Tag Archives: hollywood

Vajazzles!

The other evening my mother called me in to her room where she was watching television and asked “what’s a vajazzle?”

Sharp intake of breath and gulping so as not to laugh too much from your truly, and a reply of “jewelling your lady garden mum.”

She didn’t believe me, so I had to google what it was for her!

After which there was I explaining to a near septuagenarian that to be vajazzled meant that after having a Brazilian/Hollywood wax, crystals were stuck around the lady garden area.

Seriously, does anyone else have these conversations with their mothers?

And on another point, is vajazzling common-place these days? Does everyone do it? And, more importantly why would anyone do it?

Now, I’m all up for a Hollywood, but sticking crystals around the nether regions could be asking for trouble.

What if one fell off and managed to work its way inside – shudders – doesn’t even bear thinking about.

Now that would be an interesting conversation with the doctor 😉

 

Advertisements

Leave a comment

Filed under General

Stripped Bare

…or we could call it “The Hollywood (Part 2)”

I’m doing something in next month which requires me to wear a very skimpy outfit, so I decided that this would call for the ‘lady garden’ to be, not just pruned, but stripped bare.

Now, considering my only other Hollywood wax was when I was 8½ months pregnant, I was a little bit apprehensive. After all, then I was left bruised, sore and unable to walk without pain for 2 days!

With this in the back of my mind, I didn’t want to wait until the last-minute to have it done, just in case.

But this morning it was all whipped away with the minimum amount of fuss and, more thankfully, not much pain. I have legs, underarms, eyebrows and bikini line waxed – and there is always some degree of pain. Obviously the more you have this done, the less the pain becomes as you become used to the treatment. But, apart from a couple of ouches, it was not a horrendous, unpleasant, never-to-be-repeated process.

I have to say, I think it probably has something to do with the person doing the waxing – after all if they are experienced, then they know what they are doing and can tell you exactly which way to stretch, where to put your leg, etc – and yes, it can resemble a scene out of ‘Sex and the City’.

…and yes, I probably will have it done again now 😉

Leave a comment

Filed under General

What is Appropriate Viewing for Children?

Well in my opinion definitely not the latest Batman, Spiderman or Superman!

I am talking children of pre-school/reception year here, so the under-fives in particular.

Films have classifications for a reason. Even those classed as parental guidance really sometimes should not be shown to very young children.

Television as well has its division, CBeebies and Milkshake for the under sixes and CBBC and CITV as older counterparts. I know that with the 500 million channels out there, there is also Disney Junior, Nick Jnr, etc.

But as parents we have to be responsible for what our children watch.

SC watches CBeebies, occasionally Milkshake (and even then the ads are censored, even these can be inappropriate for the age range)

The reason?

I firmly believe that children are extremely impressionable at this young age. Their imaginations work overtime and everything and anything can be used in play situations.

A firm favourite at the moment is Tree-Fu Tom. This is a harmless animated series about a little boy who has magical powers and does tree-fu (gets the children up doing basic non-violent martial art moves) whilst saving Treetopolis and his friends from some disaster.

However, SC loves the programme so much that he really believes he can do Tree-Fu magic. He went into school and started practising this magic, I hasten to add not touching any other child, just moving his arms around and making swoosh noises, but other children thought that because of the sounds and movement he was doing something menacing like trying to shoot them!

I had to explain to the teacher that (a) he has no idea what a gun is and (b) he doesn’t watch inappropriate television. I know it was all innocent, but how did these other 4 and 5 year olds know about guns and shooting and killing people? Obviously they have seen it somewhere.

After I spoke to SC, we now have a mantra before we go into school each day that he mustn’t do Tree-Fu magic, make noise or move his arms around!

He also doesn’t watch inappropriate films. Disney’s about as far as it goes in this house.

As parents we, no one else, we are responsible for what we let out children watch. Surely, if we think it something is not suitable, they do not watch it. It cares not one iota if little Jimmy in the playground watches it.

I have seen children playing who have been allowed to watch inappropriate television/films. It seems, especially boys, to make them more destructive in their play! I remember a little boy the same age as SC who had watched Spiderman, Batman, all the latest, and then watched as he took a toy and then wreaked havoc as all other children were playing, by violently hitting their toys, knocking down stuff with no care or regard for anyone else.

I know all little boys love action heroes, etc. But if you look at things, the Batman TV series of the sixties was innocent compared to the mindless violence that Hollywood shove down our throats in the latest Batman movie.

And that’s the whole point. Innocence. Life, to some degree was more innocent two or three generations ago. You only have to look at the films, TV series, lyrics to songs and pop stars. There were no (at least very few) children getting pregnant at 11. Cheesy pop the 80s may have had but you can still remember the lyrics to Karma Chameleon I’ll bet? Gyrating pelvises and scantily clad females were not shoved down your throat (for want of a better phrase), films too were gentler.

