Tag Archives: cuddles

Forget those 3 little words – it’s 6 words that tell a story!

I’m a big fan of the writer Paul Coelho (The Alchemist, Veronika Decides to Die, 11 Minutes, etc). Haven’t got all his books, but have read quite a few. I’ve just finished re-reading “The Alchemist”, digging out Manual of the Warrior Light next to re-read. (Best pop some more on my birthday wish list)

Anyway, he wrote that it only takes 6 words to tell a story. So here are a couple of mine:

  • Waiting, always waiting. That’s my problem.
  • I have faith & hope, nothing else!
  • The past is in the past.
  • Nice girls lose out ‚Ķ always!
  • Sassy single mum. Proud of it!
  • Don’t give up climbing the tree.
  • Knock me down, I bounce back!
  • I love cuddles and my PJs.
  • Life’s a rollercoaster. Enjoy the ride!
  • I trust you. Don’t disappoint me.
  • I’m thankful and grateful every day.

Your turn ūüėČ

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If you were a Superhero – what would your name & superpower be?

superherosDarn it, Wonder Woman’s already taken!

Hmmm!¬† Guess I’ll have to go with my second choice then – PJ Girl!!!

Saving the world in her pyjamas.

So that’s a name sorted, now what about a superpower?

I always thought it would be kind of cool to be able to stop time to say something, do something, or in the case of being a superhero saving something without anyone else being able to witness it on account of them being ‘frozen in time’.¬† Just like Piper’s power in Charmed (loved that series)

But if I want a really good superpower, that just seems a bit lame.

Being immortal’s not¬†a superpower really is it? Nah, didn’t think so.

Hmm, that’s quite tricky.

Ooo, how about the power to read minds. That way you would know what people were thinking before they actually did anything and you could foil any dastardly plans they were hatching – and not just in the nick of time.

Maybe, as well as reading minds what if you could manipulate minds too?¬† Or is that straying away from superhero and into super villainess territory?¬† (I reckon I’m more of a naughty super villain actually than a hero if truth be told ūüėČ )

OK, no freezing time, no being immortal, no reading (or manipulating) minds ….

Thinking … Thinking …

Ooo … Nope

Oh, do you ever do that thing if someone in front of you – either in a queue, or in a car in front – does something really stupid and you throw your hands up almost as if you’re flicking something that would just hit their ears and make them wonder what it was?

Not a b***h slap – PJ Girl is a little bit more refined than that please.

Almost like a little splash of water on their ears, just enough to make them notice, but not too much. (Like Deborah Kerr in “An Affair to Remember” when she was being whispered about and she dipper her fingers into the pink champagne and proceeded to then flick it at the women who were gossiping about her – class act)

That would be fun to do, but it’s not really¬†a superpower is it?

This is really tricky – if I had the power to do anything, what would I do?

Staying with the Charmed theme, I’ve always wanted to be able to move things with my mind. That would be really handy in a superhero fight.

But maybe, if I’m PJ Girl (saving the world in my PJs) maybe instead of moving things with my mind, maybe I should be able to change people’s emotions with my mind (OK that’s not quite as evil as manipulating them) and save them with cuddles – then I can climb back onto my unicorn and fly off into the sunset ūüėČ

Guess I’m all for mind manipulation after all (MWA HA HA¬†)D )

 

 

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A-Z of Life – Compassion

compassionThe very definition of compassion is the sympathetic pity and concern for the sufferings or misfortunes of others.

But being wrapped up in our own very stressful and demanding lives we can sometimes walk by on the other side of the road.

Or we walk by not because we don’t want to help but we don’t know how, or we feel unsure that we aren’t going to get swindled or robbed by stopping.

Or worse, we see pictures of people in plight, take pity on them, but heaven forbid they come and live in my backyard type of attitude.

We are all very good it seems at dipping into our purses for huge disaster fund-raising appeals, or telethon, which is brilliant in its own way, but does compassion really have to be a huge gesture.

