Tag Archives: love

Lessons I’ve Learned in 2016

snoopyDo I start off with a reflective, thoughtfully written paragraph?

No, let’s dive straight in – so here are the 10 lessons I have learned over the last year:

10.  NEVER put a mixture of grapeseed and jojoba oil on your hair – it’s a b***er to get out.

Why did I do this crazy thing? Vanity, pure vanity. I have never been blessed with thick, voluminous, lustrous locks. My hair is baby fine and there has never been much of it. I have it trimmed regularly, but still, sometimes looks like 9 strands of hair…literally.

So I did what any other vain person would do and searched Doctor Google for some advice on how to naturally thicken one’s hair. And this seemed liked a reasonable suggestion. Just gently massage the mixture onto your scalp for 5 minutes and then wash off using a mild shampoo.

Well, the first bit worked, the massage was very therapeutic and mildly relaxing. But, did the darn oil wash off? No sir, it did not. I washed my hair twice and it still felt like an oil slick. Gross! Once it had dried, it did feel silky smooth, that did not last. By the end of the day it looked like I hadn’t washed my hair for a month. Solution, wash hair with baking soda and then wash hair with shampoo – that seemed to do the trick.

Lesson learned – don’t be so b***dy vain, and just use hairpieces like everyone else! (I’ve got a fab blonde long, curly wig I’m dying to try out. Will my IQ go down though once I put it on?)

9.  EGGS are great as a beauty treatment, just don’t eat them.

I’ve posted previously about the wonders of an egg-white face mask – and yes, I’m still slopping the egg-white on my face on a regular basis.

However, this was the year that eggs decided to give me up!

You know as you get older that your tastes change and things you used to like, no longer do it for you? Sometimes, as in my case, the food in question decided it did not like me any more. Without going into too much detail, I found that I now cannot eat eggs – or rather I can but then regret it!

Lesson learned – just stick to having egg on my face and don’t buy any chickens in the near future!

8.  FLYING SOLO IS FUN

This year, I grabbed the bull by the horns and decided to strike out on my own. S*d the fact that I had no one to go with, I bravely bit the bullet and went to places I never thought I would ever go to. And yes, I went on my own – or rather I was accompanied by a good book – and had the most splendid of times.

I knocked 2 items off the bucket list – I had afternoon tea at The Ritz and lunch at The Ivy and went to numerous plays/musicals in the West End all by myself.

Yes, you get stared at – I just buried my head a little deeper into the book and ignored, and yes I was shoved away in a corner )Ritz) and not really afforded the same attention (Ivy) as someone who had companionship at the table – but I had the most wonderful time.

I met some lovely people at the theatre and saw some fabulous productions.

Next year a spa day beckons – need another crystal healing session – and I might check out a few art galleries.

Lesson learned – don’t be afraid of doing things on your own.

7.  TRAMPOLINING is fun and very good exercise.

There are trampoline parks springing up all over the place. Forget Zumba, Ballet Fitness or Yoga, it appears “bouncing to get fit” is the new exercise fad.

I took SC to one of these trampoline parks and it was super fun. After an hour you certainly feel the burn, even if you do nothing more than bounce. You also leave with a tremendous grin on your face.

It’s also extremely good for your pelvic floor muscles. After having SC, my pelvic floor is not what it used to be. Let’s just say, trampolining certainly gives them a good work-out!!!

Lesson learned – having fun keeps you young.

6. I CAN or I’ll give it a darned good try at the very least.

I have started a couple of projects this year, that I have been um-ing and ah-ing about for a good few years. Finally, I decided that I should just do it – to coin a phrase. After all, what’s the very worst that could happen? Yes, I know, I could fall flat on my face, but at least I would have the satisfaction of knowing that I tried.

The 1st project is going well and the 2nd project after a bit of a shaky start is beginning to gather momentum, so hopefully, cross fingers, it will be onwards and upwards for both of them.

Lesson learned – don’t dither, just do it!

