Tag Archives: family

Friday Poem – I Believe

i-believeBrowsing through the Top 500 poems list, looking for a suitable poem for today, I stumbled across this truly wonderful poem by Sienna Harlequinn.

Her name is all I could find out. But the poem speaks volumes and pretty much sums up my philosophy on life.

So, enjoy it:

I BELIEVE

I believe that the sun shines after the rain
I believe if you don’t get hurt you’ll never gain
I believe in not doing things the easy way
I believe that being selfish doesn’t pay

I believe in a second chance
I believe in a life long romance
I believe there is life after death
And standing up to a life of mess

I believe in love at first sight
I believe that revenge isn’t right
I believe that first impressions last
And there is nothing better then a good laugh

I believe that dreams do come true
I believe there’s destiny for me and you
I believe that good things come to those who wait
I believe love never arrives too late

I believe something good comes from something bad
I believe that for tears of happiness there are tears of sad
I believe everyone has a guardian angel
And the good you do will be rewarded well

I believe sometimes there is no explanation
I believe money can’t buy people’s affection
I believe you don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone
I believe a new day arrives with every dawn

I believe a smile can be contagious
I believe in being very outrageous
I believe in living with no regrets
I believe that life is as good as it gets

I believe that God watches over us
I believe the little things are worth the fuss
I believe you have each friend for a reason
I believe you will get punished for treason

I believe that what comes first is family
I believe we should all live in harmony
I believe in making the most of a beautiful day
And it’s not the end until everything’s okay

I believe absence makes the heart grow fonder
I believe you will lose if you sit and wonder
I believe every experience teaches you a lesson
And nothing cures better then a drinking session

I believe everyone has one true love
I believe sometimes we need a little shove
I believe the whole world is a stage
I believe we only get better with age

I believe that to learn you have to live
I believe that to love someone you have to give
I believe one moment can change your life
And there’s still help when you’re in strife

I believe everyone has one true friend
I believe love helps a broken heart mend
I believe in the power of a song
And things will change before too long

I believe living is the best experience
I believe in not laughing at other people’s expense
I believe it’s hard to watch a lover leave
And when they’re gone all you can do is breath

I believe to always look on the bright side
I believe that life is just one big ride
I believe when I die people will grieve
But it’s ok because I believe

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A-Z of Life – Gratitude

gratitudeGratitude – the quality of being thankful or to show appreciation for and to return kindness.

Sometimes in this world the ability to be grateful seems to pass people by.

Rather than being grateful for what they have, they grumble about what they haven’t got.

And even more simple, they just plain forget manners and never say thank you when they receive something, be it someone holding the door open, giving them a present or something more significant like a job!

It’s not difficult to be grateful. I have found that if I start the day by being grateful for what I have then my day starts on an even more positive note and I am grateful for everything that comes into my life that day – good, bad or indifferent, there’s always a reason to be grateful for it.

Here are 10 things that I am always grateful for every day (my list is a lot longer, but I whittled it down to 10 generic things):

  1. I am grateful for my health
  2. I am grateful for my friends
  3. I am grateful for my family’s love and support
  4. I am grateful for the memories
  5. I am grateful for every opportunity thrown at me
  6. I am grateful for the lessons I have learned
  7. I am grateful for SC – he is a blessing in my life
  8. I am grateful for the happiness I find in life
  9. I am grateful for my gifts and talents
  10. I am grateful for today and the wonders that lie in wait for me.

So, what are you grateful for?

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What does Christmas mean to you?

Chaos? Spending too much? Eating too much? Parties? Family get-togethers? Arguments? Magic? Children? Loneliness?Nativity-Scene

The list is endless.

Christmas means something different for everyone.

Christmas is a celebration, not of commercialism, but the birth of Jesus.

For me, Christmas means hope.

Hope – that the world will eventually become a better place.

Hope – that new beginnings will lead to a bright new day.

Hope – that I will find my way again.

What does it mean to you?

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Fathers…

An interesting phrase which I hadn’t heard until a few months ago:fool

“Any fool can be a father. But it takes a real man to be a daddy.”

And it’s so true.

Take Mr Wrong No. 2 – SC’s father. He’s the kind of man who thinks he’s wonderful and whose mother told him, obviously so very often that he actually believes it, that his father had taught him how to be a good father.

