Tag Archives: life lessons

Lessons I’ve Learned in 2016

snoopyDo I start off with a reflective, thoughtfully written paragraph?

No, let’s dive straight in – so here are the 10 lessons I have learned over the last year:

10.  NEVER put a mixture of grapeseed and jojoba oil on your hair – it’s a b***er to get out.

Why did I do this crazy thing? Vanity, pure vanity. I have never been blessed with thick, voluminous, lustrous locks. My hair is baby fine and there has never been much of it. I have it trimmed regularly, but still, sometimes looks like 9 strands of hair…literally.

So I did what any other vain person would do and searched Doctor Google for some advice on how to naturally thicken one’s hair. And this seemed liked a reasonable suggestion. Just gently massage the mixture onto your scalp for 5 minutes and then wash off using a mild shampoo.

Well, the first bit worked, the massage was very therapeutic and mildly relaxing. But, did the darn oil wash off? No sir, it did not. I washed my hair twice and it still felt like an oil slick. Gross! Once it had dried, it did feel silky smooth, that did not last. By the end of the day it looked like I hadn’t washed my hair for a month. Solution, wash hair with baking soda and then wash hair with shampoo – that seemed to do the trick.

Lesson learned – don’t be so b***dy vain, and just use hairpieces like everyone else! (I’ve got a fab blonde long, curly wig I’m dying to try out. Will my IQ go down though once I put it on?)

9.  EGGS are great as a beauty treatment, just don’t eat them.

I’ve posted previously about the wonders of an egg-white face mask – and yes, I’m still slopping the egg-white on my face on a regular basis.

However, this was the year that eggs decided to give me up!

You know as you get older that your tastes change and things you used to like, no longer do it for you? Sometimes, as in my case, the food in question decided it did not like me any more. Without going into too much detail, I found that I now cannot eat eggs – or rather I can but then regret it!

Lesson learned – just stick to having egg on my face and don’t buy any chickens in the near future!

8.  FLYING SOLO IS FUN

This year, I grabbed the bull by the horns and decided to strike out on my own. S*d the fact that I had no one to go with, I bravely bit the bullet and went to places I never thought I would ever go to. And yes, I went on my own – or rather I was accompanied by a good book – and had the most splendid of times.

I knocked 2 items off the bucket list – I had afternoon tea at The Ritz and lunch at The Ivy and went to numerous plays/musicals in the West End all by myself.

Yes, you get stared at – I just buried my head a little deeper into the book and ignored, and yes I was shoved away in a corner )Ritz) and not really afforded the same attention (Ivy) as someone who had companionship at the table – but I had the most wonderful time.

I met some lovely people at the theatre and saw some fabulous productions.

Next year a spa day beckons – need another crystal healing session – and I might check out a few art galleries.

Lesson learned – don’t be afraid of doing things on your own.

7.  TRAMPOLINING is fun and very good exercise.

There are trampoline parks springing up all over the place. Forget Zumba, Ballet Fitness or Yoga, it appears “bouncing to get fit” is the new exercise fad.

I took SC to one of these trampoline parks and it was super fun. After an hour you certainly feel the burn, even if you do nothing more than bounce. You also leave with a tremendous grin on your face.

It’s also extremely good for your pelvic floor muscles. After having SC, my pelvic floor is not what it used to be. Let’s just say, trampolining certainly gives them a good work-out!!!

Lesson learned – having fun keeps you young.

6. I CAN or I’ll give it a darned good try at the very least.

I have started a couple of projects this year, that I have been um-ing and ah-ing about for a good few years. Finally, I decided that I should just do it – to coin a phrase. After all, what’s the very worst that could happen? Yes, I know, I could fall flat on my face, but at least I would have the satisfaction of knowing that I tried.

The 1st project is going well and the 2nd project after a bit of a shaky start is beginning to gather momentum, so hopefully, cross fingers, it will be onwards and upwards for both of them.

Lesson learned – don’t dither, just do it!

