Tag Archives: pants

Knickers!

Following on the ‘pants’ saga, I recently purchased a pack of “high legs” from everyone’s favourite knicker shop.

Very handily they have a “knicker guide” on their website to point out the benefits of each. High leg apparently means “sits just under the tummy button with good bottom coverage and a flattering high cut on the legs”.

Mmmmmm!

I will agree with the flattering high cut on the leg.

But…

“good bottom coverage”? Oh no, I don’t think so!

I don’t know who they are trying to kid, but if you try a pair on, as I did they have more material at the front than back, resulting in the front view of the pants sitting just under your tummy button as described, but the top of the back sitting just above (there really is no polite way of saying this) your builders bottom crack.

So you have a nice high-waisted coverage at the front and pants suitable for hipsters at the back. If you try to adjust to get higher coverage at the back, you get a nice flappy bit of material underneath your gusset. Tres chic!

If I buy pants I want good coverage front and back please.

Also on the backside coverage issue, they do not fully cover your backside cheeks either. I have checked with a pair from a pack I was given last year (still in the pack) and the width of the gusset on the pair bought recently at the back is a good 2cm each side NARROWER than last years pair. I know there’s a recession, but really! These knickers do not give good bottom coverage, they are simply a wider version of a thong.

I didn’t buy a thong I bought knickers that were clearly advertised as giving good bottom coverage.

Like I said before NOT EVERYONE WANTS TO WEAR A THONG, so please stop trying to force everyone too.

Finally, what on earth is a brazilian brief?

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Pants

Is it just me, or does anyone else get mightily peeved, when shopping for matching frillies, to be offered only 2 choices of knickers – in the loosest sense of the word? Thong, or boy shorts!

Now personally, I prefer to keep my backside covered – and I can’t be the only one. So why do shops not cater for all tastes. It surely can’t be a question of cost, I mean it can’t cost that much to run a thread of elastic across the top and bottom of a Y-shaped piece of material??

According to a certain shop’s customer service, when I griped about their distinct lack of bottom-covering matching undies, the response was that “they aren’t popular amongst our clientele”.

Now I could understand that comment should their client base constitute a majority of teenagers and girls in the 20s. But this happened to be M&S, where everyone’s Granny shops. Everyone owns at least one pair of M&S undies. And when was the last time you saw an octogenarian buy a pair of boys shorts, let alone a thong!

Just what is the point of thongs?

Comfort? Surely it isn’t comfortable walking around with the feeling that you are suffering from permanent KUB Syndrome (KUB = Knickers Up Bottom). I mean we spend our formative years trying to avoid KUB Syndrome – because it’s uncomfortable and let’s face it, there is no easy or inconspicuous way to extract the offending garment – so why do we then purchase thongs? It would be more comfortable wearing dental floss.

Attractive to the opposite sex? Yes – for obvious reasons.

BUT IT IS NOT attractive poking out the top of your trousers. Let’s face it, no undergarment is, irrespective of whether it’s dental floss, lace, satin or covered in diamante.

So is the point of the thong to remove the worry of having a VPL?

Apparently though, that’s what “boy shorts” were invented for. They sure as heck weren’t invented for comfort either, because the moment you start moving so do they. Resulting in KUB Syndrome!

My advice, if you want to avoid a VPL – go commando, or buy a bigger pair of trousers!

As for me, I prefer comfort! I like to know, for want of a better expression that my backside is covered 😉

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10 interesting (or not) facts about me!

So, here you go 10 interesting (or not) facts about “l’il ol’ me!”

  1. I don’t smoke or drink – prefer not to harm my lungs or liver! I don’t drink purely because I don’t like the taste – some wines really would be better being poured over a plate of chips! And smoking, ladies, whatever the magazines and films may make you think does not look glamorous, or cool. But just because I don’t drink or smoke does not mean I don’t know how to enjoy myself 😉
  2. I love the smell of coffee but cannot stand the taste. Seriously, I love the smell you get from opening a jar of coffee, but can’t drink it, no matter how milky, frothy or decorated with sprinkles you make it! I prefer a good old cup of tea. Brewed the builder’s way – tea-bag in mug, milk, no sugar, preferably de-caffeinated but not compulsory 😉
  3. I’m allergic to e-numbers and chocolate! That’s right chocolate. I go totally haywire, and you end up having to scrape me off the ceiling. Not a pretty sight. Chocolate gives most people an incredible high – that’s why everyone loves it – but some for some people it has the opposite effect. As for me, well if I have chocolate or e-numbers I make Mr Hyde look like a pussy cat. I literally writhe about on the floor wanting to rip every limb of my body out of its socket to replace it as my muscles completely tense up.
  4. I’m an old-fashioned romantic at heart – still waiting for a handsome prince to sweep me off my feet. I don’t think there’s anything wrong in that. A girl should be wooed by a potential suitor – hearts and flowers (deep red fragrant roses obviously and happen to be my favourite) and all that jazz. It is all about romance – don’t let Cosmo or Elle tell you any different. Deep down, every girl wants the fairytale.
  5. I love reading. I’ll read anything. I pick books literally by scanning the shelves and looking at the front cover. If I like what I see I’ll buy it. I’ve read some hummers mind you. But have also read some surprisingly good ones. I am lucky that I can skim read (I can also read upside-down, but that’s only handy in interviews 😉 ) so without interruption I can read a book in about a day. I went on a fortnight’s holiday once and took 6 books with me. Take away the 2 travel days and 3 excursion days. I read all 6 in the remaining 9 – and still had time to read one again!
  6. I am completely obsessed when it comes to washing my clothes – no one, but myself can touch my washing. For the simple fact all washing machines shrink clothes! Once they are washed – on the gentlest cycle and lowest spin setting – they have to be stretched to within an inch of their life. I am at one with my obsession! But don’t think you’d be doing me a favour by doing my washing, seriously, and don’t even think tumble drier unless you want Mr Hyde to reappear!
  7. Pants – another obsession. I want a pair of pants to cover my backside. I don’t do dental floss up my bum and seriously if I wanted boy shorts I’d grow a penis (they are just as bad as G-strings as they end up stuck up your bum. Why is it so difficult to find a pair that covers your bottom. Even those that are supposed to … don’t – yes I’m talking M&S!
  8. I love cooking. I have a raft of recipe books, but at the moment very little time to actually try out different recipes. My friends used to call me the ‘dessert queen’ as I always came up trumps with pudding – essential I feel to finish off the meal. If I go out to eat I prefer main and dessert to starter and main.
  9. I’ve been vegetarian since I was 14 – not through any moral standing, just purely based on watching a video in a biology lesson about how they killed animals. My friend and I looked at each other and said “not eating meat again!” – she caved after a few weeks, I’m still going. To be honest, never was a huge fan of meat. I eat fish, and have no problems handling and cooking meat for others.
  10. I am a single mother. It certainly wasn’t a path I envisaged, but that just serves me right for picking a toad! Still, I am blessed with SC, and thank the angels every day for sending me such a wonderful gift. I didn’t want SC to be an only child, when I was little I always wanted 6 children! Now I think 2 or 3 would be a good number – if pushing it, considering my age and lack of handsome prince. But if I’m a really good girl, one day, who knows, maybe I’ll get to play happy families like everyone else 😉

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