I beg to differ.

This is the man who took SC at 3 days old, after saying he was going to give him a hug, only to sit him propped up on cushions whilst he ignored him and continued reading his paper.

This is the man who spent most of SC’s first year totally ignoring him at the weekends. Instead of getting down on the floor and inter-acting he just totally ignored him and read his newspaper.

This is the man who gleefully watched me struggle carrying baby in car seat, bag of toys, changing bag and handbag down flights of concrete steps, whilst he swanned about with his newspaper.

This is a man who never once gave SC a cuddle. Even now he doesn’t when he comes on the ‘fortnightly state visit’, he doesn’t hug him, or kiss him.

This is the man who said, although his oh-so-amazing-brain has conveniently forgotten, that SC didn’t need him until he was about 8 or 9 years old.

This is the man who said we should go and live with my parents – probably so he could carry on with goodness-only knows what woman that particular week.

This man is not a father – he thinks he is but he isn’t.

He swans about, but in reality he hasn’t got a clue.

Take today, there was a fun day where we live, so I said for him to meet us there. SC loves the outdoors. He had a go at archery, watched the sheep being shorn, climbed inside the fire engine and tractors (several times) and then he found the straw!

Now, he decided a good idea would be to grab a handful of straw and throw it at Mr Wrong No. 2 – now most men who are great dads would get in the spirit and join in and throw some back.

But, oh no! Not Mr Wrong No. 2 he got the right hump. Stuck a face on him like he’d sucked a lemon to quickly and swallowed a pip, shook the straw off and crossly said “don’t do that!” whilst re-doing his Mr Baldy Man hair-do. SC’s face dropped like a stone, and from then on he was very quiet and subdued.

To be honest, my dad is the one who has been there for SC.

My dad is the one SC calls ‘daddy’ (bit weird I know, but he is the only male role model he’s really ever known). If I’m working and my dad has to pick him up from school he tells his teacher “my daddy is picking me up today!” As far as Mr Wrong No. 2 is concerned, he’s just some ‘friend’ who comes to ‘play’ (in the loosest sense of the word, if you can call sprawling over the floor for half an hour before he gets bored and then practically throws his phone with games on at SC to keep him from having to actually interact) occasionally!

My dad is the one who wrestles on the floor (I do too, I hasten to add) and we both kick the ball about the garden.

My dad is a daddy.

I know I’m a source of constant disappointment to him, but he’s my dad and he loves me (I hope).

He’s always there for me and I can always count on him if I need advice – my mum too but for different kind of advice.

He’s a great dad, he has been for me and now he’s a great role model for SC. (Although probably not quite what he envisaged doing in his retirement!)

In some ways, I’m also having to learn to be daddy to SC as well as mummy.

It’s a tough job.

I’m the one that goes off and does boys stuff with him – like cars and bikes and museums.

I’m the one who knows what he likes and dislikes, what gives him nightmares, and how rotten a time he’s having a school.

I’m dreading him growing up and me having to have ‘that talk’ with him. I’m hoping my dad will still be around to help out.

 

Thanks Dad – Happy Father’s Day

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The Psychology of Me

Psychology is all about studying how we think, feel and act.

So I thought it might be quite amusing to try to work out the psychology of me!

 

I think too much. I feel too much. I act too little.

I think with my soul. I feel with my heart. I act with my conscience.

I think kind thoughts. I feel compassion. I act with empathy.

I think of love. I feel hurt. I act like I don’t care.

I think of life. I feel time passing too quickly. I act too slowly.

I think of work. I feel stressed. I act upon my instincts.

I think of the future. I feel afraid. I act to protect myself.

I think of fun. I feel happy. I act like a child.

I think of people who have hurt me. I feel abused. I act like a victim.

I think of family. I feel blessed. I act grateful.

I think of you. I feel alive. I can act as myself.

I think of happiness. I feel blessed. I act positive.

I think of life. I feel glad. I act happy.

 

But what I think, feel and act, sometimes are at complete odds with each other – because:

I’m the girl that smiles even when I’m broken.

I’m the girl that thinks of others, even when I have no one.

I’m the girl who trusts too much in the hope that one day someone will not let me down.

