Tag Archives: lessons

Some People Come In Your Life As A Blessing, Some Come As Lessons

Could not have put it any better, lovely post by Talinorfali

Some People Come In Your Life As A Blessing, Some Come As Lessons.

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Letter to SC

To my darling boy

I never knew how much you could love someone until I had you.

I loved you from the moment I found out I was expecting you.

People might think I’m crazy but I talked to you all the time about how much fun we would have and how much I loved you and was looking forward to holding you in my arms.

The first thing I remember after you were born was holding you in my arms thinking how tiny you were and how clumsy I felt. You were so precious and fragile and new, my hands just felt too big and awkward.

But most of all I felt so much love for you, and thanked the angels for sending me the most beautiful gift.

You have grown into an amazing little boy – I am so proud of you.

I’m sorry that you will be an only child. I didn’t want that for you, it’s just the way life has panned out.

And that’s the first lesson I can teach you. That life, sometimes isn’t fair and we don’t always get what we want or think we deserve. You just have to learn to deal with it.

You can either whinge, moan and mope about it, in which case you’ll always be looking back.

Or you can accept the disappointment. It will hurt for a while, but by accepting it you can move on and carry on living and look forward to more wonderful things that await you.

And that’s the second thing I can teach you – never look back, especially with regret or anger. If you do then you are preventing yourself from growing as a person. Sometimes bad things happen in our lives and we can choose to continue to let past hurts affect the present or learn to forgive and leave the past where it belongs as it has no place in the present.

We cannot change the past, we can only learn from mistakes made by ourselves or forgive the actions of others to free ourselves from their chains in order to become happier within ourselves.

Part of the job description of being a parent is guiding you through the path to adulthood by teaching you right from wrong and giving you a good set of morals by which to live. It’s a tricky path and there will be lots of trials and tribulations, but always remember I am there for you. You can tell me anything that’s worrying you and I won’t ever judge. If you stop talking to me, then I can’t help. We are walking the path together and all you have to do is hold my hand and I will help you through.

We’re a team – it’s you and me kiddo.

The third thing I can teach you is to always be yourself. There’s no point in copying the behaviour or actions of others, it does you no favours in the long run. Don’t follow the herd. Always be your own person, know your own mind and be strong. We are all unique individuals with our own special character, talents and faults. We need to be aware of our own talents and faults in equal measure as no one is perfect. If you can acknowledge your own faults, you can help minimise them.

Let people see the real you, and not what you think they want to see. Your true friends will take you for who you are, warts and all, and be there in your time of need. Those who do not, cannot really be said to be friends at all.

The fourth thing I can teach you is to always strive to do your best. Ambition, determination and a will to succeed are not bad assets to have. Nothing in life is ever handed to you on a plate or for free. The only way you can get what you want is by working your hardest for it.

Sometimes ambition, determination and a will to succeed are still not enough. You can give it your all and you might still not get anywhere. This is not a failure though. It is only a failure if you don’t acknowledge that a project has reached its natural conclusion. If you can accept this, then again we learn lessons and we don’t make the same mistakes again.

I will support and encourage you in whatever you want to do. I’m not the type of parent who is going to force my interests on you and make you do something you don’t want to do. We have to find our own things that we enjoy – hobby and work wise. So, if you want to be an astronaut and explore the farthest corner of the galaxy, then you go out there and make it happen 😉

We all have dreams. Dreams are what keep us going in our darkest hours. But sometimes dreams are just that, dreams. I’m not saying you should let go of them, just realise that some dreams won’t come true, however hard you wish 😉 And that’s probably one of the hardest things to learn, but even though a dream won’t come true doesn’t mean you should stop imagining.

And that’s the fifth thing I can teach you. Never let go of your imagination. Without imagination we are nothing. As children we have the most amazing ability to imagine wonderful things and as we grow older convention somehow stifles this creativity. Sometimes though a little imagination goes a long way to solving problems.

The last thing I can teach you is to try to show compassion and kindness to all. It won’t solve all the worlds problems, but by showing empathy it shows you care. Always remember to do as you would be done by.

I love you so much my darling boy, and am trying to be the best mummy I can for you. I’m learning too 😉

xxxx

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Learning to be happy alone …

… is the hardest lesson to learn!

There’s truth in the old saying “if you’re not happy with yourself then you won’t be happy with anyone else”, because if you can’t be happy on your own, what makes you think you’ll be happy with someone?

Sometimes the loneliest place on earth is being in a dead-end relationship – you try to convince yourself, and all around, that everything’s rosy, and you do nothing because you hope it will come right in the end. All the while though you are desperately treading water in a vain attempt to keep afloat, but instead find yourself sinking further and further into yourself, whilst the relationship saps away every last bit of your self-worth, self-belief and life energy.

I know! I’ve been in 2 like it.

Each time it takes longer to grasp back some semblance of self-worth, or sparkle as some people call it.

But does being happy with yourself and by yourself mean that you’ll end up lonely, or indeed as some people say ‘on the shelf’ for eternity?

I would say not. Ever the optimist and looking on the bright side, if you are happy with yourself and by yourself then that surely only enhances a relationship with someone else. Because you’re not needy.

I read once, and believe it’s true, that if you are feeling negative you attract people who have the same type of feelings. For example, as you know when I started going out with father of SC (Mr Wrong No. 2) I had not long been out of the relationship with Mr Wrong No. 1. I was not in a good place emotionally and to be honest neither was he as he was still reeling from his marriage breaking down. So 2 people feeling down, unloved, etc, were attracted to each other when in normal circumstances, i.e., no lack of sparkle on either side, the spark would not even try to ignite! (Believe me!)

Although, I’m on my own, I am in a very happy, secure place in my life. I’m actually happiest on my own, with my own thoughts (although we all know I think way too much, and that does me no good whatsoever), going about my life. Sure I get down, moan, confused, etc., but then who doesn’t when they’ve had bad days, and that’s why I blog to release all my feelings, as I don’t have anyone to talk to.

But the main thing is that I don’t need to have a man in my life in order to be happy. For sure, I would like to be in a normal, happy, loving relationship but I don’t need to be in order to feel fulfilled.

And therein lies the difference. Want is not the same as need!

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