Tag Archives: people

Top 5 Lessons I’ve Learned in Life

You may be seated, class is about to begin 😉life

As I’ve meandered through this thing called life, this is what I have learned, so far:

5.  Don’t get on the negative horses – such as anger, bitterness, self-pity, self-doubt, etc. If someone or something has happened to you then yes, your first reaction may be something negative. But if you stay with that negative frame of mind then that is your choice, not the person, or thing, that hurt you. And then the only person you are hurting is yourself. This is a phrase I have only recently discovered and yes, at times it is very difficult to stay off those damn horses, especially if SC is faffing about when it comes to getting homework done (I swear pulling hen’s teeth would be easier!). But I am getting better at letting those negative horses stay grazing in the field, whilst I stay with the positive team 😉

4.  Treat everyone with kindness – yes, they may not treat you the same in return, but surely that says more about them than you. And by treating everyone with kindness, even if it is just a smile, or offering your seat to someone, then you could make a difference to that person’s day. So my act of kindness today is to send everyone a big smile. 🙂

3.  Keep Learning – learning doesn’t stop when you finish school. The more we learn, the more we grow as people. And we learn and grow from life experiences, and if we don’t then life will keep throwing the same stuff at you until you do learn it. It’s a bit like continuous assessment rather than actually ever having to sit down and take an exam. I think one of the toughest lessons I’ve learned is when it comes to relationships to just let it flow. When I first went out with Boomerang Boy we saw each other continuously for 3 weeks, then it was a case of adios senorita. When I next went out with someone and he dumped me I was accused of being too clingy. Then I went to the other extreme and got accused of being too cold and distant! (And yes, I did tut and think “MEN! ARGH!”) But now, if I ever got the chance I would take it slowly and let them do most of the chasing – after all isn’t that what men really want, it’s the whole hunter/gatherer thing – and if they say they’re busy I wouldn’t freak out, like I would have done way back when, I would give them their space and wait for them to come back from the man cave. And if they don’t, then clearly their chapter in my life is over, and I would give thanks for the memories and let go – after all “I’m not a stop along the way, I’m a destination!”

2. Grab life by the Balls (‘scuse my language!) – you’ve got to. You only get one life and as they say “it’s not a dress rehearsal darling!”. Why just exist, when you can live? You have to grab each and every opportunity and curve ball life throws at you. Embrace them, live them. They may be good or not so good. If they are good then your life will be enriched and if they are not so good then you learn and grow from them. There are 86,400 seconds in each day, and I have started pretending after reading it somewhere (think it was one of the quote things I found on Pinterest) that if we think of them as £86,400 that we have to spend each and every day, where no money gets rolled over, you have to spend it all, and wisely, why on earth would you waste a single second? After all, we never know when there won’t be a tomorrow!

1.  Be You, wholeheartedly  – as the saying goes “why fit in when you were born to stand out!” I remind SC of this fairly regularly, and explain that it has taken me most of my life to actually work it out. I am, at last, happy and contented in my own skin. I know who I am, what I am and, equally important what I am not. And I most certainly am not perfect, by any stretch of the imagination. I have many faults but I take each one and try to improve them. I am quirky, some may even call me strange and weird, but does that bother me? Nope. Not any more. No one can be anything other than themselves really. We can try to fit into some kind of mould that society wants us to, but that doesn’t make us happy. It makes us miserable, as we try desperately to please everyone and make others like us for what we are not. We can only be truly happy by being true to ourselves. And the most important thing I have learned about being me, is that the only person I need ever aim to please is me.

So, there you go, they are my Top 5 lessons I have learned.

What have you learned on your journey through life?

 

 

 

Advertisements

Leave a comment

Filed under Top 10

A-Z of Life – Faith

faithDon’t worry, I’m not going to write about religion … that kind of faith.

Rather I’m going to witter on about the other definition of the word.

Faith – complete trust or confidence in someone or something.

Previously in the life of this Wonderful Geekette I was too sceptical (what do they want from me?), too judgmental (who do they think they are?), too critical (how dare you?) and too untrusting (I don’t believe you!).

Based purely on life experiences that had led me to believe, rightly or wrongly, that other people were always going to hurt, misuse and abuse me – for want of a better expression – in one way or another if I let them get close.

And, as for me I never even had faith in me, either my own abilities or opinions.

So I just hid away behind my brick wall of safety that I built up around me, letting life pass me by. Afraid of everything and everyone, because each time I did poke my nose above the parapet to take a sniff at the outside world something and/or someone would have me diving back for cover and building yet another layer on the wall.

But then, a couple of years ago (as I’ve said many times), I knew I had to get my act together.

To quote Anne of Green Gables “you’ve shut out life … and now life is shutting you out.” And I was, by hiding away I was shutting out life and doing nothing but existing.

One of the many self-help books I read basically repeated the time old saying that our thoughts become reality and we become what we think.

And I didn’t want to end up that sad, mad (well, no crazier than normal), bitter and twisted old biddy with no kind word to say about anything or anyone – believe me, I think I was on that road.

More importantly, I didn’t want my lack of faith in humanity rubbing off on SC.

So, like everything else I have done over the last couple of years to get from where I was to my present state I have had to start trusting and believing in life and people.

I have learned that life will have ups and downs, but the downs will only make you down if you let them.

I have learned to take the downs as lessons that I can learn from and grow and have faith that there is something better for me down the road.

I have learned to trust other people, although I’m still a little unsure and it takes me a while to fully open up. And by putting my trust in them I know that sometimes I may be proved wrong, but if that happens then I can’t change anything, so as they say I “don’t even worry about it!”

I have learned that not everyone will understand me and not everyone will like me. I get that now, so I’ve given up trying to please everyone, the only person I try to please is me.

I have learned to have faith, that the world is not so scary and that life is an adventure to be lived.

