to be friends at all.

The fourth thing I can teach you is to always strive to do your best. Ambition, determination and a will to succeed are not bad assets to have. Nothing in life is ever handed to you on a plate or for free. The only way you can get what you want is by working your hardest for it.

Sometimes ambition, determination and a will to succeed are still not enough. You can give it your all and you might still not get anywhere. This is not a failure though. It is only a failure if you don’t acknowledge that a project has reached its natural conclusion. If you can accept this, then again we learn lessons and we don’t make the same mistakes again.

I will support and encourage you in whatever you want to do. I’m not the type of parent who is going to force my interests on you and make you do something you don’t want to do. We have to find our own things that we enjoy – hobby and work wise. So, if you want to be an astronaut and explore the farthest corner of the galaxy, then you go out there and make it happen 😉

We all have dreams. Dreams are what keep us going in our darkest hours. But sometimes dreams are just that, dreams. I’m not saying you should let go of them, just realise that some dreams won’t come true, however hard you wish 😉 And that’s probably one of the hardest things to learn, but even though a dream won’t come true doesn’t mean you should stop imagining.

And that’s the fifth thing I can teach you. Never let go of your imagination. Without imagination we are nothing. As children we have the most amazing ability to imagine wonderful things and as we grow older convention somehow stifles this creativity. Sometimes though a little imagination goes a long way to solving problems.

The last thing I can teach you is to try to show compassion and kindness to all. It won’t solve all the worlds problems, but by showing empathy it shows you care. Always remember to do as you would be done by.

I love you so much my darling boy, and am trying to be the best mummy I can for you. I’m learning too 😉

xxxx

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Life is all…

… should have, would have, could have, don’t you think?

I should have bought a house years ago, instead of dithering about wondering whether prices would go down before they sky-rocketed into the stratosphere!

I would have gone to New Zealand to visit the ‘rellies’ had I actually booked a flight instead of waiting until I am now to petrified to actually get on a plane – although I’m getting over this one and actually planning to take SC for a visit … initially (plans are afoot, but more about that in another post) 😉

I could have gone to work abroad, if I’d accepted the contract, instead of passing up the opportunity to try to keep hold of a relationship that was going nowhere!

But there’ s no sense regretting any of it. After all as Eleanor Roosevelt said “the past is history, the future is a mystery and today is a gift that’s why it is called the present!”

Each day is a gift, and I try to live each day to its fullest – with no regrets 😉

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Wednesday Wisdom

I can’t change the past.

I can’t predict the future.

All I can live for is the present.

We have to trust our feelings.

I believe how I feel.

I have faith in my belief.

I have been given the gift of hope.

I trust that gift.

I am learning patience.

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