Tag Archives: Nausea

Do you know what a body hitting a car sounds like?

It is the dullest of thuds, but loud enough to make everything that heard it stop!

Literally, the earth around is silent, as it takes in what has just happened.

It brings an unbelievable sense of nausea to your stomach.

Then of course the chaos ensues….

That’s what it was like this morning.

I heard the thud, then I saw a lady with a dog and thought that it was a dog that had run onto the road, then the realisation dawned that it was a schoolgirl who had been hit.

Thankfully, she was lucky to get up and walk away, but it could have been much worse.

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Stratospheric Stress Levels

Jeez!Not_Waving_But_Drowning

I seriously didn’t think I could be any more of a stress bunny.

But it seems I can.

I know I think way too much than is necessary and this is always bad for me.

I really thought that once I’d told put the wheels in motion to exit my contract the weight would magically lift off my shoulders.

But no!

I still feel that I’m sinking? No matter what I try to do to scrape my way back up to the surface, it’s never good enough, or doesn’t seem to work!

And all the while I feel more and more stressed and panicky to the point of complete, utter and overwhelming nausea! We don’t even mention what it’s doing to my skin, or my hormones!!!

Literally.

I seriously think even 12 months sitting atop a mountain practising chants would not be enough 😉

Still, ever the optimist the glass is always half full, and the stress is only temporary.

I might feel like I’m drowning at the moment, but soon I’ll be waving again 😉

 

Not Waving but Drowning (Stevie Smith)

Nobody heard him, the dead man,
But still he lay moaning:
I was much further out than you thought
And not waving but drowning.

Poor chap, he always loved larking
And now he’s dead
It must have been too cold for him his heart gave way,
They said.

Oh, no no no, it was too cold always
(Still the dead one lay moaning)
I was much too far out all my life
And not waving but drowning.

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The Theatre, The Theatre…

…there’s nothing like the theatre!theatre masks

I love it!

Watching it, doing it, breathing it, sleeping it.

It’s what I do.

I’ve been involved with performing arts for as long as I can remember (and probably a good few years before that too).

My mum took me to ballet classes when I was 2½. Not because she wanted me to be the next Margot Fonteyn, but more that I had far too much energy and she thought it might burn some of it off.

But I loved it.

By the time I was 4, I was doing drama too.

My childhood was spent, literally, doing dancing competitions and dance and drama exams.

I did it because I loved it, not because I was pushed to do it like so many of my friends were. My mum always said if I didn’t like it, I didn’t have to do it. My dancing friends’ mum’s made them do it, mostly because they wanted to see their daughters succeed where they had failed.

I knew I would never be a dancer – too tall for ballet, and entirely the wrong shape – but that didn’t matter, I didn’t want to go to dancing school I was far too academic and liked studying. I just loved to dance, still do in fact. I still try to do some ballet exercise, but these days I tend to do ballroom and latin 😉

Drama, on the other hand, was a completely different kettle of fish.

Oh I loved it, and more than anything I wanted to act for a living. I did go to drama school and got a scholarship, but it was not to be – I still dream that one day Adrian Noble will spy me in a local production and ask me to be in his next production at the National. I know this will never happen, but it’s nice to dream 😉

When I was 15, I branched out and joined the local operatic society. I got to sing, dance and act, all at once in a musical (which were, and still are my most favourite of films to watch). In my twenties I joined the local acting company too.

What a thrill. I could do what I loved, do shows I’d otherwise only ever dream of doing and still go out and earn a living. And more importantly, it was fun.

The one thing that has recently come to light was a conversation I had with a couple of people about am-dram. They were of the firm belief that the only people who did am-dram were those that wanted to show-off, people who want people to look at them.

In my opinion, this is not true of everyone. Oh, I will admit there are some people who do it because they want to show-off and want attention – and in my experience these are the type of people that you see on X-Factor who think they are great, but aren’t (you know the type).

First and foremost am-dram is a hobby. Yes, it takes up a lot of time and energy, but at the end of the day it is just a hobby like golf!

And the first rule of any hobby is enjoyment.

I am not saying that the people who just do it to show-off don’t enjoy it, but that should always be the crux of doing it.

I am not one of those who does it to show-off. I do it because I love it and it’s part of who I am. Even when I haven’t been in shows, I have always been able to find something to do with performing arts.

I am happy skulking around at the back of stage in the chorus, or in a lead role. And I don’t go for leads for the glory. I go for the challenge. the challenge of getting the part and then creating a believable character, getting under their skin, and living in their world for 2 hours – or however long the play is.

And Doctor Theatre is a marvellous tonic, because for those 2 hours, I can stop having to think about my life, and live in a world of imagination and make-believe.

And if I was one of those showy-offy people I wouldn’t get quite so nervous as I do – to the point of sickness. I understand nerves are normal, and I have mechanisms for coping, i.e., doing the same thing every night before a performance, from getting to the theatre at the same time, listening to the same songs in the car, doing the same things in the same order, etc.

But I do not like people staring at me. I hate it! It makes me want to curl up and hide away.

And that’s what a lot of people don’t get, or understand. They say “how come you can go on stage wearing this and doing that, but you don’t want to stand and make a speech?”

The answer is quite simple! If I was making a speech it would be me, when I’m on stage, it’s not me!”

But when it stops being enjoyable, I stop!

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Migraines

are hell!

I’ve suffered from migraine since I was 8, and I mean full on migraine not just bad headaches!

Everyone is different when it comes to what triggers migraine. For some its food, most common being dairy, red wine and chocolate. For me it’s stress and those bloody hormones again 😉

I don’t get those warning auras, I wish I did, at least that way I’d be prepared.

Migraines are very debilitating. I know I’m lucky, in that i don’t throw up, well not everytime. But it takes me at least 3 full days to recover. Once the searing pain has gone, I’m left with a constant feeling of nausea, dizziness and a muzzy head.

The only over-the-counter tablets that work for me are Migraleve. But I’m looking for any alternative treatment anyone would care to suggest.

I think I might try getting my chakras rebalanced as a starter for 10!

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