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Men in Tights!

What is it about men and stockings?

Not men wearing stockings, but men wanting women to wear stockings.

Is it because it reminds them of the stereotypical French Maid, and pre-conceived ideas of women of that ilk? Or is it because they think it gives them easier access?

Not to put a damper on things boys, but they are uncomfortable.

In my case I always have to buy large or extra-large stockings, due to leg length (yes, I have actually got legs longer than Julia Roberts and I am shorter than her!), which means width-wise they would fit an elephant, and so I achieve a very sexy Nora Batty look, i.e., wrinkly round the ankles! šŸ˜‰

Similarly, who in their right mind would want to faffĀ about with suspender belts? Clasping the front ones on are fine – if the little suckers actually go through the hole they are supposed to. But don’t even get me started on the back ones, you try toĀ line them up centre back, clasp them, only to find they are clasped somewhere around your hip bone. Grrrrrr

I suppose that’s why hold-ups were invented.

Again, great idea, but what happens when the ‘sort-of’ sticky bit at the top of your hold-up decides it really isn’t going to stick? There you are walking down the street, or round the office and suddenly ….OOPS … you’ve got a hold-up round your ankle. What’s a girl to do? Casually reach down and pull the offending article back up, or make a dash to the nearest convenience? It rates up there with leaving the ladies with your skirt tucked in!

To be fair, I did wear hold-ups when I was pregnant, for the simple fact tights were uncomfortable over the bump!

On a comfort scale stockingsĀ and suspendersĀ rate right up there with thongs. Thank you all the same but I prefer not to walk around with dental floss up my backside and giving myself bruises every time I sit down due to the suspender clasps digging into my thighs.

Don’t get me wrong, suspenders are great if you’re having a night in!!!! šŸ˜‰

But please, on a night out when I’m all dressed up, please let me be comfortable rather than spending the evening fiddling with what may look like my backside but is in fact the suspender belt, which is driving me crazy!!!

If you really think they’re sexy, please feel free to try them out for yourselves. Who knows, you may find it liberating!

I know several men who have no problems wearing them, and damn it, have great legs into the bargain. But you may just find out what an absolute pain in the rear end they are!!

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