Tag Archives: consequences

I Feel Powerless, What Can I Do?

… to stop SC going through the hell I endured courtesy of bullies.

Since SC started school last year there has not been a week gone by where he hasn’t been pushed, shoved, hit, bitten, kicked, called names, etc.

Now I appreciate that some of these could be down to accidents, goodness knows I’m clumsy enough and I know SC takes after me in that respect. If it is there to bump into, we basically turn into Mr Bump. And sometimes he does run around not looking where he is going.

And I’m not the kind of parent that thinks their child is a complete angel – they all have their moments, we all do – but SC is not malicious, or violent, or mean.

But it appears there are 3 children in particular for whom SC is fair game.

So far this week he has been:

  • pushed with force onto the railings and received a lovely bruise to the lower ribcage in return;
  • punched on the jaw, with such force he was knocked to the ground onto the low-rise wall and received a beautiful shiner to the thigh;
  • hit/punched/bitten on the stomach, where there is a red abrasion mark as proof;
  • called names.

No wonder he doesn’t want to go to school.

And the teachers?

Oh well, it seems they never see anything. But if the boot is on the other foot and SC, in clumsy mode, accidentally knocks someone over;

  1. he always puts his hand up and admits liability and apologises immediately, without being told to;
  2. the teachers are always to keen to haul me into class.

 

I am literally at the end of my tether.

I was bullied at secondary school – to the extent I cannot remember anything about it, literally, I have no high school memories.

SC has at least another 10 years to go and these charming, delightful offsprings of the devil will more likely than not follow him through the education system.

I want him to have a happy childhood, full of fun, warm, happy memories. Not drawing a complete blank whenever anyone asks about it, or letting it affect him so he does not fulfill his potential in life.

I could leave him where he his and hope for the best.

I could move him to another school – but chances are there will be similar kids, just with different names and faces.

I just don’t know what to do?

What would you do?

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I Learned by Octavian Paler

I stumbled across this beautiful poem by the Romanian writer Octavian Paler the other day. It’s words are so true I wanted to share them:

We have time …
We have time for everything
To sleep, or to be all over the place,
To regret mistakes and do them again,
To judge others and find excuses for ourselves,

We have time to read and write,
To correct our writings, and regret what we wrote, We have time to make plans and never complete them,
We have time to fantasize about impossible things
and later on to look into the ashes of them.

We have time for ambitions and diseases,
To blame fate and the details,
We have time to watch the clouds, TV commercials and shocking news,
We have time to not answer questions,
To postpone the answers,
We have time to kill a dream and recreate it later
We have time to make friends, and lose them
We have time to get lessons and forget them later on,
We have time to get gifts and not understand them.
We have time for everything.

But we don’t have time for a little kindness.
When one does they are dying.

I learned some important things in my life and I would like to share them with you.
I learned that you can not make somebody love you. All you can do is to be a lovely person, the rest … depends on others.
I learned that it does not matter how much I care, others don’t.
I learned that it takes years to win somebody’s trust and it takes just a few seconds to lose it.
I learned that doesn’t matter what you HAVE in life, all that matters is with WHOM you have it.
I learned that in the first 15 min you can impress somebody by using your charm after that you have to come up with something smart.
I learned that you don’t have to compare yourself with what other people are best at you have to find out what is your best.
I learned that it does not matter what happens to people, what matters is what I can do to help.

I learned that each episode has two faces.

I learned you should part lovingly from those you love, It may be the last time you have the opportunity to see that person.
I learned that you can run a long time after you said that you are exhausted.
I learned that heroes are people who do the right thing when it is needed not caring about the consequences.

I learned that there are people that love you but they do not know how to show it.
I learned that when I am upset I have the right to be upset but I do not have the right to be mean.

I learned that you can have long distance friendships, the same applies to love.
I learned that if somebody does not love you like you wish, It does not mean he or she does not love you from the bottom of their heart.
He or she will occasionally hurt you and you will forgive it.

I learned that it is not enough to forgive others sometimes you have to forgive yourself.
I learned that regardless how much you are suffering the world will not stop.
I learned that your past can have an impact on your personality but you are responsible for what you are going to become.
I learned that, if two people get into a fight it does not mean they do not love each other. And the fact that they do not fight does not mean they love each other.
I learned that sometimes you have to put the person first and not their actions.
I learned that two people can see different sides of the same incident.
I learned that indifferent of the consequences those who are honest with themselves are the winners in life.
I learned that your life can be changed by strangers in a few hours.
I learned that when you think you have nothing to give your friend can call for help, and you will find the strength to help him.

I learned that talking and writing can help to heal your pain.
I learned that you spend too little time with people you love the most…

I learned that is very hard to know when to be nice so you do not hurt people but you still sustain your opinions.

I learned to love so I can be loved in return.

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