Tag Archives: learning

Love is … like dancing

danceThere’s passion, there’s feeling and there’s rhythm!

Sometimes you get asked to dance a social foxtrot – it’s friendly and fun, but boy it gets tedious after a while – the rhythm and the steps never change and there’s no passion.

Sometimes you join in to a samba beat – plenty of rhythm, plenty of passion but it’s over before you really get a chance to enjoy it.

Occasionally you get to join the hip-hop/street crew and that’s totally disjointed, difficult to understand and painful!

Ballet is beautiful, lyrical, passionate and totally mesmerising, but it can be wooden, fake and very painful.

Of all the dances my favourite is the rumba – it takes it time to warm up but there’s passion a-plenty, rhythm, feeling, tenderness and sensuality – I just hate it when that dance ends!!

But after each dance we always learn what we do and don’t like in order to become better dancers the next time we get asked 😉

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Top 5 Lessons I’ve Learned in Life

You may be seated, class is about to begin 😉life

As I’ve meandered through this thing called life, this is what I have learned, so far:

5.  Don’t get on the negative horses – such as anger, bitterness, self-pity, self-doubt, etc. If someone or something has happened to you then yes, your first reaction may be something negative. But if you stay with that negative frame of mind then that is your choice, not the person, or thing, that hurt you. And then the only person you are hurting is yourself. This is a phrase I have only recently discovered and yes, at times it is very difficult to stay off those damn horses, especially if SC is faffing about when it comes to getting homework done (I swear pulling hen’s teeth would be easier!). But I am getting better at letting those negative horses stay grazing in the field, whilst I stay with the positive team 😉

4.  Treat everyone with kindness – yes, they may not treat you the same in return, but surely that says more about them than you. And by treating everyone with kindness, even if it is just a smile, or offering your seat to someone, then you could make a difference to that person’s day. So my act of kindness today is to send everyone a big smile. 🙂

3.  Keep Learning – learning doesn’t stop when you finish school. The more we learn, the more we grow as people. And we learn and grow from life experiences, and if we don’t then life will keep throwing the same stuff at you until you do learn it. It’s a bit like continuous assessment rather than actually ever having to sit down and take an exam. I think one of the toughest lessons I’ve learned is when it comes to relationships to just let it flow. When I first went out with Boomerang Boy we saw each other continuously for 3 weeks, then it was a case of adios senorita. When I next went out with someone and he dumped me I was accused of being too clingy. Then I went to the other extreme and got accused of being too cold and distant! (And yes, I did tut and think “MEN! ARGH!”) But now, if I ever got the chance I would take it slowly and let them do most of the chasing – after all isn’t that what men really want, it’s the whole hunter/gatherer thing – and if they say they’re busy I wouldn’t freak out, like I would have done way back when, I would give them their space and wait for them to come back from the man cave. And if they don’t, then clearly their chapter in my life is over, and I would give thanks for the memories and let go – after all “I’m not a stop along the way, I’m a destination!”

2. Grab life by the Balls (‘scuse my language!) – you’ve got to. You only get one life and as they say “it’s not a dress rehearsal darling!”. Why just exist, when you can live? You have to grab each and every opportunity and curve ball life throws at you. Embrace them, live them. They may be good or not so good. If they are good then your life will be enriched and if they are not so good then you learn and grow from them. There are 86,400 seconds in each day, and I have started pretending after reading it somewhere (think it was one of the quote things I found on Pinterest) that if we think of them as £86,400 that we have to spend each and every day, where no money gets rolled over, you have to spend it all, and wisely, why on earth would you waste a single second? After all, we never know when there won’t be a tomorrow!

1.  Be You, wholeheartedly  – as the saying goes “why fit in when you were born to stand out!” I remind SC of this fairly regularly, and explain that it has taken me most of my life to actually work it out. I am, at last, happy and contented in my own skin. I know who I am, what I am and, equally important what I am not. And I most certainly am not perfect, by any stretch of the imagination. I have many faults but I take each one and try to improve them. I am quirky, some may even call me strange and weird, but does that bother me? Nope. Not any more. No one can be anything other than themselves really. We can try to fit into some kind of mould that society wants us to, but that doesn’t make us happy. It makes us miserable, as we try desperately to please everyone and make others like us for what we are not. We can only be truly happy by being true to ourselves. And the most important thing I have learned about being me, is that the only person I need ever aim to please is me.

So, there you go, they are my Top 5 lessons I have learned.

What have you learned on your journey through life?

 

 

 

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Things I want to do in 2014 – Half Year Update

Way back in January (doesn’t seem that long ago, this year is whipping by) I set out a list of “Things I want to do in 2014

Progress is, well, slow, to say that very least:

1.  I gave up reading Tolstoy’s “War and Peace”. I got through 21% of it, but to be brutally honest, I didn’t care about any of the characters, and when I read a book I want to care about, or be able to relate to at least one of them, and I got completely and utterly bored. Now that may make me ignorant of great literature or stupid for not finding it inspiring, and if that is so, well, so be it. But I would rather not waste any of my 86,400 seconds that I have in a day reading something I find dull, just because it’s something ‘you should read’ – that to me is a waste of life.

2.  Learning to speak Spanish – this is one of the things I am doing, slowly but surely. I have the CD, but I also bought a box set, very reasonably for a bargain £5, which contains CD, phrase books, and a weekly step-by-step guide. I whizzed through week 1, and am now ploughing my way through week 2, food and drink. I am fairly confident now, I can book a table and maybe even order a cup of tea and churros 😉

3.  Learn to play the piano – have started pretending to practise, badly, in an attempt to get SC to do a bit more practise.  It seems to be working. I’m finding his book very good to work through and he’s just learning to put two hands together. This one I fear will be a long drawn out process. I certainly have no grand dreams that I will be a concert pianist, however, I would just like to be able to read the bass line of the music and be able to bash out a tune or two.