5.  CARROT CAKE and catch-ups are the best thing ever.

My best friend moved back overseas in September, and the one thing I really miss is our regular carrot cake and catch-up sessions.

Lesson learned – don’t underestimate the power of carrot cake!

4.  I AM WORTHY!

I worked out a long time ago that clearly, I am just not the right girl for anyone. And I’m happy with that. Me, myself and I (after a rough start) get on very well now and I don’t need anyone to make me feel happy or complete (if that makes sense?).

I’ve had my share of being treated badly, shall we say – an option, a replacement, a stand-by, a joke, etc.

I finally know my value. I may be quirky, weird, geeky, lanky, but I am deserving of something real, something true and something better.

I am strong enough now to realise that I am worth the effort of climbing to the top of the tree.

Lesson learned – I believe in actions not words.

3.  SMILE everyday.

No matter what, just smile. Like the song goes, “smile, though your heart is aching!”

Life is better when you smile.

Smiles, like laughter, are infectious, and your smile may make someone else’s day.

Lesson learned – smiling makes you feel better.

2.  GRAB OPPORTUNITIES by the proverbials.

Life sends us opportunities every day. We just need to open our eyes to find them.

When you are sent an opportunity, embrace it and make the most of it. It may lead to bigger and better things.

Lesson learned – be grateful for everything life throws your way.

1. LIFE IS AMAZING!

Every day is a blessing, no matter what the day holds for you.

Don’t worry about what other people think, do what makes you happy. What is the point of doing stuff that makes you miserable?

Life may not always work out the way we want, it will always hold surprises – good, bad or otherwise – and those little blips will either lead us onto better things, teach us what we need to know or just be something to brush off.

There will always be some upset, but at the end of the day that’s life, it’s never going to be plain sailing.

We have 86,400 seconds every day to live life to the fullest, so don’t waste them.

Lesson learned – to wake up every morning and feel grateful and blessed for another chance.

 

What have you learned this year?

Happy New Year everyone

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Friday Poem – I Believe

i-believeBrowsing through the Top 500 poems list, looking for a suitable poem for today, I stumbled across this truly wonderful poem by Sienna Harlequinn.

Her name is all I could find out. But the poem speaks volumes and pretty much sums up my philosophy on life.

So, enjoy it:

I BELIEVE

I believe that the sun shines after the rain
I believe if you don’t get hurt you’ll never gain
I believe in not doing things the easy way
I believe that being selfish doesn’t pay

I believe in a second chance
I believe in a life long romance
I believe there is life after death
And standing up to a life of mess

I believe in love at first sight
I believe that revenge isn’t right
I believe that first impressions last
And there is nothing better then a good laugh

I believe that dreams do come true
I believe there’s destiny for me and you
I believe that good things come to those who wait
I believe love never arrives too late

I believe something good comes from something bad
I believe that for tears of happiness there are tears of sad
I believe everyone has a guardian angel
And the good you do will be rewarded well

I believe sometimes there is no explanation
I believe money can’t buy people’s affection
I believe you don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone
I believe a new day arrives with every dawn

I believe a smile can be contagious
I believe in being very outrageous
I believe in living with no regrets
I believe that life is as good as it gets

I believe that God watches over us
I believe the little things are worth the fuss
I believe you have each friend for a reason
I believe you will get punished for treason

I believe that what comes first is family
I believe we should all live in harmony
I believe in making the most of a beautiful day
And it’s not the end until everything’s okay

I believe absence makes the heart grow fonder
I believe you will lose if you sit and wonder
I believe every experience teaches you a lesson
And nothing cures better then a drinking session

I believe everyone has one true love
I believe sometimes we need a little shove
I believe the whole world is a stage
I believe we only get better with age

I believe that to learn you have to live
I believe that to love someone you have to give
I believe one moment can change your life
And there’s still help when you’re in strife

I believe everyone has one true friend
I believe love helps a broken heart mend
I believe in the power of a song
And things will change before too long

I believe living is the best experience
I believe in not laughing at other people’s expense
I believe it’s hard to watch a lover leave
And when they’re gone all you can do is breath

I believe to always look on the bright side
I believe that life is just one big ride
I believe when I die people will grieve
But it’s ok because I believe

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A-Z of Life – Insecurities

insecuritiesThose little niggles that we all get that we are not good enough, or we’ve done something wrong but we don’t know what (or is that just me?).

