Tag Archives: kindness

A-Z of Life – Gratitude

gratitudeGratitude – the quality of being thankful or to show appreciation for and to return kindness.

Sometimes in this world the ability to be grateful seems to pass people by.

Rather than being grateful for what they have, they grumble about what they haven’t got.

And even more simple, they just plain forget manners and never say thank you when they receive something, be it someone holding the door open, giving them a present or something more significant like a job!

It’s not difficult to be grateful. I have found that if I start the day by being grateful for what I have then my day starts on an even more positive note and I am grateful for everything that comes into my life that day – good, bad or indifferent, there’s always a reason to be grateful for it.

Here are 10 things that I am always grateful for every day (my list is a lot longer, but I whittled it down to 10 generic things):

  1. I am grateful for my health
  2. I am grateful for my friends
  3. I am grateful for my family’s love and support
  4. I am grateful for the memories
  5. I am grateful for every opportunity thrown at me
  6. I am grateful for the lessons I have learned
  7. I am grateful for SC – he is a blessing in my life
  8. I am grateful for the happiness I find in life
  9. I am grateful for my gifts and talents
  10. I am grateful for today and the wonders that lie in wait for me.

So, what are you grateful for?

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Top 5 Lessons I’ve Learned in Life

You may be seated, class is about to begin 😉life

As I’ve meandered through this thing called life, this is what I have learned, so far:

5.  Don’t get on the negative horses – such as anger, bitterness, self-pity, self-doubt, etc. If someone or something has happened to you then yes, your first reaction may be something negative. But if you stay with that negative frame of mind then that is your choice, not the person, or thing, that hurt you. And then the only person you are hurting is yourself. This is a phrase I have only recently discovered and yes, at times it is very difficult to stay off those damn horses, especially if SC is faffing about when it comes to getting homework done (I swear pulling hen’s teeth would be easier!). But I am getting better at letting those negative horses stay grazing in the field, whilst I stay with the positive team 😉

4.  Treat everyone with kindness – yes, they may not treat you the same in return, but surely that says more about them than you. And by treating everyone with kindness, even if it is just a smile, or offering your seat to someone, then you could make a difference to that person’s day. So my act of kindness today is to send everyone a big smile. 🙂

3.  Keep Learning – learning doesn’t stop when you finish school. The more we learn, the more we grow as people. And we learn and grow from life experiences, and if we don’t then life will keep throwing the same stuff at you until you do learn it. It’s a bit like continuous assessment rather than actually ever having to sit down and take an exam. I think one of the toughest lessons I’ve learned is when it comes to relationships to just let it flow. When I first went out with Boomerang Boy we saw each other continuously for 3 weeks, then it was a case of adios senorita. When I next went out with someone and he dumped me I was accused of being too clingy. Then I went to the other extreme and got accused of being too cold and distant! (And yes, I did tut and think “MEN! ARGH!”) But now, if I ever got the chance I would take it slowly and let them do most of the chasing – after all isn’t that what men really want, it’s the whole hunter/gatherer thing – and if they say they’re busy I wouldn’t freak out, like I would have done way back when, I would give them their space and wait for them to come back from the man cave. And if they don’t, then clearly their chapter in my life is over, and I would give thanks for the memories and let go – after all “I’m not a stop along the way, I’m a destination!”

2. Grab life by the Balls (‘scuse my language!) – you’ve got to. You only get one life and as they say “it’s not a dress rehearsal darling!”. Why just exist, when you can live? You have to grab each and every opportunity and curve ball life throws at you. Embrace them, live them. They may be good or not so good. If they are good then your life will be enriched and if they are not so good then you learn and grow from them. There are 86,400 seconds in each day, and I have started pretending after reading it somewhere (think it was one of the quote things I found on Pinterest) that if we think of them as £86,400 that we have to spend each and every day, where no money gets rolled over, you have to spend it all, and wisely, why on earth would you waste a single second? After all, we never know when there won’t be a tomorrow!