Sometimes an act of compassion can be something as simple as a hug, asking if someone is OK, being an ear to listen (just listen and not offer advice unless asked for) or simply respecting when someone needs time alone to gather their strength or their thoughts.

And acts of compassion can start at home, but it can be difficult.

18 months ago my mum nearly died because the doctors failed to notice she was literally filling up with fluid as her kidneys were failing. Thankfully, action was taken in the nick of time, and she’s still here.¬† But since then her health has deteriorated and although she’s still my mum, she’s not the woman I knew – if that makes sense.

Technically now, aside from her kidneys, which have stabilised, there is nothing wrong with her. But it has taken its toll mentally, and she has slid into that downward spiral of depression. Most days she gets up and sits in her chair – sleeping most of the time – and it is a great day if she gets dressed.

It’s certainly taken its toll on my dad, whose temper spring is wound more tightly than ever.

And some days it is difficult¬†to find compassion when you can see that she might feel better if she actually got dressed, ate something, or tried to go outside for a breath of fresh air, but that she isn’t doing anything to help and it looks like she is just sitting there waiting to die!

But I try to show compassion by trying to understand how she must be feeling and pretty much taking over the household stuff. After all she’s my mum and I love her.

I have always tried to be a compassionate person. I have always been there for anyone who wants to chat, or needs a hug, or if anything wants doing I have always offered, and I always will.

I found a lovely article which gave 5 ways you can show compassion:

  1. Lighten a load – simply by offering to do something for someone else. It could be as simple as offering your seat on public transport or offering to do the shopping for an elderly neighbour.
  2. Give a hug – and from someone who loves cuddles, this is my favourite. A hug shows you care. A hug says what you want without actually having to say anything at all. Quite simply it means I’m here for you.
  3. See yourself in them – or simply have empathy, the ability to put yourselves in their shoes. You don’t necessarily have to have the answers to fix anything, just by being aware of their situation and trying to understand how you would feel and act in their shoes. Maybe they’re overworked and tired and just need some alone time, if that were me the last thing I would want is to be interrupted in my own head space, so the best thing to do is let them have their time alone and not bother them.¬† It doesn’t mean that you don’t care, but that you respect them.
  4. Let your heart-break – we’ve all seen the heart-breaking ads on television from charities. And yes we can donate money, but sometimes maybe we can help out nearer home by volunteering a few hours to drive elderly people to appointments, or help out at a group for disadvantaged children.¬† When I was in sixth form I did voluntary community service once a week at an old people’s home, and loved spending the afternoon chatting and having cups of tea with them. These days I volunteer at school on the PTA, and do various jobs at church.
  5. Respond always – this one is a little bit like having empathy, but if you need to speak make sure it’s always something positive. So if someone sounds a bit down try to give them a boost and say how amazing they are.

I guess, what I’m trying to say is that with a bit of compassion for our fellow humans, maybe we can start making the world a nicer place to live in!

What do you think?

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What do cuddles mean to you?

I love cuddles!

I’m a huggy person – and I am not ashamed to admit it!

Cuddles are great to give and receive.

SC and I have a morning ritual, whilst his cereal is warming up, whereby I sit on the floor with my arms outstretched and he runs from the other side of the room and flings himself at me and we just have a huge hug.

In the evenings, just before I read him his stories, we have another ritual, whereby we have a huge hug and I tell him how much I love him – which is, to quote a very famous spaceman, “to infinity and beyond!”

If I’m feeling a bit “out of sorts” he instinctively knows and just gives me a big cuddle and says “I love you¬†Mummy” – and that makes the world right again ūüėČ

Hugs are also a great way of telling friends you’re there, when words can sometimes fail, in times of trouble.

And when you are with someone special, for me, cuddles are far more intimate and sensuous than anything.

I would rather spend a night enveloped in someone’s arms (and¬†cuddling back)¬†feeling loved, safe, and all those feelings that go with it, than anything else on earth.

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Out of the Mouthes of Babes – “I Don’t Want to Grow Up!”

SC’s had a pretty rotten couple of weeks. He has been having a little trouble at school – some of it of his own making I admit.peter pan

Anyway, he was in the car the other night after a particularly horrendous day and he blurted out, “Mummy, I don’t like life!”