Those little worries that just sit there quietly eating away at all the other thoughts in your head.

Until they grow so large they are all you can think of and not only that but they are completely true and you aren’t good enough, and it’s always your fault.

Annoying, aren’t they?

But how do you conquer those little niggling doubts inside your head?

Is it possible?

More importantly though, do you want to?

Personally, I think that if you want to get rid of them, it’s most definitely possible. After all, as Buddha said:

What you think, you become.

What you feel, you attract.

What you imagine, you create.

So, if all you can think and dwell on are insecurities, the wrongs people have done you, etc, etc, etc, then all you attract is more of the bad stuff and none of the good stuff.

But how do you change?

Well, it’s not easy, but it does all start with that very question.

If you know you want things to change, and you know you have to change in order to make that happen, then believe me, you are on the road there.

I have come full circle.

When I was little no one was ever going to beat me – at anything.

And then life happened and I let life beat me. I let everything else control me, but me. I clammed up and hid. I was totally afraid to show any feelings, I was never good enough for anyone, I was never good at anything and even if I showed any hint there was always someone only too willing to slap me back down into my place again.

I spent the best part of my life being afraid.

But then, a couple of years ago I had an epiphany.

It wasn’t one of those Damascene (?) epiphanies, more a case of a culmination of a whole heap of crap (for want of a better word) and me saying “STOP! I’ve had it!”

I knew I couldn’t change other people, but I sure as hell could change myself and how I reacted to certain situations.

Since reading is what I do best, I read and read anything I could get my hands on regarding personal development and changing perspectives. I’ve read about chimps, psychopaths, the universe, gratitude, psychic vibrations, etc. Some brilliant, some good and some not so good.

Little by little I managed to chip away at those in-built insecurities that had been a permanent fixture in my head for more years than I care to remember.

And you know what?

I’ve come to like myself again. I may not be to everyone’s cup of tea, but I’m mine.

I’ve realised that I have a right to be here, just as much as anyone else, and I don’t need to excuse my presence to anyone, especially not me.

What ever happened in the past is exactly where it needs to stay. Firmly in the past. I have learned from everything that has happened to try to make myself a better human being. By forgiving others and equally forgiving myself has lifted that feeling of eternal guilt that I am always in the wrong.

I am responsible for my own happiness, no one else is.

I have learned that I cannot control anything else apart from my actions – and if truth be told, that’s quite a scary one to learn, especially as I don’t like the feeling of uncertainty – but I take a deep breath and enjoy those opportunities and curve balls. After all the fun is in the journey.

I have learned that worrying doesn’t solve anything. It actually makes things worse. By worrying we create problems out of nothing. And going back to Buddha if we are feeling worried, insecure and not in a good place nothing good will come into our lives.

They’ll never completely go away, the fear and insecurities, but by flipping my thinking I have now learned that they are merely opportunities in disguise. A further chance for me grow by casting the ghosts of insecurities past aside and simply trusting.

Never mind Peter Pan saying “to die will be an awfully big adventure”, living is the biggest adventure of all.

Life is amazing.

Life can be wonderful, if we just stop worrying, start trusting, start believing and more importantly love.

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Friday Poem – Wasted Tears

tearsA truly beautiful poem by a poet called Tiger Lily Love.

When I read it, it struck so many chords. I have shed these tears in the poem and only now can I see that they were wasted.

I shed tears over things that weren’t my fault, yet I was made to feel as if they were.

I shed tears over what I thought was a lost love, only to realise looking back that it was never that in the first place.

