Tag Archives: mr perfect

Is perfection ever attainable?

I only ask, because the other day I overheard a window cleaner saying to his mate that “the perfect woman doesn’t exist!”

And how many times are women heard bemoaning the fact that the perfect man isn’t out there either?

Are we all actually just striving for something that, in the end, doesn’t exist?

Who decides what makes a perfect man/woman?

We all know the sterotypes that are thrust upon us via various mediums – tall, dark, brooding and handsome men, and stick thin women, with perfect hair and skin, or blonde, blue-eyed with big …!

And as children, fairytales are all very well and good, but do women ever get the literary knight in shining armour who will fight to the death for her, and likewise do men get the beautiful perfect princess?

With the opposite sex put on extremely high pedestals for us, is it any wonder that after searching for perfection we seem to just give up, or settle and then bemoan our not-so-perfect partners’ foibles!

But would perfection be in fact perfect?

After all, if you had the stick-thin, perfect haired model could you put up with her eating nothing, except maybe the odd bit of tissue paper, and smoking like a chimney to stave off the hunger pangs, or if she did eat, hold her hair for her whilst she made herself sick out of guilt that she may have just eaten something that would put on an ounce?

Or if you had the dark, brooding handsome type, would it get a bit too boring with all that brooding and not any mental action?

And because we are all seem to be striving to find the ‘perfect’ partner, when we hit a curve in the road, or a not-so-perfect one time after time, the pedestal starts wavering and then tottering and then falls over and smashes on to the ground leaving us feeling that we are not worthy of that ‘perfect’ love because of all the hurt we have endured and that all members of the opposite sex are bar stewards/b**ches ** [** delete as appropriate]

And once we fall into the trap of believing in the stereotype, i.e., all members of the opposite sex are…, that apparently is a rut we stay in until we snap ourselves out of it. So every potential partner we meet, instead of seeing the good, our subconscious tells us that it will all end badly and therefore we get what we deserve. Our words, thoughts and feelings form our realities, as they say

I have been in this rut for so many years I have lost count – previous encounters left me feeling that I am unworthy of being loved, therefore with each new encounter I try too hard and end up constantly being treated like a doormat with no feelings. That is my failing, no one else’s. My experience has led me to fall into the belief that all men will walk all over me, and consequently that is what has happened. I need to realise that it is not true of all men, there are some good ones out there … somewhere, and that I need to treat any new encounter as just that. A new encounter – with no hang-ups about Mr Wrongs past.

Everyone is worthy of being loved for who they are, even me, and everyone deserves to be respected for who they are.

We are all individuals, each uniquely different, with amazing qualities if we care to look beneath the surface.

Maybe we need to smash the ‘perfect man/woman’ ideal and become more flexible in our perception of perfection, then we will be able to find that there is a perfect someone out there for all of us?

Leave a comment

Filed under life

The Perfect Man!

Tall, dark, handsome?

Well according to new research there is a definitive list of 30 qualities to determine whether a man be perfect or not.

Before we get on to the list, the research was conducted by Austin Reed, the clothing store and they surveyed 2000 women to determine what qualities make up the perfect man.

That’s right – just 2000 women! Really?

And from this teeny percentage of half the world’s population we are supposed to believe that the qualities those surveyed have come up with represent those nearly all of us desire in a man?

Um? OK, so let’s go through the list, shall we?