I’m the girl who acts as if she hasn’t a care in the world, when actually I’m worried to the pit of my stomach about everything.

I’m the girl who looks strong, but would easily break.

But I’m the girl who picks herself up every time she falls.

 

 

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A Perfect Morning

…would be one where I wake up still snuggled up to the one I love.window sunlight

Sunlight streaming through the window, a warm breeze wafting gently through the air.

The sound of bird song and nothing else.

Peace. Stillness. Perfection.

And then silence is broken by the noise of happy children running into the bedroom and catapaulting themselves onto the bed eager to start the day with a hug.

A family breakfast full of noise, chatter and total chaos.

A large cup of tea (decaffeinated).

And then a shower – a chance to collect my thoughts, to wake myself up and get ready for the day ahead … and whatever it may throw at me.

… One day 😉

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Can Women Have It All?

The perfect life – good job, lovely home, happy family, no money worries – you know the one.juggling-woman

In a nutshell, no.

I don’t believe that women can have it all – believe me, I’ve tried.

It’s a big balancing act, but however hard we try something has to give.

And being a single mum makes life just that little bit more … interesting, lets say 😉

Life is all about choices.

I chose not to go back to what I did BC (Before Child) as I wanted to enjoy every single precious moment of his baby/toddler hood. It was my choice. I was lucky in that I was not reliant on having to go back to work, as I had enough ‘rainy day’ budget in the funds (in my own right, not Mr Wrong No. 2) to be able to just about afford to.

Obviously, like with all rainy day funds they dry up eventually and when that time came I searched around to find something that would fit around SC, school holidays, etc. Now I know jobs like these are as rare as hen’s teeth, so I chose to invest in a franchise.

It seemed like a good potential – something different to the norm, work my own hours around SC.

But in trying to juggle getting a business off the ground (especially in the current economy), looking after SC, and doing all the other things that I do – 3 years on I find my self reflecting that I have failed to do anything anywhere near as perfect as a superwoman should be able to manage. (Obviously then I realise that I don’t have a nanny, a PA, a cleaner, a personal shopper, etc to do all these things for me, whilst I just go off and get manicured, coiffured and spray tanned!)

SC has remained the top of my priority list and therefore I have not put as much effort into building a business as I should. Failure on the good job front!

The effort I have put into building some business has meant that SC has not had me around as much. Failure on the happy family front!

The lack of business means that I worry about just about everything pretty much 24 hours a day. Failure on the stress front!

Buying a franchise, especially those that target mothers who want to work around their children, should really have a warning notice attached saying “this is only suitable for women with a husband who only need a little bit of extra income, and not those looking to make a living out of it!”.

And I’m deadly serious about that. In the network I belong to I would stake that not one of the women working takes home anything near enough to put food on the table, pay a mortgage and bills, plus all the other things having children comes with, let alone buying clothes for themselves!

My priority is SC and the need to provide for him.

I am therefore faced with a dilemma.

I need to provide a secure future for him, the only way I can see me being able to do that is to go back to what I did do – always supposing I can get back into it. But by doing this, I will not be able to do the school run, or take him to his after-school activities, or the other mummy things that get done during the week. Failure on the being a good mummy front!

If I continue with what I am doing I will not be able to provide for him. Failure on every front imaginable!

So no, women can’t have it all.

You end up being a jack-of-all-trades but master of none!

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When God Created Mothers…

This is a poem I found by Erma Bombeck and American humourist, who wrote a newspaper column depicting suburban home life from the mid-1960s.Renaissance Madonna & Child

This poem is very clever and witty but more to the point very true!

When God Created Mothers

When the Good Lord was creating mothers, He was into His sixth day of “overtime” when the angel appeared and said. “You’re doing a lot of fiddling around on this one.”

And God said, “Have you read the specs on this order?

  • She has to be completely washable, but not plastic.
  • Have 180 moveable parts…all replaceable.
  • Run on black coffee and leftovers.
  • Have a lap that disappears when she stands up.
  • A kiss that can cure anything from a broken leg to a disappointed love affair.
  • And six pairs of hands.”

The angel shook her head slowly and said. “Six pairs of hands…. no way.”