All those tears and all that blaming myself and beating myself up was just a waste of time.

It has taken time but I have finally let go of all the misery just as the poem says.

I (like everyone else on this planet) deserve to be here, deserve to be loved for who I am (a bookish geek with a kind heart), deserve to be treated properly and not like an option (I am a destination not a stop along the way).

I create my own happiness and I enjoy life and whatever it throws at me.

So, here is the poem…

Wasted Tears

At the height of my hysteria
While I was yet again choking on my tears

I realized just how many tears
I’ve shed for all of you
Over the years

Wasted is how I view them
Because wasted is what they are

And each tear plummeted down my face
It left behind a never fading scar

My precious tears none of you deserved
And the satisfaction of knowing I’ve shed then
Is what you’ve gained

But none of you care in the least
That shedding those tears
cruelly caused me so much pain

So I dry my eyes for the last time
And I hope you enjoyed that last show

Because I’m done wasting my tears on you
And am letting you-
And all of the misery
Go

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Love is … like an exam!

examExcept there’s no revision needed for the first sitting, thankfully, however, it’s one of the those where you can re-sit and hopefully get better until you get the grade you want 😉

Sometimes the problems are easy – in which case you answer and move on swiftly to the next one.

Sometimes the problem is a multiple choice – always tricky, and it’s not for nothing it’s called multiple guess!!!

If you seriously have no clue from the options, just take your pick.  Word of warning though, you can’t go back and change your mind after!

If you know the answer, then go for it and delete all the other options from the list.

Sometimes the problem is a little bit more tricky and requires a lot more thought.

My headmaster always said if you’re faced with a tricky problem  in an exam move on to the next and go back when you’ve finished the paper – unfortunately though life is not quite that simple.

So with a tricky problem you have 2 choices.

You can either move on to the next problem, but there is no going back – you have to keep moving forward – and if you find yourself wishing you could, sorry, no can do. You made your choice.

Or you can work on the problem until it is solved and feel satisfied that you tried.

As for me, I think this is one exam I will never, ever pass.

Far too tricky for me, so I’ll just sit quietly at the top of my tree admiring the view 😉

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Love is … like dancing

danceThere’s passion, there’s feeling and there’s rhythm!

Sometimes you get asked to dance a social foxtrot – it’s friendly and fun, but boy it gets tedious after a while – the rhythm and the steps never change and there’s no passion.

Sometimes you join in to a samba beat – plenty of rhythm, plenty of passion but it’s over before you really get a chance to enjoy it.

Occasionally you get to join the hip-hop/street crew and that’s totally disjointed, difficult to understand and painful!

Ballet is beautiful, lyrical, passionate and totally mesmerising, but it can be wooden, fake and very painful.

Of all the dances my favourite is the rumba – it takes it time to warm up but there’s passion a-plenty, rhythm, feeling, tenderness and sensuality – I just hate it when that dance ends!!

But after each dance we always learn what we do and don’t like in order to become better dancers the next time we get asked 😉

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Friday Poem – If You Forget Me

A beautiful poem by the Chilean poet Pablo Neruda (1904-1973)Fire

If You Forget Me

I want you to know
one thing.

You know how this is:
if I look
at the crystal moon, at the red branch
of the slow autumn at my window,
if I touch
near the fire
the impalpable ash
or the wrinkled body of the log,
everything carries me to you,
as if everything that exists,
aromas, light, metals,
were little boats
that sail
toward those isles of yours that wait for me.

Well, now,
if little by little you stop loving me
I shall stop loving you little by little.

If suddenly
you forget me
do not look for me,
for I shall already have forgotten you.

If you think it long and mad,
the wind of banners
that passes through my life,
and you decide
to leave me at the shore
of the heart where I have roots,
remember
that on that day,
at that hour,
I shall lift my arms
and my roots will set off
to seek another land.