  1. 6ft tall – at least in my case, since when I wear heels I am 6ft! For me a good height would be at least 6ft 2.
  2. Muscly, toned and athletic – OK there’s muscly and muscly. My preference is that well toned muscle is good, Arnie sized pecks are not. So someone who looks after their body, but not to the extreme.
  3. Brown eyes – mmm, considering my previous disasters have all been with blue-eyed boys, maybe I’ll give Mr Brown-Eyes a shot next time, but it’s not a deal-breaker or even that important 😉
  4. Short, dark hair – short hair, a definite, but does colour really matter? I’m not convinced on this one – after all there’s something about Damien Lewis!
  5. Smart dress sense – I think this depends on the individual woman involved. After all a smart dress sense to a woman who is into the eco-ethnic-tribal lifestyle could mean dreadlocks, hemp trousers and sandals, not a city suit!
  6. Stylish – Are you seriously trying to tell me that smart dress sense and stylish are 2 separate categories? Surely, they come under the same heading and therefore cannot possibly be separated. After all, if a man, or woman is stylish then they automatically tend to have a smart dress sense. It goes without saying!
  7. A beer or lager drinker – is this really a woman’s top criteria in Mr Perfect. Certainly not mine. I don’t drink, but that doesn’t mean to say my Mr Perfect has to be a teetotaler. My Mr Perfect can drink what he likes as long as he (a) doesn’t think all his answers lie at the bottom of a pint glass, (b) doesn’t think that life is about getting plastered every weekend and (c) really doesn’t mind that I don’t drink!
  8. A non-smoker – but what if the woman smokes? Surely that is a bit hypocritical to say that Mr Perfect cannot partake in the odd ciggie but it’s OK for Fag-Ash Lil? A definite yes for me though. I don’t smoke for the record. Filthy, disgusting habit. Glad pubs are now non-smoking as I hated smelling like an ashtray after being in one – in the dim distant past when I had a so-called social life 😉
  9. Wears smart jeans, shirt and a v-necked jumper – Really, again is this an absolute separate point – doesn’t this just tag under stylish with smart dress sense. But if we must discuss this point, I’m all for the David Duchovny, all-American, preppy college boy look.
  10. Gets ready in 17 minutes – considering it takes most females all day to get ready isn’t this a bit hypocritical? Actually, once I’m showered (I love long, hot showers, it’s my thinking space, but you know that already 😉 ) I can pretty much get dressed, hair & make-up within 15 minutes!
  11. Earns around £48k a year!!!!!
  12. Wants a family – pretty sure this is one for every female out there – who doesn’t want a man who wants a family. We all have dreams of playing happy families, 2.4 children, with a father who actually interacts with them and gets up in the middle of the night (occasionally) and at the weekend pays his children attention rather than just watching the BBC news channel all day with his head in the paper, trying to look all high-brow! (Seriously, how often does the news change?)
  13. Loves shopping – again, really? I think I’d be slightly worried if my Mr Perfect liked shopping as much, or more than I did.
  14. Eats meat – obviously going for the caveman characteristic here. Like brown hair does it really matter. I’m a vegetarian – I really don’t like meat. I have no problems cooking it, just don’t want to eat it. So for me, it’s not really a big ask on my criteria for Mr Perfect. My criteria would be, as long as he doesn’t mind me being a vegetarian he can eat what he likes! Previous disasters always harped on about me not eating meat. Get over it!!!
  15. Watches soaps – who were these women that were surveyed. Really? You seriously want Mr Perfect to be into soaps? So you can have a deep and meaningful conversation about whether Phill Mitchell and Terry Duckworth should get together and rule the underworld? I don’t watch soaps. used to, don’t have time any more. I’d rather Mr Perfect be able to hold a conversation about interesting things, thank you, not blather on about mindless drivel.
  16. Clean shaven – having been out with someone who had a beard (and no, it wasn’t me) it’s not really a big issue.
  17. Smooth-chested – not high up on my list, wouldn’t even make it! I would rather have someone kind and thoughtful.
  18. Enjoys watching football – just football or does this criteria apply to any sport? But again, is it really a deal-breaker?  No! If Mr Perfect enjoys sport fine, if not, equally fine. Just as long as he doesn’t mind me watching Formula 1!
  19. Drives an Audi – Seriously?
  20. Educated to degree level – slightly elitist here aren’t we? Just because someone hasn’t been to uni, does not make them less than perfect. And what about flipping it over to women. Does this mean that men would prefer a woman to be degree educated, or not? Surely, and I’m going all stereotypical now so apologies in advance, blonde-haired, left-school-at-sixteen-without-any-gcses hairdresser would have about as much in common with Eton and Cambridge educated high-flying city lawyer as bum-crack-showing builder with Oxford-educated heart specialist female. Extremes I know, and probably a point not very well made, but surely finding Mr Perfect is about finding the person you fit best with, like a jigsaw puzzle? I’m not saying that extreme examples wouldn’t get on, but could they seriously be ‘perfect’?
  21. Earns more than you – definite plus – been out with someone who didn’t, and he did not like it one jot, always tried to make himself look better at the expense of me! There is a word to describe him, but I’m far too polite to use it 😉
  22. Jokes around and has a laugh – mm, there’s joking and joking. Having a sense of humour and can make me smile, would probably have been a better criteria. After all who wants Mr Perfect if their definition of joking around and having a laugh involves them behaving like a 16 year old … at 40???
  23. Sensitive when you are upset – who wouldn’t want this, along with being kind and thoughtful?
  24. Tells you he loves you only when he means it – see point above – I’m an old cynic I know, maybe if I found Mr Perfect for me I’d change my mind, but past experience has taught me otherwise!
  25. Admits it when he looks at other women – and these women seriously want us to believe that they would be OK with this and not get teary and jealous and say “you don’t love me any more!”. I’m happy for a bloke to say he likes the look of another woman, as long as he doesn’t mind when the boot is on the other foot and I see a bloke who looks rather attractive. After all, there’s no harm in window shopping as long as you don’t open your purse!!
  26. Holds a driving licence – I’d want to know why if he didn’t. After all who doesn’t these days? But surely, if we’re talking Mr Perfect it should be a pilots licence?
  27. Can swim – average IQ of the women surveyed please?
  28. Can ride a bike – see above, unless you mean a motorbike!
  29. Can change a tyre – handy. Even handier would be to be on hand to put the jack under the care and be able to unscrew the wheel nuts, they’re always on so tight, once they’re done I can change the tyre myself 🙂
  30. Rings his mother regularly – as long as he doesn’t mind if I ring mine 😉

So there you have it, 30 points to tell what to look for in order to find Mr Perfect!

I’m off to have a little think and come back with what I want in Mr Perfect 😉 I reckon I can get it into a Top 10!

Leave a comment

Filed under life