“It’s not the hands that are causing me problems,” God remarked, “it’s the three pairs of eyes that mothers have to have.”

“That’s on the standard model?” asked the angel. God nodded.

“One pair that sees through closed doors when she asks, ‘What are you kids doing in there?’ when she already knows. Another here in the back of her head that sees what she shouldn’t but what she has to know, and of course the ones here in front that can look at a child when he goofs up and say. ‘I understand and I love you’ without so much as uttering a word.”

“God,” said the angel touching his sleeve gently, “Get some rest tomorrow….”

“I can’t,” said God, “I’m so close to creating something so close to myself. Already I have one who heals herself when she is sick…can feed a family of six on one pound of hamburger…and can get a nine year old to stand under a shower.”

The angel circled the model of a mother very slowly. “It’s too soft,” she sighed.

“But tough!” said God excitedly. “You can imagine what this mother can do or endure.”

“Can it think?”

“Not only can it think, but it can reason and compromise,” said the Creator.

Finally, the angel bent over and ran her finger across the cheek.

“There’s a leak,” she pronounced. “I told You that You were trying to put too much into this model.”

“It’s not a leak,” said the Lord, “It’s a tear.”

“What’s it for?”

“It’s for joy, sadness, disappointment, pain, loneliness, and pride.”

You are a genius, ” said the angel.

Somberly, God said, “I didn’t put it there.”

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I’ll tell you what I want … What I really, really want

Now, I know that “I want” never gets, as I’m forever telling SC.

But, in my life there’s a fine line between what I wanted and what I got!

Yes, I am blessed with SC, and I forever thankful of that, but other things always seem out of reach. So here’s what I want:

I want a life filled with love and laughter.

I have this silly picture in my mind of my home – with me, my knight and our family. Laughter and happiness abound, but above all when the welcoming front door is opened you are hit with an intense feeling of warmth and love.

I’m not such a fool to think that it is all fabulous. I know there will be heartache along the way, but at least I won’t be alone in fighting the demons that come a’knocking!

I want a home filled with noise and music.

I am a naturally loud person, something SC has inherited. I can’t help it. My parents say I talk as if I was on the National Theatre stage trying to reach deaf old Aunt Ada at the back, whereas Mr Wrong No. 1 always ‘had a go’ at me for ‘projecting’. Like I say, I’ve got a loud voice – far too many years on the stage darrrrling!

My parents like quiet, so it’s always tense in the house, as I’m trying to keep SC’s noise levels to a minimum (maybe that’s way I’m such a stressed out mummy?).

As far as I’m concerned, noise is good – I know there are times when silence can, indeed, be golden and a welcome break – but in my experience a noisy home, is generally a happy one!

In my ‘dream’ our home would be full of noise – happy noise and music.

When SC was a baby, and we were alone in the house, I used to crank up the stereo, and we would have a marvellous time – I would have him in my arms and we would dance around with me belting out show tunes (which are a particular favourite of mine)

As far as I’m concerned, music is essential for a happy home – it can instantly lighten the mood 😉

To be honest, I’m happy to listen to anything. I never say never to listening to something new – although I do have a soft spot for show tunes (as I mentioned) and cheesy 80s pop music 😉

Finally, I want a knight in shining armour.

I don’t want a troll under the bridge – had enough of those to last me several lifetimes, thank you.

I don’t want to be messed around. I don’t want to be a convenient intermission whilst someone sorts out their problems. I don’t want to be led up the garden path with promises only for it to all be smashed in my face again, as the other party walks away laughing and I’m left to pick up the pieces of my life once more. I don’t want to be a rehearsal for someone until they decide they’re going to marry an internet bride. Shall I go on?

I know knights don’t really exist. I don’t even want “diamond sunbursts or marble halls”. I just want someone kind, caring, honest and true. Someone that I can laugh with, talk to and who can be my best friend.

Is that too much to ask?

My knight in shining armour not only has to fall in love with me though, but he has to love children and want to have a family.

I come as a package deal you see – you get me and SC. I like to think of it as  BOGOF offer 😉

He’s going to have to be able to step in and become a stable male role model to SC ( as well as any others we may be blessed with).