5.  CARROT CAKE and catch-ups are the best thing ever.

My best friend moved back overseas in September, and the one thing I really miss is our regular carrot cake and catch-up sessions.

Lesson learned – don’t underestimate the power of carrot cake!

4.  I AM WORTHY!

I worked out a long time ago that clearly, I am just not the right girl for anyone. And I’m happy with that. Me, myself and I (after a rough start) get on very well now and I don’t need anyone to make me feel happy or complete (if that makes sense?).

I’ve had my share of being treated badly, shall we say – an option, a replacement, a stand-by, a joke, etc.

I finally know my value. I may be quirky, weird, geeky, lanky, but I am deserving of something real, something true and something better.

I am strong enough now to realise that I am worth the effort of climbing to the top of the tree.

Lesson learned – I believe in actions not words.

3.  SMILE everyday.

No matter what, just smile. Like the song goes, “smile, though your heart is aching!”

Life is better when you smile.

Smiles, like laughter, are infectious, and your smile may make someone else’s day.

Lesson learned – smiling makes you feel better.

2.  GRAB OPPORTUNITIES by the proverbials.

Life sends us opportunities every day. We just need to open our eyes to find them.

When you are sent an opportunity, embrace it and make the most of it. It may lead to bigger and better things.

Lesson learned – be grateful for everything life throws your way.

1. LIFE IS AMAZING!

Every day is a blessing, no matter what the day holds for you.

Don’t worry about what other people think, do what makes you happy. What is the point of doing stuff that makes you miserable?

Life may not always work out the way we want, it will always hold surprises – good, bad or otherwise – and those little blips will either lead us onto better things, teach us what we need to know or just be something to brush off.

There will always be some upset, but at the end of the day that’s life, it’s never going to be plain sailing.

We have 86,400 seconds every day to live life to the fullest, so don’t waste them.

Lesson learned – to wake up every morning and feel grateful and blessed for another chance.

 

What have you learned this year?

Happy New Year everyone

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Friday Poem – I Believe

i-believeBrowsing through the Top 500 poems list, looking for a suitable poem for today, I stumbled across this truly wonderful poem by Sienna Harlequinn.

Her name is all I could find out. But the poem speaks volumes and pretty much sums up my philosophy on life.

So, enjoy it:

I BELIEVE

I believe that the sun shines after the rain
I believe if you don’t get hurt you’ll never gain
I believe in not doing things the easy way
I believe that being selfish doesn’t pay

I believe in a second chance
I believe in a life long romance
I believe there is life after death
And standing up to a life of mess

I believe in love at first sight
I believe that revenge isn’t right
I believe that first impressions last
And there is nothing better then a good laugh

I believe that dreams do come true
I believe there’s destiny for me and you
I believe that good things come to those who wait
I believe love never arrives too late

I believe something good comes from something bad
I believe that for tears of happiness there are tears of sad
I believe everyone has a guardian angel
And the good you do will be rewarded well

I believe sometimes there is no explanation
I believe money can’t buy people’s affection
I believe you don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone
I believe a new day arrives with every dawn

I believe a smile can be contagious
I believe in being very outrageous
I believe in living with no regrets
I believe that life is as good as it gets

I believe that God watches over us
I believe the little things are worth the fuss
I believe you have each friend for a reason
I believe you will get punished for treason

I believe that what comes first is family
I believe we should all live in harmony
I believe in making the most of a beautiful day
And it’s not the end until everything’s okay

I believe absence makes the heart grow fonder
I believe you will lose if you sit and wonder
I believe every experience teaches you a lesson
And nothing cures better then a drinking session

I believe everyone has one true love
I believe sometimes we need a little shove
I believe the whole world is a stage
I believe we only get better with age

I believe that to learn you have to live
I believe that to love someone you have to give
I believe one moment can change your life
And there’s still help when you’re in strife

I believe everyone has one true friend
I believe love helps a broken heart mend
I believe in the power of a song
And things will change before too long

I believe living is the best experience
I believe in not laughing at other people’s expense
I believe it’s hard to watch a lover leave
And when they’re gone all you can do is breath

I believe to always look on the bright side
I believe that life is just one big ride
I believe when I die people will grieve
But it’s ok because I believe

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The A-Z of Life – Fear

“The only thing we have to fear is fear itself – nameless. unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyses needed efforts to convert retreat into advance” famously said President Roosevelt in 1933.