4.  Take a singing exam, just for fun – no progress on this, although I have got a singing teacher, just need the funds 😉

5.  Learn to knit and actually knit something – no progress, as yet, still autumn is fast approaching, so there’s time 😉

6.  Go and see Mamma Mia – tried so very hard to get Kids Week tickets for SC and I for this, but I had no luck. Again plenty of time, maybe I’ll treat us later on in the year.

7.  Try to do my exercise DVDs each day – this actually went well during January. However, medical problems and operation forced a cessation of activity.  However, post-operative progress seems to be sufficient for me to be able to resume exercising.  I’m also thinking of starting a ballet class, it’s been too long I fear my muscles will scream in agony!

8.  Train my chimp – have been training my chimp and channelling my good psychopath qualities.  I’ve been working and developing my new business and am ready to launch 😉  Looking forward to new adventures 😉

9.  Try a different soup each week – total failure to date ;-(  maybe I should just try one and tell SC I used a different coloured mud?

10.  Start writing my book – planning in progress.   I have a vague(ish) outline, working on character development and plots.

So there you have it!

Not too horrendous really, considering I still have 6 months of the year to go.  Admittedly, I’m no where near setting the world on fire, but these are things I wanted to do for me. For no one else, just for my own sense of learning something new, finishing something I started and just sometimes for the sheer fun and hell of it 😉

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Who has made an impact on your life?

As the song from the musical “Wicked” goes:wicked

I’ve heard it said,
That people come into our lives
For a reason
Bringing something we must learn.
And we are lead to those
Who help us most to grow if we let them.
And we help them in return.

And it’s also true that until we learn the lesson we are meant to learn, we will keep making the same mistake.

Something SC said to me this morning struck a chord.  He mentioned a friend of mine he had met once, for only a couple of hours, with such affection it got me thinking.

So, I think it just goes to show that it doesn’t matter who we meet in our journey through life, some people will always make an impact for better or worse and whether they are in your life for a long time or a short time.

SC has made a positive impact in my life in more than one way. For him to grow up to be the person I want him to be, I have to be that person myself, so he has forced me to do a lot of soul-searching about positive ways to live my life and be happy, so he can grow up to be a confident young man.

My headmaster at junior school made a big impact on my life. It was him who helped me develop my love of all things numerical.

I credit one guy (I can’t even remember his name) with making me realise what I wanted to do with my life. After watching a movie, which I spent several minutes dissecting (as is my want sometimes), he turned round and said to me “acting’s what you want to do, isn’t it?” Up until that point, theatre was something I just did. I’d grown up dancing and having drama lessons as a means of working off energy and developing a clear speaking voice. But that one comment made me realise that, yes, that’s what I did want to do. Writing it down now, some 20 years later, still makes me dream. Yes, I went to drama school and did a bit of professional stuff. Nothing major, but I never lose hope that one day … maybe 😉

So, who has made an impact on your life, in a positive or negative way?

And I might as well finish with another quote from that amazing “Wicked” song, and, yes, I confess this is the point in the show where I am blubbing like a baby into my tissue, and just reading the lyrics makes me well up – so if you’ll excuse me, I’ll leave you with the lyrics, whilst I go and find a tissue (sniff, sniff)…

It well may be
That we will never meet again
In this lifetime.
So, let me say before we part:
So much of me
Is made of what I learned from you.
You’ll be with me
Like a hand print on my heart.
And now whatever way our stories end
I know you’ll have rewritten mine
By being my friend.

Like a ship blown from its mooring
By a wind off the sea.
Like a seed dropped by a sky bird
In a distant wood.
Who can say if I’ve been changed for the better
But because I knew you
I have been changed for good.

 

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Friday Poem – Universal Prayer

This is a poem by Alexander Pope (1688-1744) – an English poet best known for his satirical verse and translation of Homer. prayer

Universal Prayer

Father of all! In every age,
In ev’ry clime ador’d,
By saint, by savage, and by sage,
Jehovah, Jove, or Lord!

Thou Great First Cause, least understood,
Who all my sense confin’d
To know but this, that Thou art good,
And that myself am blind:

Yet gave me, in this dark estate,
To see the good from ill;
And, binding Nature fast in Fate,
Left free the human Will.

What Conscience dictates to be done,
Or warns me not to do;
This teach me more than Hell to shun,
That more than Heav’n pursue.

What blessings thy free bounty gives
Let me not cast away;
For God is paid when man receives;
T’ enjoy is to obey.

Yet not to earth’s contracted span
Thy goodness let me bound,
Or think thee Lord alone of man,
When thousand worlds are round.

Let not this weak, unknowing hand
Presume thy bolts to throw,
And teach damnation round the land
On each I judge thy foe.

If I am right, thy grace impart,
Still in the right to stay;
If I am wrong, O teach my heart
To find that better way.

Save me alike from foolish Pride
Or impious Discontent,
At aught thy wisdom has denied,
Or aught that goodness lent.

Teach me to feel another’s woe,
To right the fault I see:
That mercy I to others show,
That mercy show to me.

Mean tho’ I am, not wholly so,
Since quicken’d by thy breath;
O lead me whereso’er I go,
Thro’ this day’s life or death!

This day be bread and peace my lot:
All else beneath the sun
Though know’st if best bestow’d or not,
And let Thy will be done.

To Thee, whose temple is of Space,
Whose altar earth, sea, skies,
One chorus let all Beings raise!
All Nature’s incense rise!

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