It’s a big ask of anyone to take on someone else’s child and help raise him. I know, my last 2 disasters have both involved me being typecast as the wicked stepmother. I know I am not cut out for it, but in some ways I feel it’s harder for a woman, than it is for a man.

So my knight will have to be very special indeed as I’m not a stereotypical single mother who will introduce her child to a different ‘uncle’ when the weather changes.

I want a family for keeps!

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10 interesting (or not) facts about me!

So, here you go 10 interesting (or not) facts about “l’il ol’ me!”

  1. I don’t smoke or drink – prefer not to harm my lungs or liver! I don’t drink purely because I don’t like the taste – some wines really would be better being poured over a plate of chips! And smoking, ladies, whatever the magazines and films may make you think does not look glamorous, or cool. But just because I don’t drink or smoke does not mean I don’t know how to enjoy myself 😉
  2. I love the smell of coffee but cannot stand the taste. Seriously, I love the smell you get from opening a jar of coffee, but can’t drink it, no matter how milky, frothy or decorated with sprinkles you make it! I prefer a good old cup of tea. Brewed the builder’s way – tea-bag in mug, milk, no sugar, preferably de-caffeinated but not compulsory 😉
  3. I’m allergic to e-numbers and chocolate! That’s right chocolate. I go totally haywire, and you end up having to scrape me off the ceiling. Not a pretty sight. Chocolate gives most people an incredible high – that’s why everyone loves it – but some for some people it has the opposite effect. As for me, well if I have chocolate or e-numbers I make Mr Hyde look like a pussy cat. I literally writhe about on the floor wanting to rip every limb of my body out of its socket to replace it as my muscles completely tense up.
  4. I’m an old-fashioned romantic at heart – still waiting for a handsome prince to sweep me off my feet. I don’t think there’s anything wrong in that. A girl should be wooed by a potential suitor – hearts and flowers (deep red fragrant roses obviously and happen to be my favourite) and all that jazz. It is all about romance – don’t let Cosmo or Elle tell you any different. Deep down, every girl wants the fairytale.
  5. I love reading. I’ll read anything. I pick books literally by scanning the shelves and looking at the front cover. If I like what I see I’ll buy it. I’ve read some hummers mind you. But have also read some surprisingly good ones. I am lucky that I can skim read (I can also read upside-down, but that’s only handy in interviews 😉 ) so without interruption I can read a book in about a day. I went on a fortnight’s holiday once and took 6 books with me. Take away the 2 travel days and 3 excursion days. I read all 6 in the remaining 9 – and still had time to read one again!
  6. I am completely obsessed when it comes to washing my clothes – no one, but myself can touch my washing. For the simple fact all washing machines shrink clothes! Once they are washed – on the gentlest cycle and lowest spin setting – they have to be stretched to within an inch of their life. I am at one with my obsession! But don’t think you’d be doing me a favour by doing my washing, seriously, and don’t even think tumble drier unless you want Mr Hyde to reappear!
  7. Pants – another obsession. I want a pair of pants to cover my backside. I don’t do dental floss up my bum and seriously if I wanted boy shorts I’d grow a penis (they are just as bad as G-strings as they end up stuck up your bum. Why is it so difficult to find a pair that covers your bottom. Even those that are supposed to … don’t – yes I’m talking M&S!
  8. I love cooking. I have a raft of recipe books, but at the moment very little time to actually try out different recipes. My friends used to call me the ‘dessert queen’ as I always came up trumps with pudding – essential I feel to finish off the meal. If I go out to eat I prefer main and dessert to starter and main.
  9. I’ve been vegetarian since I was 14 – not through any moral standing, just purely based on watching a video in a biology lesson about how they killed animals. My friend and I looked at each other and said “not eating meat again!” – she caved after a few weeks, I’m still going. To be honest, never was a huge fan of meat. I eat fish, and have no problems handling and cooking meat for others.
  10. I am a single mother. It certainly wasn’t a path I envisaged, but that just serves me right for picking a toad! Still, I am blessed with SC, and thank the angels every day for sending me such a wonderful gift. I didn’t want SC to be an only child, when I was little I always wanted 6 children! Now I think 2 or 3 would be a good number – if pushing it, considering my age and lack of handsome prince. But if I’m a really good girl, one day, who knows, maybe I’ll get to play happy families like everyone else 😉

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