Leave a comment

Filed under A-Z of Life

What do cuddles mean to you?

I love cuddles!

I’m a huggy person – and I am not ashamed to admit it!

Cuddles are great to give and receive.

SC and I have a morning ritual, whilst his cereal is warming up, whereby I sit on the floor with my arms outstretched and he runs from the other side of the room and flings himself at me and we just have a huge hug.

In the evenings, just before I read him his stories, we have another ritual, whereby we have a huge hug and I tell him how much I love him – which is, to quote a very famous spaceman, “to infinity and beyond!”

If I’m feeling a bit “out of sorts” he instinctively knows and just gives me a big cuddle and says “I love you Mummy” – and that makes the world right again 😉

Hugs are also a great way of telling friends you’re there, when words can sometimes fail, in times of trouble.

And when you are with someone special, for me, cuddles are far more intimate and sensuous than anything.

I would rather spend a night enveloped in someone’s arms (and cuddling back) feeling loved, safe, and all those feelings that go with it, than anything else on earth.

Leave a comment

Filed under General

Why is everyone so interested in my relationship status these days?

Clearly, some people have far too much time on their hands for thinking!

Seriously, in the last month I have lost count of the number of people who have said to me (or any variation of the below):

“So, any boyfriends?”

“What happens with boyfriends and SC?”

“Isn’t there someone special in your life yet?”

“It’s about time you had another child!”

 

I despair, really I do. It’s no one’s business but my own.

So for the record.

No. No boyfriends – singular or plural!

I certainly don’t need one – unless, of course, they just happen to be this season’s must-have accessory darling!

As for wanting one, well, it would be nice for Prince Charming to come to the rescue of this fair damsel but I’m petrified of the whole dating thing. I have no idea how to play, I don’t play games and I certainly don’t have it in me to be some conniving, manipulative woman-on-a-mission, or indeed want to pretend to be some pathetic, lame damsel-in-distress in order to ‘catch a man’. I’m me! I shouldn’t have to change being me, should I? If someone can’t accept the real you, then they aren’t worth it really, are they?

Even if I did have a boyfriend, meeting SC would only happen if I was comfortable about it, and, more importantly they were. After all, I wouldn’t want SC to meet someone and for them then never …. well, that would just be too awful.

Yes. There is someone special in my life. 2, in fact. Me – I’m my own special someone, and SC – he’s my Prince Charming.

Yes, I would love to have another child, if nature allows. But if Mr Completely Wonderful fails to show then does it really matter? I have SC – who means more to me than life itself – and I am truly blessed to have him.

 

End of story!

Leave a comment

Filed under life

What do you do when you need a call of nature in the middle of nowhere?

…because my problem is that I cannot answer that call of nature behind a bush.woods

It’s a big problem.

I have tried. My sister (an intrepid adventurer) advised me the best way to do it. I was even given a book about it (I didn’t even know such books exist). But despite my best endeavours, it is always a complete dis-ar-ster dar-ling (said in my best Craig Revel-Horwood voice)

I have tried, but the last time…well, it’s a story at any rate 😉

I was out in the middle of nowhere in Europe on a hike with Mr Wrong No. 1. We’d stopped for lunch by a river which was running through the wood. Obviously water needed recycling, for want of a better expression, and there was nowhere to go except behind a bush.

Now, knowing I was rubbish at this I decided to completely (behind the bush I hasten to add) remove my clothing from the waist down – I mean the place was deserted – and just get on with it. All was fine, until a young local man, on a lilo of all things, floated down the river, noticed me behind the bush and shouted “hello there!”. Cue me turning a very dark shade of beetroot from me feet to the top of my head. Called hello back, and dived down again to quickly get dressed and avoid any further embarrassment 😉

So, these days when nature calls and I am not near a facility, I just grin and bear it until I am, even if it is a couple of hours later.

On the plus side it is does my pelvic floor muscles a power of good 😉

On the negative side it does make it incredibly difficult to laugh for fear of – well I’ll leave that to your imagination 😉

Leave a comment

Filed under General

Do you know what a body hitting a car sounds like?

It is the dullest of thuds, but loud enough to make everything that heard it stop!

Literally, the earth around is silent, as it takes in what has just happened.

It brings an unbelievable sense of nausea to your stomach.

Then of course the chaos ensues….

That’s what it was like this morning.

I heard the thud, then I saw a lady with a dog and thought that it was a dog that had run onto the road, then the realisation dawned that it was a schoolgirl who had been hit.

Thankfully, she was lucky to get up and walk away, but it could have been much worse.

Leave a comment

Filed under General

What are Angels?

We all know the stereotypical image of angels – chubby cheeks, innocent faces, wings, harps, etc.angels

But “what are angels” was the question posed in church today, as it was St Michael and All Angels Day.

According to the vicar, the word itself has derivations from both Greek and Hebrew meaning spiritual being, which is where I suppose the image of an angel with wings stems from!

Further that it also stems from a belief that when God created the heavens and earth, he created 3 levels – the heavens filled with spiritual beings, earth and the underworld.

Apparently the word angel appears only 300 times in the Bible and only 2 angels are given names – Michael and Gabriel.

But what are angels?

Angels are messengers and are sent to deliver information to us – whether that be a lesson we need to learn, or the confidence that we are on the right path – they are purely messengers.

I believe in angels.

I also believe that angels can be spiritual beings and humans.

Sometimes it is angels in their human form that teaches us our greatest lessons in life, and the spiritual angels that then give us the confidence to keep on going.

I also believe we have guardian angels. Someone sitting, watching over us, helping and guiding us in all we do.

What about you?

Do you think angels are real or are they just mythical beings made up from the realms of fantasy?

Do you believe in Guardian Angels?

Leave a comment

Filed under life