I’m not just talking about fear of spiders, snakes, other creepy-crawlies or nay other weird phobias out there.

I’m just talking about fear.

And it is true!

We do fear fear.

What stops us in our tracks? What prevents us from shooting for the moon,? Why do we shy away from life?

Because we are afraid.

But what is it exactly that we fear?

Do we fear the failure or do we fear the success?

If we can answer that then we can perhaps overcome our fear of fear,

We all fail at some things at some point in our lives. Some more than others.

However, what from that failure do we learn?

We learn to do things differently.

We learn that we cannot win at everything, and that in all walks of life there will be people better than us – no matter how much we, or those we love sometimes, bolster and boost our egos to an over-inflated size. (You’ve seen X-Factor, right?)

We learn to persevere.

Most importantly, sometimes we learn never to give up trying.

Why would we fear the success though? Of anything in our lives.

Surely, succeeding is what we are all aiming for, so it shouldn’t be feared?

But are we afraid that if we succeed, we will have nothing left to aim for?

Are we afraid that success might lead to happiness, and we fear the happiness maybe short-lived?

Are we afraid that we don’t deserve success?

Are we afraid that we wouldn’t be able to cope with success?

We shouldn’t be afraid of life, and surely if we fear fear, we are letting ourselves ultimately be afraid of life.

I’m afraid. I fear being alone. I fear being old. I fear being a failure.

But if we think positively, we can overcome fear.

I will never really be alone, because  I am blessed to have family and friends.

I cannot stop the march of time, but I can embrace the wisdom age brings.

I fear being a failure, but that doesn’t stop me trying.

Surely the worst thing to do is to let fear, for want of a better expression, get the better of you? For what will that bring or achieve?

After all, a life half-lived is half a life, and the worse thing anyone can do is live their lives in fear.

 

I found a wonderful poem by Suraj Samtani called “Losing Life to Fear”

In fear of being heard,
In fear of being understood,

In fear of not being heard,
In fear of not being understood,

In fear of being misheard,
In fear of being misunderstood,

In fear of hearing too much,
In fear of understanding too much,

In fear of saying too much,
In fear of saying too little,

In fear of being too enlightened,
In fear of not being factually correct,

In fear of being too bright,
In fear of being too ignorant,

In fear of being praised,
In fear of being bullied,

In fear of not being like others,
In fear of losing my individuality,

In fear of being ostracized,
In fear of being camouflaged,

In fear of being the attraction,
In fear of being ignored,

In fear of being too different,
In fear of being too common,

In fear of following others,
In fear of disobeying others,

In fear of being too gullible,
In fear of being too stubborn,

In fear of being used,
In fear of being misused,

In fear of rewards,
In fear of punishments,

In fear of responsibility,
In fear of expectations,

In fear of being trusted,
In fear of being mistrusted,

In fear of your lack of response,
In fear of your over-reaction,

In fear of eternal silence,
In fear of noisy communication,

In fear of your acceptance,
In fear of your rejection,

In fear of exciting you,
In fear of upsetting you,

In fear of loving you,
In fear of hating you,

In fear of your love,
In fear of your hatred,

In fear of being loved,
In fear of being hated,

In fear of thinking,
In fear of existing,

In fear of living,
In fear of dying,

In fear of being myself,
In fear of being another,

In fear of knowing myself,
In fear of neglecting myself,

I lost my voice;
I lost my identity;
I lost my self.

I lost this life;
I lost my life;
I lost life’s life.

