Tag Archives: knight in shining armour

Letter to Prince Charming

Dear Prince Charming

I don’t know who you are, or where you are?

I’m assuming you:

a) are riding on a tortoise as opposed to a white charger
b) missed the bus
c) are delayed slaying dragons

** Delete as appropriate (but please choose your answer wisely!)

Whoever, and wherever you are I hope you’re worth the bloody wait!

But I guess whilst I’m waiting you should know a little about me and what you need to do to win this fair lady over ….

If you’re expecting a short, blonde-haired, blue-eyed, big boobed doll you may as well just carry on riding. Sorry to disappoint, but I’m a tall, long-legged bird with brown hair and eyes that tend to change colour depending on what I wear.

Despite all the knocks that life has dealt me, I still believe in romance, I believe in happy-ever-afters, I believe in love and most of all I will believe in the man who will act like a gentleman and never stop choosing me for the rest of his life.

I’m rubbish at dating, I can’t “play the game” and don’t know the rules.

I won’t text often, only if you get in touch with me so it may appear like I’m  a bit of an ice queen as I get to know you (I’m not though)) but seeing as you’re Prince Charming, isn’t it your job to pursue me and keep me keen?

I will believe and trust in you that you will not be the kind of man to disappoint me.

I know all about “the man cave” so if you tell me you’re busy, I will respect your need for space to sort out whatever stuff it is you’re going through and won’t contact you at all, but wait until you are ready to talk. That doesn’t mean I don’t care, I would (probably too much) and will miss you.

I’m weird, kooky and quirky, so you’d best be prepared for: me to walk along the edge of the pavement, swing around lampposts, jump over puddles, steam up the stairs 2 at a time (always 2 steps, never one at a time), my shoulders to unconsciously start moving along to music, random dancing, my imagination and a million and one other types of craziness. If you can accept this, great, if you care to join me, even better 😉

I’m also a serious, smart girl. I think way too much, over-analyse everything but I know my worth.

I have standards and I don’t share men. If you knock on my door and continue weighing up various options, I will not hesitate in slamming the door and removing myself from the option list.  After all I’m not a one in a million kind of girl, I’m a once in a lifetime girl!

I believe in action over words. If you want me you need to pursue me, make me feel like I’m the only one, move mountains to be with me, make me feel loved, prove to me that you want this more than I do and most importantly be the man to prove to me that you are not the same as all the rest.

I want someone who will call or text me without reason, wants to see me, gets jealous and over-protective and loves me for me.

I don’t just want a physical connection, I crave an emotional and spiritual connection. I want to know the real you and you to know the real me.  If you can seduce my mind, my body is yours, if you can find and connect with my soul, then I’m yours forever.

When you’ve won my heart, it won’t be because I need you, it will be because I want you – pure & simple.

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Is perfection ever attainable?

I only ask, because the other day I overheard a window cleaner saying to his mate that “the perfect woman doesn’t exist!”

And how many times are women heard bemoaning the fact that the perfect man isn’t out there either?

Are we all actually just striving for something that, in the end, doesn’t exist?

Who decides what makes a perfect man/woman?

We all know the sterotypes that are thrust upon us via various mediums – tall, dark, brooding and handsome men, and stick thin women, with perfect hair and skin, or blonde, blue-eyed with big …!

And as children, fairytales are all very well and good, but do women ever get the literary knight in shining armour who will fight to the death for her, and likewise do men get the beautiful perfect princess?

With the opposite sex put on extremely high pedestals for us, is it any wonder that after searching for perfection we seem to just give up, or settle and then bemoan our not-so-perfect partners’ foibles!

But would perfection be in fact perfect?

After all, if you had the stick-thin, perfect haired model could you put up with her eating nothing, except maybe the odd bit of tissue paper, and smoking like a chimney to stave off the hunger pangs, or if she did eat, hold her hair for her whilst she made herself sick out of guilt that she may have just eaten something that would put on an ounce?

Or if you had the dark, brooding handsome type, would it get a bit too boring with all that brooding and not any mental action?