But
if each day,
each hour,
you feel that you are destined for me
with implacable sweetness,
if each day a flower
climbs up to your lips to seek me,
ah my love, ah my own,
in me all that fire is repeated,
in me nothing is extinguished or forgotten,
my love feeds on your love, beloved,
and as long as you live it will be in your arms
without leaving mine.

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Love is … like a car crash!

car crash

Sometimes it’s just the merest bump and you walk away unscathed with your insurance in tact.

Sometimes one vehicle is crushed more than the other. So whilst one walks away scot-free, the other is left to recover, recuperate and work out what the hell happened!

Sometimes both vehicles are written-off. In which case there is nothing that can be done, but try to build up your confidence to get back in the damn car again!

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A-Z of Life – Motivation

This is a re-blog of one of my A-Z of Life posts – maybe I’ll reblog some more 😉

The encouragement to keep going.fear

The drive to win.

The imagination to dream.

The determination to succeed.

The desire to change.

The wish to fulfil your dreams.

The hunger for knowledge.

The kick up the backside.

The incentive to start.

Whatever, our wishes, dreams, desires or plans we all need a spark of motivation to set off that chain of reactions.

Be it to earn more money, move house, try a new hobby, write that best-selling novel, etc., we all need to find that get up and go to get off our backsides and just do it (to coin a phrase – thanks Nike).

Take me, for example.

I have a folder that I started when I was 17, full of ideas I had for businesses and things I wanted to do.

20-odd years later, it’s still there, untouched, and some small part of me wishes I shouldn’t have left it so long.

Some ideas have been done, successfully by other people, and I think, “that could have been me!” But I was scared of trying.

Self-motivation is very difficult, especially when you let all the monsters of your past still silently dictate and belittle you. You pause before starting and still hear their voices saying that you aren’t good enough, you aren’t clever, you won’t amount to much, you’re a failure, you’re a loser, etc.

I have done that, and it’s very difficult to try to fight these demons alone, because over the years all the taunts, jibes and digs taught me to hate myself, and believe that all the things they threw at me were true.

At the end of the day you are the only person who can change your life and follow your dreams. It’s like dieting – you know you need to lose weight and keep fit, but unless you actually do something about it nothing will change.

It’s taken me a long time to exorcise the demons of long ago and I keep a very positive frame of mind these days. I am happy with where I am and have the desire to improve myself and dreams to fulfill. But there are occasional days when I still panic and think I can’t, and that’s another day lost because of actions of ghosts that haunt me from time gone by.

When you are on your own though, you are the only person who can kick yourself into motion, and you have to keep yourself going to the bitter end, be it failure or success.

And however hard you try to stay positive and rev up that get up and go, sometimes you wish you could have someone else to give you a gentle nudge and whisper “It’s OK, I’m here. Don’t worry – you’ll knock ’em dead!”

So, for anyone who may need a bit of a gentle nudge in the motivation department today, here you go:-

YOU ARE AMAZING! YOU CAN DO ANYTHING YOU SET YOUR MIND TO!

NOW GO GET ‘EM 😉

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Love is the answer!

loveIt’s always the answer.

From Elsa thawing Anna in Frozen to the endings of all those chick-lit novels and rom-com movies.

Love always wins and conquers everything.

So, maybe the answer to all the problems of the world lie in one simple word … LOVE!

Rather than seeing differences why can’t we learn to embrace the similarities we all share?

We all want to be loved, to be felt worthy, to be felt important and that we matter – whether it’s in our personal lives, relationships, jobs, community or anything else.

Love wins over hate, indifference, despair, etc. every time.

But we have to love ourselves first and foremost.

If we love who we are, then the world will see our light and reflect it back onto us. We can then, in turn shine our light on other people, to light their world.

After all, according to a Japanese book on Buddhism called “The Teaching of Buddha” – “Thousands of candles can be lighted from a single candle, and the life of the single candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared.”

So what have we got to lose? We have nothing to lose and a whole lot to gain 😉

 

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