“My good opinion, once lost, is lost forever!”
“That is indeed a failing.”
Possibly one of the more memorable quotes from classic literature from Pride & Prejudice and, of course it means I get an excuse to put a picture of Colin Firth as the gorgeous Mr Darcy on the blog.
But seriously, is it indeed a failing, if your good opinion about something, or someone, is lost and you find it hard to change your mind back again, for want of a better expression?
Let’s take, brussel sprouts, for example. To be honest I actually love them – could quite happily eat a plate with nothing else – in fact I did just that one Christmas…
But obviously for many they are, quite clearly, the food of the devil, vile, little green balls that are like bullets and taste disgusting.
How many people who do not like brussel sprouts, would try them and be honest enough to say, if they did, that they were not too bad – I know that’s going off into the realms of total fantasy, but for the purpose of this exercise is it a failing that they have a bad opinion about brussel sprouts, or is it a failing they may not try them, or is it not actually a failing at all, but merely a case of personal taste being different?
After all we are all different. We cannot all like the same things or indeed have the same opinions about topics like football, politics, who the most beautiful man/woman is in the world, etc.
But that’s things, and in my ‘opinion’ a totally different kettle of fish to people.
If someone betrays your confidence by blabbing your secrets, or the person who said they never wanted to hurt you did just that, or a person pretends to be all sweetness and light to you when all the time they are whispering behind your back is it a failing to not trust that person again?
I don’t trust people easily any more.
And I’m sad that I feel I can’t trust easily any more.
Does that mean I’m a bad person for being cautious about who I confide in after my confidences have been spread around for no more than malicious enjoyment?
Does that mean I’m a bad person for never wanting to trust a man again after all the times I’ve been lied to, let down, used and left heartbroken?
Is it indeed a failing in my psychological make-up that once someone has betrayed me, lost my trust or hurt my feelings that I find it hard to forget?
I can forgive, because that brings my own peace of mind – they know why they did what they did, I can’t change that (no matter how much sometimes I wish I could) – but by forgiving them for hurting me and ensuring another brick gets put up around me I can at least find peace within myself.
I wouldn’t say it was a failing though, because at the end of the day by being cautious about who I trust in the future I am protecting myself – it’s not a foolproof method, but at least I hope it will not make the sting too painful.
And when it comes to football, politics and other such contentious issues I can only quote another famous line from literature “I suggest you stick to two subjects – the weather and everyone’s health!”