What, it transpired, he actually meant was that he didn’t like school – so obviously I had to tell him that all schools would be the same and that there would be nice children and not-so-nice children, just like where he is at the moment, but they would just have different names and faces. (Whilst I was saying it I was having a memory flash of my mum saying exactly the same to me, when I wanted to move house and change schools!)

And because he is just like me, in pretty much every aspect, it has obviously been playing on his mind. He woke up very early this morning (and when I say very, I actually mean stupidly early, like 3am!) complaining of tummy ache.

He said the tummy ache came and went, and “it feels like I’m going to vomit, but I’m not!” (translate to mean “I feel nauseous”). By 6am he was doubled in pain, so I called the doctor and made an appointment (very panicky mum thinking it was appendicitis – it wasn’t, it was just stress – he did exactly the same as I do, sore tummy, throw up bile, feel better!)

As he lay in bed cuddled up to me with a hot water bottle on his tummy he suddenly, out of the blue said “Mummy, I don’t want to grow up!”

“It’s OK darling,” I said, “I didn’t either. I always wanted to be 4 for ever. We can’t do anything to stop it unfortunately, but we can always be young in our hearts and minds!”

Growing up is tough, being a grown up is tough, but at the end of the day it’s all a journey!

It would be nice to live in Neverland though ūüėČ

 

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Top 5 Tips for New Parents

Royalist or not, as the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge (along with millions of other parents around the world), welcome their new bundle of joy into the world (and yes, I have a bet on the name!) I thought I would rake my brains to come up with a top 5 tip list.

When I had SC (just over 6 years now) there was all the build-up for 9 months and then there he was this tiny little human being that I was in charge of looking after and nurturing. It was very emotional – before they arrive you have absolutely no idea how much a child completely and utterly takes over your life. I¬†was very much, before I had him, “Oh, I’ll be back working within a fortnight.” In reality the moment I held him against my chest a few seconds after he had been born I never wanted to leave him for one second, he was, and is so precious. I never wanted to miss a minute of him.

Children are a precious gift and from the moment they are born, we, as parents have a responsibility to raise them to becomes good, kind, thoughtful and responsible adults.

Parenthood doesn’t come from instruction manuals – no matter how many you read (and I read quite a few) – it’s a massive learning curve, especially with your first-born and we all make mistakes (I’ve made plenty) but if we do our best everything will turn out all right.

So here are my personal top 5 tips for new parents:

5.¬† They don’t break!

I remember when I first held SC how incredibly clumsy I felt. I was holding this tiny wriggling baby and it just felt as if every time I went to pick him up my hands had suddenly morphed into clown hands – you know where the hands are five times the size, just like those false ‘pointy finger’ hands people wear at Baseball games – and that if I picked him up wrongly he would somehow break like a china doll. It did take my midwife and my mum to reassure me that this wasn’t the case, and it really was just a case of practice makes perfect. Like changing a nappy and lifting up the legs to pop the clean one underneath the baby’s bottom – you are not going to do any harm lifting the feet up together in one hand…Oh yes, you do learn how to do many things one-handed – chopping vegetables is a positive art form one-handed!!

4.  Work Together

I was not fortunate enough to have a ‘hands on dad’, someone who would do his share of getting up early in the morning, or even just taking the baby out for a walk whilst I did a normal thing like take a shower! If you are that fortunate, you need to work together to find a routine that works for everyone – so that dad gets his fair share of changing nappies, and the early morning shift, but that he also gets to help out with the fun stuff like bath time and bed time routines. The early days are very testing for any new parents, mothers get very emotional around day 4/5 after the birth – the baby blue period – and the lack of sleep in the early days doesn’t help with tempers which is why being supportive and there for each other is vitally important in my opinion.

