Tag Archives: disappointment

The A-Z of Life – Happiness

We all want to be happy.

Sometimes we just let life get to us, and end up wishing for happiness, wishing our lives were different, wishing our lives were like other people who seem to be so happy.

Happiness takes on many forms – we would be happier if we earned more money, we would be happier if we had what other people had, we would be happier if we could be more successful, etc.

But happiness doesn’t come from outside influences.

Happiness comes from inside.

We are ultimately responsible for our own happiness.

If we cannot be happy with ourselves, then we will never be happy. And it won’t matter how many friends you have, how much money you make, etc.

So how do we become happy?

There seems to be no miracle cure – believe me, I’ve looked, and if there were I’d bottle it and make a fortune 😉

We just have to look at our lives and look for the good not the disappointments, look forward not back.

If we can cling onto one good thought, one time in our lives when we were happy, that surely is a step on to the ladder?

Then if we can be thankful for one thing in our lives each day, slowly we should be able to see a glimmer of light.

I have been at the bottom of the ladder.

I haven’t made it to the top yet, and some days I slip down a few rungs.

But I am happy with who I am – I am by no means perfect, but I am aware of my faults and can live with them 😉

I am happy with my life – it may not be picture perfect like everyone elses appears to be, but I am happy to be alive, with a head full of ideas 😉

I am happy with my state of mind – I try to find the good in everything and everyone 😉

I’m happy to be me 😉

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I’m one big disappointment!

Why do I feel that I am one big disappointment after another in my father’s eyes?clock

He was the one who taught me to be independent, and yet I failed.

He was the one who taught me that if you work hard you reap the rewards, and yet I failed.

He was the one who taught me to be careful, and yet I failed.

Everything I try, I do to try to please my father, and yet I fail.

Even when other people ‘lavish’ praise on my efforts, not one word of praise escapes my fathers lips.

I can’t even remember my father saying he loved me, like most fathers do to their offspring.

I’m at a crossroads in my life where I need to make big decisions about where I am headed in order to make a good life for SC.

Yet in my father’s eyes everything is black and white – I have to do either A or B.

I have ideas, but he says that they should just be sidelines – yet the problem is, and a lesson I have learned from bitter experience past is that if I go down route A and dabble with ideas, then the ideas are just another chalked-up failure. You cannot do, and give your full attention to 2 different things, especially if you have attention needed from a SC – it just doesn’t work.

Fate, apparently, throws at us what it feels we can deal with.

But you know what?

I’m tired.

I don’t want to have to fight to keep my head above the water every single hour of every single day.

I don’t want to give up, I’m not a quitter, but right now I feel I have no other option.

I want time. Time for me to prove my worth. Time for me to be a good mum (instead of the failure I feel). Time for me to be me.

But I don’t have time.

The clock never stops ticking (which is probably why I hate loud ticking clocks).

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What would you do if you weren’t afraid?

I read an amazing book the other week. I’d heard about it years ago, Mr Wrong No. 1 read it, and I noticed it on the bookshelf in the local bookstore the other week and thought I’d buy it.where to go It’s not very long and only took me an hour to read it, but it was extremely good.

What book was it?

“Who Moved My Cheese?” by Dr Spencer Johnson.

It’s a small story and can be applied to any area of life, work, relationships, health, etc.

I won’t spoil the story, suffice to say it is peppered with good, common sense advice and makes you think about whatever it is you are worried about at the time you read the book.

One of the questions asked is “What would you do if you weren’t afraid?”

You know, that moment of stepping off the precipice into the unknown. Do you step or do you not? Does fear hold you back, or does that fear prompt you into action?

Well, when I read the book my immediate thought was with regard to my business. I have so many ideas that I want to try in order to move things forward, but fear is holding me back.

But what is my ultimate fear?

It certainly isn’t about making a fool of myself and being laughed at from trying – that pretty much happens most of the time, so that I can deal with.

Maybe it’s actually a deep-rooted fear connected with what might happen if I did manage to pull off a big coup – how would that impact SC? would I actually be able to fulfill promises? how would the ‘mother-ship’ feel that I’ve effectively gone over their heads and done something inventive off my own back? etc.

Maybe it’s not connected with that at all, but the mere thought of failure and disappointing my father.

My dad has always been there whenever I’ve needed advice on a business level – but one thing always stand out in his advice, and that is his belief that I, like him, cannot sell. And maybe it’s actually his fear that’s holding me back.

