Tag Archives: connections

Letter to Prince Charming

Dear Prince Charming

I don’t know who you are, or where you are?

I’m assuming you:

a) are riding on a tortoise as opposed to a white charger
b) missed the bus
c) are delayed slaying dragons

** Delete as appropriate (but please choose your answer wisely!)

Whoever, and wherever you are I hope you’re worth the bloody wait!

But I guess whilst I’m waiting you should know a little about me and what you need to do to win this fair lady over ….

If you’re expecting a short, blonde-haired, blue-eyed, big boobed doll you may as well just carry on riding. Sorry to disappoint, but I’m a tall, long-legged bird with brown hair and eyes that tend to change colour depending on what I wear.

Despite all the knocks that life has dealt me, I still believe in romance, I believe in happy-ever-afters, I believe in love and most of all I will believe in the man who will act like a gentleman and never stop choosing me for the rest of his life.

I’m rubbish at dating, I can’t “play the game” and don’t know the rules.

I won’t text often, only if you get in touch with me so it may appear like I’m  a bit of an ice queen as I get to know you (I’m not though)) but seeing as you’re Prince Charming, isn’t it your job to pursue me and keep me keen?

I will believe and trust in you that you will not be the kind of man to disappoint me.

I know all about “the man cave” so if you tell me you’re busy, I will respect your need for space to sort out whatever stuff it is you’re going through and won’t contact you at all, but wait until you are ready to talk. That doesn’t mean I don’t care, I would (probably too much) and will miss you.

I’m weird, kooky and quirky, so you’d best be prepared for: me to walk along the edge of the pavement, swing around lampposts, jump over puddles, steam up the stairs 2 at a time (always 2 steps, never one at a time), my shoulders to unconsciously start moving along to music, random dancing, my imagination and a million and one other types of craziness. If you can accept this, great, if you care to join me, even better 😉

I’m also a serious, smart girl. I think way too much, over-analyse everything but I know my worth.

I have standards and I don’t share men. If you knock on my door and continue weighing up various options, I will not hesitate in slamming the door and removing myself from the option list.  After all I’m not a one in a million kind of girl, I’m a once in a lifetime girl!

I believe in action over words. If you want me you need to pursue me, make me feel like I’m the only one, move mountains to be with me, make me feel loved, prove to me that you want this more than I do and most importantly be the man to prove to me that you are not the same as all the rest.

I want someone who will call or text me without reason, wants to see me, gets jealous and over-protective and loves me for me.

I don’t just want a physical connection, I crave an emotional and spiritual connection. I want to know the real you and you to know the real me.  If you can seduce my mind, my body is yours, if you can find and connect with my soul, then I’m yours forever.

When you’ve won my heart, it won’t be because I need you, it will be because I want you – pure & simple.

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The A-Z of Life – Soul Mates

Do you believe in soul mates?souls

Do you believe that we all have a perfect match somewhere in the world?

It’s like finding the ying to your yang, the salt to your pepper, etc.

I do.

I believe that we all have that perfect match.

Someone with whom, if we are lucky enough to find them amongst the however many billion people live on this planet, we instantly know it is right.

The Greek philosopher Plato famously wrote about soul mates in his Symposium:

“According to Greek Mythology, humans were originally created with four arms, four legs and a head with two faces. Fearing their power, Zeus split them into two separate beings, condemning them to spend their lives in search of their other halves.”

Sometimes we search for several lifetimes to find our other halves.

And when we meet them, I would imagine that one would be struck by a feeling, difficult to describe, but even though you hardly know each other, you feel some underlying connection, be it mental, or otherwise, and a sense of belonging and desire.

Another filling to add to the sandwich that is soul mates, is that they are, essentially, a reflection of you. Your mirror image, so to speak. Someone that reflects both good and bad of ourselves.

By reminding us that we are by no means perfect, in their opposing nature, but highlighting the differences so to speak our ‘soul mate’ gives us the opportunity to grow.

Just like ying and yang, I believe soul mates are opposites who attract, come together and complete each other by making one whole from two halves!

 

 

 

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The A-Z of Life – Respect

R.E.S.P.E.C.T. find out what it means to me – goes the song.

Well first and foremost I believe we have to respect ourselves. If we don’t no one else will.