3.  Talk to your Baby

This might sound completely crazy, after all it’s a new-born baby, but read to your baby, talk to it, sing to it, make silly noises – it all helps with the bonding process. I started reading stories to SC the day he was born – I know he didn’t understand the stories (it was one of my favourite childhood books “The Tales of Blackberry Farm”) – but its the sound of your voice and the closeness that reading together creates. Even now, at the grand old age of 6 he will climb onto my lap with a book (we have progressed to Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn) and snuggle into my arms whilst I read, and he still has a story before he goes to bed. The other thing I used to do was have him facing me in his buggy, and talk to him whilst going round the shops about what I needed to buy – I swear everyone in the supermarket thought I was completely nuts, but all interaction is good interaction! And I used to sing to him, anytime! I would pop him lying¬†on his back on my legs and sing¬†nursery rhymes to him and then I would pop on my musical CDs and belt out showtunes…no wonder he has a penchant for them now (and ABBA and rock music!)

2.  Cuddles

Everyone loves cuddles and there’s no need to wait for an excuse to cuddle your baby! Cuddles are fab! Cuddles are part of the bonding process. I think I spent the first 2 years cuddling SC. Literally! If we weren’t playing, he would be in my arms whilst I was doing chores. He fell asleep being cuddled. And now, we have a morning cuddle routine where I sit on the floor and he rushes from one end of the room to me and jumps onto my lap and we give each other the biggest cuddles ever, and a night-time cuddle routine, and then after-school cuddles and¬†plain old ‘jus cos’ cuddles. Children will grow out of cuddling parents all to soon so you need to get¬†a lifetimes worth into a short space!

1.  Trust Your Instincts

My top tip is to trust your instincts. You know your baby better than anyone. Everyone will be all too happy to give their own opinion and advice. You will read far too many text books. But trust me, no two babies are the same. Use advice, opinions and parenting books as a guideline only. Trust yourself. New parents feel under so much pressure to get things right, they feel a failure if their baby doesn’t sleep through the night within 8 weeks (it can take longer believe me! My empathy kicks in at a year, sympathy at 3, mine didn’t sleep through the night til he was 4!) You are made to feel a failure if you don’t breastfeed, if you don’t employ the ‘crying technique’, if you wean too soon, or too late, or you don’t take them to every single toddler group under the sun! Every child is different and you are the best judge of what is right for your child. Trust your instincts, they won’t fail you!

 

I lay no claim to be an expert. I am not a perfect mum. I make mistakes – I wouldn’t be human if I didn’t. But I do the best job I can. I love SC more than anything and can’t imagine life without him now.

It is a hard job, the hardest job you will ever do voluntarily! You will get stressed, anxious, cross, vexated, tired, emotionally spent, I could go one, but ultimately it is the one thing that will give you the most joy and happiness in the world!

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I’m just an old fashioned girl …

…goes the song.thatched cottage

With an old-fashioned mind. Not sophisticated, I’m the sweet and simple kind.

I don’t do sophisticated. Simple…that’s me ūüėČ

I like old-fashioned ūüėČ

I like the idea of courtship – getting to know someone, what makes them tick, all their idiosyncrasies –¬†I believe¬†if you want to build a firm basis for a relationship, you need to know, understand and accept the other person for who they are.

I like the idea of being wooed – and for me it doesn’t mean flowers and chocolates and expensive dinners and gifts. I’m not easy mind – but I like simple things. A man who can make me laugh even when he tells¬†corny jokes.¬†A man¬†who¬†can bring a smile to my face when I think of them.¬†A man who¬†is¬†content with just cuddles and kisses sometimes. A man who can hold my hand and make me feel like I mean the world to him. A man who doesn’t roll his eyes when I talk to him about problems I may be encountering … I could go on.

But relationships are not all about me, me, me. I know I’ve been in enough where it’s all been about them, them, them.

I like the idea of being part of a team and I’m a firm believer¬†that relationships are about building a solid partnership that works on communication,¬†respect and trust.

… and yes, I want an old-fashioned¬†house with an old-fashioned fence – love old properties, especially thatched with white picket fences and roses round the door ūüėČ

… but you know what – you can keep that old-fashioned millionaire –¬† I just want someone to be my best friend, who loves me for me and someone who makes me happy ūüėČ

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