1.  Be You, wholeheartedly  – as the saying goes “why fit in when you were born to stand out!” I remind SC of this fairly regularly, and explain that it has taken me most of my life to actually work it out. I am, at last, happy and contented in my own skin. I know who I am, what I am and, equally important what I am not. And I most certainly am not perfect, by any stretch of the imagination. I have many faults but I take each one and try to improve them. I am quirky, some may even call me strange and weird, but does that bother me? Nope. Not any more. No one can be anything other than themselves really. We can try to fit into some kind of mould that society wants us to, but that doesn’t make us happy. It makes us miserable, as we try desperately to please everyone and make others like us for what we are not. We can only be truly happy by being true to ourselves. And the most important thing I have learned about being me, is that the only person I need ever aim to please is me.

So, there you go, they are my Top 5 lessons I have learned.

What have you learned on your journey through life?

 

 

 

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The A-Z of Life – Kindness

Wouldn’t life be simple, and the world perhaps a more peaceful place if we were all treated everyone with a bit more kindness?

Why is it so hard for people to be kind?

From the school bully to the traffic warden who is pen poised to write a ticket when you’ve still got 5 minutes left to go?

If we want people to treat us kindly, then the first thing we have to do is be kind to others.

Being kind can range from just saying ‘please’ or ‘thank you’ to offering a seat on a crowded train to someone who needs it more than you do, ad infinitum.

Just small acts of kindness can sometimes turn someones day from a ‘day from hell’ to one that they will remember because someone showed them kindness.

I like to think that I am kind to people I meet along my path in life.

One day I hope that being kind to others will be seen as the norm rather than the exception!

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What Does Romance Mean to you?

… after years of Disney, fairy stories and Hollywood movies where the girls always get a ‘happy-ever-after’ I thought that romance meant there was a knight in shining armour, or Prince romanceCharming, with big romantic gestures ready to sweep a girl off her feet and ride off into the sunset of ‘happy-ever-afters’.

But you know what?

I don’t want sunbursts and marble halls – to quote Anne of Green Gables.

The most romantic thing for me is the most precious commodity anybody owns … time!

Just spending time with that special someone is worth more than any amount of a flash extravagance.

And when you are spending time with someone – even if it’s just a few hours, you can almost make time stop, so it feels like for ever.

It’s the simple things that mean the most.

– Thoughtfulness.

– Kindness.

– Long kisses.

– Talking about anything and everything.

– Walks at sunset.

– Cuddling.

– Spooning.

– Holding hands so that you don’t know where your hand ends and theirs starts.

– Listening to music in the candlelight.

Romance doesn’t have to cost the earth.

Sometimes the simplest things have a way of making you feel like everything is … magic 😉

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My Perfect Man

Obviously, going all Disney, he has to be Prince Charming who will whisk me off my feet, then we’ll ride off into the sunset on his white steed and live happily ever after 😉

But I know fairy-tales don’t really exist, and there’s no riding off into the sunset to live happily ever after, relationships are hard work!

So following on from my “Perfect Man” post, here’s my ‘shopping list’ in no particular order 😉

  1. Over 6ft please – I’m 6ft in heels, and seriously would prefer to look up to someone in the physical sense rather than eyeball them!
  2. Someone who likes to take care of themselves, but not to the extreme though;
  3. Hair & Eye Colour – seriously doesn’t matter;
  4. Non-smoker;
  5. Someone kind and considerate – I’m sure there must be some men out there who are?
  6. Someone not averse to helping with housework chores, including cooking – clothes washing aside (we already know how anal I am about that!)
  7. Someone I can respect, who will respect me in return;
  8. Someone in tune with emotions, theirs and those of others;
  9. Someone who loves me for who I am, faults included;
  10. White Charger (optional) 😉

Not an extortionate request is it?

I don’t care what they do, how much they earn, or any other materialistic clap trap. At the end of the day I just want someone who will treat me with kindness, compassion and respect.

 

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Kindness

Kindness is the act of being kind to others without any bias, spite or indeed getting anything in return. It is purely a voluntary act of unselfishness.

But in this day and age can being kind to others mean that you are seen as a doormat, a pushover, someone to whom you can treat like dirt because they have a kind heart and no malice?

I’ve read lots of books on marketing techniques, how to close sales, how to get what you want, and the same information is imparted in obviously different ways.

It is akin to a character in Charles Kingsley’s The Water Babies – Mrs Do-As-You-Would-Be-Done-By.