Is it since the birth of so much advanced technology – 500 million tv channels (and still nothing decent to watch), i-pods, i-phones, internet on demand everywhere and anywhere, computer games, etc that we started heading down the slippery slope of moral decline and loss of innocence?

Next time you go to the cinema, just look at the violence that each and every film has? Is it necessary?

When was the last time you saw a computer game that didn’t involve killing everyone in sight?

Children are children.

Life is tough enough as it is without ramming thoughts of violence, death and destruction into their heads from a young age. Unless we, as parents take responsibility the world is going to keep falling into the downward spiral it seems to be in.

One last thought on how impressionable children can be:

SC was at school, one little boy said that he was going to take another little boy chop him up, put him in a hole and blow him up! This child was 5! Where on earth did he get that sort of idea from if not from watching something wholly inappropriate?

Leave a comment

Filed under Children

Let’s talk waxing – The Hollywood

Right, let’s get stuck right in shall we?

It’s a necessity in today’s society to primp and preen ourselves to within an inch of looking like the bride of Frankenstein – fake this, fake that and fake everything in between.

Now, much as I loathe the “you’ve been tangoed” look, along with artificially enlarging God-given bodily bits, or piercing anything that moves, the one thing I do agree on, is the removal of unwanted bodily hair.

As I’ve blogged before I wax legs, underarms, eyebrows and bikini line.

And I will admit to having a Hollywood … once!

For those of you that are unfamiliar with waxing terminology, here’s my layman’s interpretation:

  • Bikini line – just removal of the pant moustache;
  • Extended bikini line – removal of the pant moustache – plus a little bit in case you’re going to be wearing a bikini or high-cut swimsuit;
  • Brazilian – removal of pant moustache leaving a landing strip only, plus removal of the lady garden underneath
  • Hollywood – everything off!

So, there you have it.

So, yes, I had a Hollywood. I was 8 months pregnant at the time, so in hindsight it probably wasn’t the best thing in the world to have done – but to be honest, if a  miracle happened, I would pretty much do the same again.

Why? I hear you cry.

Well, being a practical sort of gal, I didn’t like the idea of baby having to fight its way through an undergrowth to get out. I had visions of Indiana Jones with his big knife swiping at the tall pampas grass-type plants to get them out-of-the-way. So I decided to go the whole hog, so to speak.

Hmmm!

The first thing I was told when I booked it was that it was best to get the ‘hair’ to a length of approximately ½ an inch.

Seriously! I was 8 months pregnant, I couldn’t see my feet, let alone anything higher!

Cue 1 very large mirror.

See, I thought it would be easy. How wrong could I be? Not only do you have to sit in a very strange position to actually see what you are doing – due to a large bump being in the way, but you are also having to try to ‘trim’ back to front. Rather than watching what you are doing on yourself, you have to look in the reflection and try to use a pair of scissors! Try it, it’s quite difficult.

Anyway, in the end I just gave up – certainly didn’t want to give myself an episeotomy!

So, the following morning, there I am at the beautician’s, lying on the table, bump rather active, waiting.

ow! Ow! OW!!!!!

Bikini waxing is generally OK, I find. Not a big deal. BUT. When you’re pregnant, things down there get a little more sensitive. And, by golly gosh, it hurt (OK not quite so much as labour pains), but actually pretty close.

So the first couple of strips were OK. More stingy than usual, but pretty much within the pain threshold.

Then we got on to the lady garden area.

Oh, sweet mother of Jesus. That did smart.

Actually, what didn’t help, was that I had forgotten to switch my mobile to silent and it rang. In my rush to grab the phone I hurled myself off the table and bump gave me a real big squeeze, in the form of a nice Braxton-Hicks. I thought the beautician was going to have a fit, I think she thought I’d gone into labour. Ooops!

Profuse apologies and phone on silent we got back to the job in hand. The remaining bits!

Now, unbeknownst to me, a fact which I have been told since, the further across you go with the hair removal (on the frontage, not the undercarriage) the more sensitive and therefore painful it gets – which is why I was told hot wax is more effective than warm wax.

Mmmm. I was being given a warm wax treatment.

I think I bit my finger so hard at one point I actually drew blood!

Anyway. pain over, Hollywood ‘look’ achieved and no hacking through undergrowth for little Indiana!

What I hadn’t expected, was that I was actually so bruised ‘down there’ I found it difficult to walk for a couple of days!

Result – nice, would definitely go the whole hog again – pregnant or otherwise.

Note to self though – will turn phone off first 😉

 

Leave a comment

Filed under General