He never fails to remind me, that my weakness is sales and marketing. Even though over the last 6 months I think I’ve lost count of the number of marketing e-books I’ve downloaded and poured over. Not that I’m, by any stretch of the imagination an expert, and would never profess to be, but I think I now know enough to get over the hurdle.

So what would I do if I weren’t afraid?

I would create that website.

I would, pardon the expression, ‘sod’ the mothership and do it anyway – after all, I’m running a business, which I need to make money, not a nice little 2nd income earner. And besides, why would they be upset – probably only because they didn’t think of it first 😉

I would run into the unknown and live every single moment – good, bad, or otherwise.

2013 awaits!

May I wish you a truly peaceful, joyous and blessed new year.

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Letter to SC

To my darling boy

I never knew how much you could love someone until I had you.

I loved you from the moment I found out I was expecting you.

People might think I’m crazy but I talked to you all the time about how much fun we would have and how much I loved you and was looking forward to holding you in my arms.

The first thing I remember after you were born was holding you in my arms thinking how tiny you were and how clumsy I felt. You were so precious and fragile and new, my hands just felt too big and awkward.

But most of all I felt so much love for you, and thanked the angels for sending me the most beautiful gift.

You have grown into an amazing little boy – I am so proud of you.

I’m sorry that you will be an only child. I didn’t want that for you, it’s just the way life has panned out.

And that’s the first lesson I can teach you. That life, sometimes isn’t fair and we don’t always get what we want or think we deserve. You just have to learn to deal with it.

You can either whinge, moan and mope about it, in which case you’ll always be looking back.

Or you can accept the disappointment. It will hurt for a while, but by accepting it you can move on and carry on living and look forward to more wonderful things that await you.

And that’s the second thing I can teach you – never look back, especially with regret or anger. If you do then you are preventing yourself from growing as a person. Sometimes bad things happen in our lives and we can choose to continue to let past hurts affect the present or learn to forgive and leave the past where it belongs as it has no place in the present.

We cannot change the past, we can only learn from mistakes made by ourselves or forgive the actions of others to free ourselves from their chains in order to become happier within ourselves.

Part of the job description of being a parent is guiding you through the path to adulthood by teaching you right from wrong and giving you a good set of morals by which to live. It’s a tricky path and there will be lots of trials and tribulations, but always remember I am there for you. You can tell me anything that’s worrying you and I won’t ever judge. If you stop talking to me, then I can’t help. We are walking the path together and all you have to do is hold my hand and I will help you through.

We’re a team – it’s you and me kiddo.

The third thing I can teach you is to always be yourself. There’s no point in copying the behaviour or actions of others, it does you no favours in the long run. Don’t follow the herd. Always be your own person, know your own mind and be strong. We are all unique individuals with our own special character, talents and faults. We need to be aware of our own talents and faults in equal measure as no one is perfect. If you can acknowledge your own faults, you can help minimise them.

Let people see the real you, and not what you think they want to see. Your true friends will take you for who you are, warts and all, and be there in your time of need. Those who do not, cannot really be said to be friends at all.

The fourth thing I can teach you is to always strive to do your best. Ambition, determination and a will to succeed are not bad assets to have. Nothing in life is ever handed to you on a plate or for free. The only way you can get what you want is by working your hardest for it.

Sometimes ambition, determination and a will to succeed are still not enough. You can give it your all and you might still not get anywhere. This is not a failure though. It is only a failure if you don’t acknowledge that a project has reached its natural conclusion. If you can accept this, then again we learn lessons and we don’t make the same mistakes again.

I will support and encourage you in whatever you want to do. I’m not the type of parent who is going to force my interests on you and make you do something you don’t want to do. We have to find our own things that we enjoy – hobby and work wise. So, if you want to be an astronaut and explore the farthest corner of the galaxy, then you go out there and make it happen 😉

We all have dreams. Dreams are what keep us going in our darkest hours. But sometimes dreams are just that, dreams. I’m not saying you should let go of them, just realise that some dreams won’t come true, however hard you wish 😉 And that’s probably one of the hardest things to learn, but even though a dream won’t come true doesn’t mean you should stop imagining.

And that’s the fifth thing I can teach you. Never let go of your imagination. Without imagination we are nothing. As children we have the most amazing ability to imagine wonderful things and as we grow older convention somehow stifles this creativity. Sometimes though a little imagination goes a long way to solving problems.

The last thing I can teach you is to try to show compassion and kindness to all. It won’t solve all the worlds problems, but by showing empathy it shows you care. Always remember to do as you would be done by.

I love you so much my darling boy, and am trying to be the best mummy I can for you. I’m learning too 😉

xxxx

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