So for example, if you want people to be kind to you, start treating other people with kindness. If you want help, help others.

It’s a simple, yet effective technique called empathy.

Treat people as you would wish to be treated yourself.

If we all lived by this simple motto – do as you would be done by – then maybe we could make the world a nicer place to live?

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Letter to SC

To my darling boy

I never knew how much you could love someone until I had you.

I loved you from the moment I found out I was expecting you.

People might think I’m crazy but I talked to you all the time about how much fun we would have and how much I loved you and was looking forward to holding you in my arms.

The first thing I remember after you were born was holding you in my arms thinking how tiny you were and how clumsy I felt. You were so precious and fragile and new, my hands just felt too big and awkward.

But most of all I felt so much love for you, and thanked the angels for sending me the most beautiful gift.

You have grown into an amazing little boy – I am so proud of you.

I’m sorry that you will be an only child. I didn’t want that for you, it’s just the way life has panned out.

And that’s the first lesson I can teach you. That life, sometimes isn’t fair and we don’t always get what we want or think we deserve. You just have to learn to deal with it.

You can either whinge, moan and mope about it, in which case you’ll always be looking back.

Or you can accept the disappointment. It will hurt for a while, but by accepting it you can move on and carry on living and look forward to more wonderful things that await you.

And that’s the second thing I can teach you – never look back, especially with regret or anger. If you do then you are preventing yourself from growing as a person. Sometimes bad things happen in our lives and we can choose to continue to let past hurts affect the present or learn to forgive and leave the past where it belongs as it has no place in the present.

We cannot change the past, we can only learn from mistakes made by ourselves or forgive the actions of others to free ourselves from their chains in order to become happier within ourselves.

Part of the job description of being a parent is guiding you through the path to adulthood by teaching you right from wrong and giving you a good set of morals by which to live. It’s a tricky path and there will be lots of trials and tribulations, but always remember I am there for you. You can tell me anything that’s worrying you and I won’t ever judge. If you stop talking to me, then I can’t help. We are walking the path together and all you have to do is hold my hand and I will help you through.

We’re a team – it’s you and me kiddo.

The third thing I can teach you is to always be yourself. There’s no point in copying the behaviour or actions of others, it does you no favours in the long run. Don’t follow the herd. Always be your own person, know your own mind and be strong. We are all unique individuals with our own special character, talents and faults. We need to be aware of our own talents and faults in equal measure as no one is perfect. If you can acknowledge your own faults, you can help minimise them.

Let people see the real you, and not what you think they want to see. Your true friends will take you for who you are, warts and all, and be there in your time of need. Those who do not, cannot really be said to be friends at all.

The fourth thing I can teach you is to always strive to do your best. Ambition, determination and a will to succeed are not bad assets to have. Nothing in life is ever handed to you on a plate or for free. The only way you can get what you want is by working your hardest for it.

Sometimes ambition, determination and a will to succeed are still not enough. You can give it your all and you might still not get anywhere. This is not a failure though. It is only a failure if you don’t acknowledge that a project has reached its natural conclusion. If you can accept this, then again we learn lessons and we don’t make the same mistakes again.

I will support and encourage you in whatever you want to do. I’m not the type of parent who is going to force my interests on you and make you do something you don’t want to do. We have to find our own things that we enjoy – hobby and work wise. So, if you want to be an astronaut and explore the farthest corner of the galaxy, then you go out there and make it happen 😉

We all have dreams. Dreams are what keep us going in our darkest hours. But sometimes dreams are just that, dreams. I’m not saying you should let go of them, just realise that some dreams won’t come true, however hard you wish 😉 And that’s probably one of the hardest things to learn, but even though a dream won’t come true doesn’t mean you should stop imagining.

And that’s the fifth thing I can teach you. Never let go of your imagination. Without imagination we are nothing. As children we have the most amazing ability to imagine wonderful things and as we grow older convention somehow stifles this creativity. Sometimes though a little imagination goes a long way to solving problems.

The last thing I can teach you is to try to show compassion and kindness to all. It won’t solve all the worlds problems, but by showing empathy it shows you care. Always remember to do as you would be done by.

I love you so much my darling boy, and am trying to be the best mummy I can for you. I’m learning too 😉

xxxx

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