Tag Archives: nature wee

What do you do when you need a call of nature in the middle of nowhere?

…because my problem is that I cannot answer that call of nature behind a bush.woods

It’s a big problem.

I have tried. My sister (an intrepid adventurer) advised me the best way to do it. I was even given a book about it (I didn’t even know such books exist). But despite my best endeavours, it is always a complete dis-ar-ster dar-ling (said in my best Craig Revel-Horwood voice)

I have tried, but the last time…well, it’s a story at any rate ๐Ÿ˜‰

I was out in the middle of nowhere in Europe on a hike with Mr Wrong No. 1. We’d stopped for lunch by a river which was running through the wood. Obviously water needed recycling, for want of a better expression, and there was nowhere to go except behind a bush.

Now, knowing I was rubbish at this I decided to completely (behind the bush I hasten to add) remove my clothing from the waist down – I mean the place was deserted – and just get on with it. All was fine, until a young local man, on a lilo of all things, floated down the river, noticed me behind the bush and shouted “hello there!”. Cue me turning a very dark shade of beetroot from me feet to the top of my head. Called hello back, and dived down again to quickly get dressed and avoid any further embarrassment ๐Ÿ˜‰

So, these days when nature calls and I am not near a facility, I just grin and bear it until I am, even if it is a couple of hours later.

On the plus side it is does my pelvic floor muscles a power of good ๐Ÿ˜‰

On the negative side it does make it incredibly difficult to laugh for fear of – well I’ll leave that to your imagination ๐Ÿ˜‰

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When Nature Calls…

…otherwise entitled “When you gotta go – you gotta go”

Unfortunately, in SC’s case today that was in the school playground!

Having just started Year 1 (and this is by no means an excuse), thngs are a little different in terms of going when nature calls. I think he’s just a little scared of asking to go, as the toilets are outside the classroom. Also in the last 3 weeks since we started back he’s come home wet on more than one occasion. When I ask what happened, obviously not wanting to make a big issue of it, he has informed me that he isn’t allowed to go when he’s out in the playground, when these little accidents seem to be occurring.

But today, obviously true desperation called.

I got summoned to see the form teacher after school.

Whilst we were waiting for all the other children to be collected, I asked SC what had happened. Initially, he said nothing had, and then after asking again he said that he had relieved himself in the school playground.

Cue snigger from mummy – oops! Shouldn’t have laughed, sorry.

Now, he must have been absolutely desperate to (a) go and (b) not wet himself.

Cue talk with teacher. Who very kindly explained what had happened.

SC had obviously taken himself off somewhere quiet to take the call of nature. Unfortunately, he happened to choose behind the statue of the Virgin Mary – did I forget to mention he goes to Catholic school. Serious big OOPS!

One thing I would like to point out is that SC doesn’t stand to urinate, so let’s be thankful for that shall we?

Now, normal sane people like you or I, obviously mortified on behalf of their child,ย would then (and I did) say that he obviously just wanted to go out-of-the-way, and didn’t know where he was, as he was that desperate.

It was insinuated that the headmistress thought it was a deliberate act of defamation.

Oh dear God! He’s 5!

In fact the way it was reported to me, I actually said (mouth engaged before brain) “Oh no!ย she must think it’s because he’s not Catholic!”

To be fair, his teacher was on the same wavelength as me and said that she’d said the same thing to the head about the desperation.

Now, I’m not excusing either what he did, or where he did it, but questions must be asked as to why children feel they cannot ask to go the toilet. They are still at an age when they do leave it until the very last-minute before deciding they had better go. Having spoken to other parents, he is not the only one who feels they cannot go!

Why did he have to choose the statue though?

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