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Letter to SC

To my darling boy

I never knew how much you could love someone until I had you.

I loved you from the moment I found out I was expecting you.

People might think I’m crazy but I talked to you all the time about how much fun we would have and how much I loved you and was looking forward to holding you in my arms.

The first thing I remember after you were born was holding you in my arms thinking how tiny you were and how clumsy I felt. You were so precious and fragile and new, my hands just felt too big and awkward.

But most of all I felt so much love for you, and thanked the angels for sending me the most beautiful gift.

You have grown into an amazing little boy – I am so proud of you.

I’m sorry that you will be an only child. I didn’t want that for you, it’s just the way life has panned out.

And that’s the first lesson I can teach you. That life, sometimes isn’t fair and we don’t always get what we want or think we deserve. You just have to learn to deal with it.

You can either whinge, moan and mope about it, in which case you’ll always be looking back.

Or you can accept the disappointment. It will hurt for a while, but by accepting it you can move on and carry on living and look forward to more wonderful things that await you.

And that’s the second thing I can teach you – never look back, especially with regret or anger. If you do then you are preventing yourself from growing as a person. Sometimes bad things happen in our lives and we can choose to continue to let past hurts affect the present or learn to forgive and leave the past where it belongs as it has no place in the present.

We cannot change the past, we can only learn from mistakes made by ourselves or forgive the actions of others to free ourselves from their chains in order to become happier within ourselves.

Part of the job description of being a parent is guiding you through the path to adulthood by teaching you right from wrong and giving you a good set of morals by which to live. It’s a tricky path and there will be lots of trials and tribulations, but always remember I am there for you. You can tell me anything that’s worrying you and I won’t ever judge. If you stop talking to me, then I can’t help. We are walking the path together and all you have to do is hold my hand and I will help you through.

We’re a team – it’s you and me kiddo.

The third thing I can teach you is to always be yourself. There’s no point in copying the behaviour or actions of others, it does you no favours in the long run. Don’t follow the herd. Always be your own person, know your own mind and be strong. We are all unique individuals with our own special character, talents and faults. We need to be aware of our own talents and faults in equal measure as no one is perfect. If you can acknowledge your own faults, you can help minimise them.

Let people see the real you, and not what you think they want to see. Your true friends will take you for who you are, warts and all, and be there in your time of need. Those who do not, cannot really be said to be friends at all.

The fourth thing I can teach you is to always strive to do your best. Ambition, determination and a will to succeed are not bad assets to have. Nothing in life is ever handed to you on a plate or for free. The only way you can get what you want is by working your hardest for it.

Sometimes ambition, determination and a will to succeed are still not enough. You can give it your all and you might still not get anywhere. This is not a failure though. It is only a failure if you don’t acknowledge that a project has reached its natural conclusion. If you can accept this, then again we learn lessons and we don’t make the same mistakes again.

I will support and encourage you in whatever you want to do. I’m not the type of parent who is going to force my interests on you and make you do something you don’t want to do. We have to find our own things that we enjoy – hobby and work wise. So, if you want to be an astronaut and explore the farthest corner of the galaxy, then you go out there and make it happen 😉

We all have dreams. Dreams are what keep us going in our darkest hours. But sometimes dreams are just that, dreams. I’m not saying you should let go of them, just realise that some dreams won’t come true, however hard you wish 😉 And that’s probably one of the hardest things to learn, but even though a dream won’t come true doesn’t mean you should stop imagining.

And that’s the fifth thing I can teach you. Never let go of your imagination. Without imagination we are nothing. As children we have the most amazing ability to imagine wonderful things and as we grow older convention somehow stifles this creativity. Sometimes though a little imagination goes a long way to solving problems.

The last thing I can teach you is to try to show compassion and kindness to all. It won’t solve all the worlds problems, but by showing empathy it shows you care. Always remember to do as you would be done by.

I love you so much my darling boy, and am trying to be the best mummy I can for you. I’m learning too 😉

xxxx

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