Tag Archives: hard work

So, it’s easy being a single mother is it?

Apparently Mylene Klass has said she loves being a single mum, she wants to ‘own’ it (whatever the hecky thump that phrase means) or #someothershit

Well, and please excuse the sarcasm here but it probably helps if you have millions in the bank, nannies or au pairs and not much else to have to worry about.

But for those of us who live in the real world the answer is slightly different.

No, it isn’t easy.

It’s bloody hard work!

I certainly didn’t set out to be a single mother, but ended up one pretty much from day 1. (And no, before anyone jumps in, I have never, ever denied any contact – just like to make that clear)

You don’t just have to be 1 parent, you have to be 2 rolled into 1.

The job is 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year, with no break.

No one to say “you know what, you have a lie in and I’ll take the baby out for a couple of hours!” – and believe me after 18months of being woken every 1½hours I looked like the living dead, followed by not actually sleeping through the night until he was 4, it’s no wonder I have bags under my eyes the size of a 747 cargo-hold!

No one to help you when they’re sick with a fever of 104, or having night terrors and you have no clue what to do.

No one to help out if you’re sick.

No one to talk to.

Now, I will admit I am luckier than a lot of lone parents out there, my parents took us in, and yes I don’t have to worry about rent or food. But I don’t and never have just sat back and taken advantage of their good nature – and I will never ever be able to repay them.

I don’t go out every night of the week, sleeping with any Tom, Dick or Harry.  In fact, it is very rare I go out at all – I go ballroom dancing once a week and that pretty much sums up the extent of my social life.

And yes, my so-called friends thought I had the life of Riley because I lived back with my parents. Why my parents do all the work for me and I can just swan about doing jack-all.

Actually that couldn’t be further from the truth.

I actually hold down so many jobs it’s unbelievable.

I’m obviously a full-time “most-epic-awesomest” mummy ever.

But I’m also, full-time housemaid, chef, laundry woman and most lately elderly carer.

And a business owner – which as you can see is not very far up the list due to all the other stuff that has to be done.

Then there’s the fact that I am still living with my parents and trying to bring up my child – can you see where this one’s heading? Yup! I say something to SC, they yell at me, for getting cross with him, and then in the next breath say I’m letting him rule the roost!!

And yes, I am extremely lucky that I do have my parents there if I am unable to do the school run because I need to be at work early, or can’t get home in time, or if I am unwell they are to help.

So, it’s not a doddle.  It certainly wasn’t a career choice and I wouldn’t say I ‘own’ it!

And yes, there are times, quite a lot if truth be told, where I wish there was handsome prince, just someone to talk to – about anything, someone to share the load with, someone to put their arm around me and say “don’t worry, I’m here for you, I’ll protect you!”

So, it is hard, very hard indeed, but it does have an extremely brilliant plus side.

SC and I have the most amazing relationship. The bond is unbreakable. And yes, I know, he’s only mine for a short time, but right now he is my entire world.

We are a team!

And I wouldn’t swap what we have, or have had, for anything.

 

 

 

 

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Do You Deserve Everything You Get?

Someone said to me yesterday that I deserved everything I got!

This was said with malice, I hasten to add.

And that got me thinking, do I, or anyone else come to think of it, deserve what they get in life?

And thinking further is it actually what we deserve, or merely a physical manifestation of our innermost wants, which we ourselves are oblivious of until such time as ‘we get what we deserve’?

And without getting too philosophical or psychological is it perhaps the universe giving us what it knows we can handle?

I remember watching a film, think it was “The Wedding Date”, with Debra Messing (her off Will & Grace) and the father, played by the rather swoonsome Paul Egan, said to Debra Messing’s character that women get the love life they want.

So men, or women who get treated badly, is it because they want to be treated badly, or is it because they have such low self-esteem that they think they don’t deserve to be treated well?

And that got me thinking again? (And we all know how much I think, and boy has it given me a stinker of a headache!!)

So, I tried to take the philosophy that what we get is merely a physical manifestation of our innermost wants and apply it to some areas of my life.

And here’s what I came up with:

Love

Being a true romantic at heart, with a head full of fairy-tales, I believe in there being a Prince Charming out there somewhere.

In reality though I know Prince Charming doesn’t exist. So maybe, when I thought I’d got close to that fairytale, it was with someone I knew, deep down, could and would never be mine? So I got the fairytale in my imagination, but being reality it never really existed in the first place!

Life

I obviously didn’t set out to be a single-mother, but that is the situation I find myself in. Is this merely a physical manifestation of the fact that I thrive on a challenge and find ‘normality’ tedious? I suppose that could be true – after all I was constantly on the move in my career pre-SC – not that I have any lingering wishes towards Mr Wrong No. 2, far from it. Maybe the Universe dealt me this card because it knew I had the wherewithal to cope – although some days I seriously doubt its judgement!

Work

Nothing is ever handed to anyone, and you have to work for what you want. There are no quick wins to fame or fortune, so to speak, except through hard work. That’s what makes slogging your guts out worthwhile, when you can see the results of all that hard work. Sometimes it takes a lifetime. And again, maybe deep down the reason I keep going, is because I’m not a quitter and I just want to prove everyone wrong – just once – and show that I can do it!

It’s not a perfect explanation, but at least its got the thoughts out of my head, and relieved some of the headache!

I don’t believe we deserve what we get!

I believe we all have the power to overcome anything in life, if we choose too, rather than sitting down, doing nothing and letting life pass us by.

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