And because we are all seem to be striving to find the ‘perfect’ partner, when we hit a curve in the road, or a not-so-perfect one time after time, the pedestal starts wavering and then tottering and then falls over and smashes on to the ground leaving us feeling that we are not worthy of that ‘perfect’ love because of all the hurt we have endured and that all members of the opposite sex are bar stewards/b**ches ** [** delete as appropriate]

And once we fall into the trap of believing in the stereotype, i.e., all members of the opposite sex are…, that apparently is a rut we stay in until we snap ourselves out of it. So every potential partner we meet, instead of seeing the good, our subconscious tells us that it will all end badly and therefore we get what we deserve. Our words, thoughts and feelings form our realities, as they say

I have been in this rut for so many years I have lost count – previous encounters left me feeling that I am unworthy of being loved, therefore with each new encounter I try too hard and end up constantly being treated like a doormat with no feelings. That is my failing, no one else’s. My experience has led me to fall into the belief that all men will walk all over me, and consequently that is what has happened. I need to realise that it is not true of all men, there are some good ones out there … somewhere, and that I need to treat any new encounter as just that. A new encounter – with no hang-ups about Mr Wrongs past.

Everyone is worthy of being loved for who they are, even me, and everyone deserves to be respected for who they are.

We are all individuals, each uniquely different, with amazing qualities if we care to look beneath the surface.

Maybe we need to smash the ‘perfect man/woman’ ideal and become more flexible in our perception of perfection, then we will be able to find that there is a perfect someone out there for all of us?

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What Does Romance Mean to you?

… after years of Disney, fairy stories and Hollywood movies where the girls always get a ‘happy-ever-after’ I thought that romance meant there was a knight in shining armour, or Prince romanceCharming, with big romantic gestures ready to sweep a girl off her feet and ride off into the sunset of ‘happy-ever-afters’.

But you know what?

I don’t want sunbursts and marble halls – to quote Anne of Green Gables.

The most romantic thing for me is the most precious commodity anybody owns … time!

Just spending time with that special someone is worth more than any amount of a flash extravagance.

And when you are spending time with someone – even if it’s just a few hours, you can almost make time stop, so it feels like for ever.

It’s the simple things that mean the most.

– Thoughtfulness.

– Kindness.

– Long kisses.

– Talking about anything and everything.

– Walks at sunset.

– Cuddling.

– Spooning.

– Holding hands so that you don’t know where your hand ends and theirs starts.

– Listening to music in the candlelight.

Romance doesn’t have to cost the earth.

Sometimes the simplest things have a way of making you feel like everything is … magic 😉

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My Perfect Man

Obviously, going all Disney, he has to be Prince Charming who will whisk me off my feet, then we’ll ride off into the sunset on his white steed and live happily ever after 😉

But I know fairy-tales don’t really exist, and there’s no riding off into the sunset to live happily ever after, relationships are hard work!

So following on from my “Perfect Man” post, here’s my ‘shopping list’ in no particular order 😉

  1. Over 6ft please – I’m 6ft in heels, and seriously would prefer to look up to someone in the physical sense rather than eyeball them!
  2. Someone who likes to take care of themselves, but not to the extreme though;
  3. Hair & Eye Colour – seriously doesn’t matter;
  4. Non-smoker;
  5. Someone kind and considerate – I’m sure there must be some men out there who are?
  6. Someone not averse to helping with housework chores, including cooking – clothes washing aside (we already know how anal I am about that!)
  7. Someone I can respect, who will respect me in return;
  8. Someone in tune with emotions, theirs and those of others;
  9. Someone who loves me for who I am, faults included;
  10. White Charger (optional) 😉

Not an extortionate request is it?

I don’t care what they do, how much they earn, or any other materialistic clap trap. At the end of the day I just want someone who will treat me with kindness, compassion and respect.

 

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Mummy you don’t need a Knight in Shining Armour…

…because you’ve got me, and I’m your knight in shining armour!

said SC when we were in the car travelling to a castle on the trail of knights in shining armour last week. I just happened to mention that maybe I would find a knight in shining armour to look after us – you never know stranger things have happened. Knights are just in short supply these days, especially those on white chargers 😉

SC was quite adamant that I wasn’t actually allowed a knight, even when I said that of course he was mummy’s knight, but wasn’t she allowed a grown-up version too?

No, was the definitive answer.

But what happens, I reasoned with him, when he grows up and finds his own princess?

Child logic comes in to play here. “That doesn’t matter mummy, I’ll never leave you on your own, you’ll come with me!”

Mmmm, even I wouldn’t hold him to that one.

But, he’s right. He may not be a grown-up version, but I do have Prince Charming and a knight in shining armour. He’s just 5! And I’m training him up for someone else 😉

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I’ll tell you what I want … What I really, really want

Now, I know that “I want” never gets, as I’m forever telling SC.

But, in my life there’s a fine line between what I wanted and what I got!

Yes, I am blessed with SC, and I forever thankful of that, but other things always seem out of reach. So here’s what I want:

I want a life filled with love and laughter.

I have this silly picture in my mind of my home – with me, my knight and our family. Laughter and happiness abound, but above all when the welcoming front door is opened you are hit with an intense feeling of warmth and love.

I’m not such a fool to think that it is all fabulous. I know there will be heartache along the way, but at least I won’t be alone in fighting the demons that come a’knocking!

I want a home filled with noise and music.

I am a naturally loud person, something SC has inherited. I can’t help it. My parents say I talk as if I was on the National Theatre stage trying to reach deaf old Aunt Ada at the back, whereas Mr Wrong No. 1 always ‘had a go’ at me for ‘projecting’. Like I say, I’ve got a loud voice – far too many years on the stage darrrrling!

My parents like quiet, so it’s always tense in the house, as I’m trying to keep SC’s noise levels to a minimum (maybe that’s way I’m such a stressed out mummy?).

As far as I’m concerned, noise is good – I know there are times when silence can, indeed, be golden and a welcome break – but in my experience a noisy home, is generally a happy one!

In my ‘dream’ our home would be full of noise – happy noise and music.

When SC was a baby, and we were alone in the house, I used to crank up the stereo, and we would have a marvellous time – I would have him in my arms and we would dance around with me belting out show tunes (which are a particular favourite of mine)

As far as I’m concerned, music is essential for a happy home – it can instantly lighten the mood 😉

To be honest, I’m happy to listen to anything. I never say never to listening to something new – although I do have a soft spot for show tunes (as I mentioned) and cheesy 80s pop music 😉

Finally, I want a knight in shining armour.

I don’t want a troll under the bridge – had enough of those to last me several lifetimes, thank you.

I don’t want to be messed around. I don’t want to be a convenient intermission whilst someone sorts out their problems. I don’t want to be led up the garden path with promises only for it to all be smashed in my face again, as the other party walks away laughing and I’m left to pick up the pieces of my life once more. I don’t want to be a rehearsal for someone until they decide they’re going to marry an internet bride. Shall I go on?

I know knights don’t really exist. I don’t even want “diamond sunbursts or marble halls”. I just want someone kind, caring, honest and true. Someone that I can laugh with, talk to and who can be my best friend.

Is that too much to ask?

My knight in shining armour not only has to fall in love with me though, but he has to love children and want to have a family.

I come as a package deal you see – you get me and SC. I like to think of it as  BOGOF offer 😉

He’s going to have to be able to step in and become a stable male role model to SC ( as well as any others we may be blessed with).

It’s a big ask of anyone to take on someone else’s child and help raise him. I know, my last 2 disasters have both involved me being typecast as the wicked stepmother. I know I am not cut out for it, but in some ways I feel it’s harder for a woman, than it is for a man.

So my knight will have to be very special indeed as I’m not a stereotypical single mother who will introduce her child to a different ‘uncle’ when the weather changes.

I want a family for keeps!

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