I believe we should respect our elders, be they teachers, superiors at work, or even just the little old lady at the bus stop. That’s what I was brought up to think and I shiver at the thought that children these days are not being brought up to respect their elders.

If, as parents, we do not teach our children to automatically respect their elders (not necessarily because they are their betters, but because they happen to be older and perhaps more wise in the ways of the world) we are perhaps failing in our parental duties by sending out the signal that children demand automatic respect from adults and that adults have to earn that respect rather than the other way around.

I remember at secondary school (and this was only  in the 80s) having to stand up as soon as the teacher walked in the room. It was an automatic, no questions asked, response and certainly the thought that the teacher had to earn our respect before we would stand up for them never crossed our minds. And yet a couple of years ago I remember some hoo-ha in the paper about a boy being suspended from school because he had refused to stand up when a teacher walked in (the new head had just instilled this as a school rule) and the father (probably about my age) rather than agreeing with the head sided with his son saying teachers needed to earn respect.

And when it comes to relationships I firmly believe we need to respect our partners and would like to think that a good relationship was one that is:

Romantic

Enjoyable

Sincere

Passionate

Enchanting

Connected

Tender

 

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Mind Games

Why is it inherent in our human nature to play games?

I’m not talking about recreational sport, but games with people.

Mr Wrong No. 1 and No. 2 both were expert mind game players – whether they did it intentionally or not.

I was always made to feel wrong, stupid and generally not good enough. And because they made me feel like this, I used to go along with whatever they wanted to do, go, etc. I never had any say. They also used to pick at what I wore and how I wore my hair. Making little digs and sly comments.

Now, it could always have been that I was too subservient in that, due to previous experiences I didn’t want to do anything to rock the so-called boat, and therefore just cow-towed and agreed with them.

I have been the one, throughout my life where I have watched other women treat men like dirt and yet they themselves are still treated like princesses. Whereas if I dared to disagree or stamp my little foot I have been shown the door – no, not shown ,literally thrown out the door – before the stamping foot reached the floor!

But wherever the fault lies I, myself don’t play mind games.

I am now in a place where I know who I am and am happy and content with that.

I don’t fit moulds – I break them. I cannot change myself to someone elses ideal. If they want me, they get me – warts and all, If they want me to change me – they will be disappointed.

But what is the point of games?

I don’t get this whole “rule” thing about dating.

If you like someone, be you male or female, what is so wrong in just being open and telling them?

Why do you have to go through the pointless, and dare I say, pathetic routine game playing?

Why shouldn’t a girl text a bloke and say “fancy a drink?”

Why should a bloke string 2 girls along til he can decide which one he prefers? (I must point out that this of course applies to women stringing 2 blokes along as well)

Why should we sit around looking at our phones wishing they would call or text? Why don’t we just think “screw it” and call/text them?

Why do we hit the panic button over the “L” word? Why has society built such a small word up to such an extent that it feels like when you say it, what you are actually saying is “I’m using this as a test to see whether you will say it back!” When in reality that little word actually just means you have touched another person’s heart and soul? Does it really matter a fig who says it first? Does it matter really if the other person doesn’t say it back? We all know our own hearts, we cannot dictate another’s, so maybe the other person doesn’t say it back, it doesn’t mean they don’t, though of course it might!

Dating should be fun – not akin to playing a tactical game of chess or Strategy.

I mean clearly, that’s why I’m a disaster zone.

Surely, it should just be a case of I like you, you like me. Let’s go out and have some fun.

Starting out as friends and if you feel “chemistry” (and I use the word very loosely) – surely that’s an even better place to start.

Getting to know someone surely should be a time of excitement and joy, not feeling stressed because you feel you must play the game and follow the ‘dating rules’?

Isn’t it time society ripped up the so-called rules and made a new set?

Of course, it’s all very well for me to talk, but if truth be told I would be the last person to do that.

I would love to be able to just say “hey, no pressure, let’s go out for a drink?”

But I fear my heart has been broken too many times.

 

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Do you believe in angels?

I do.

I believe in fairies, magic, angels and guardian angels.

Whether this be a guardian angel or a spirit guide, or indeed whether these are one and the same, I believe we all have someone watching our backs, looking over us, and somehow guiding us along the path to our rightful destiny.

I like to think that when we shuffle off this mortal coil we do go to a better place, I just don’t get that at the end that’s it! I know our physical self will be worn out, but our souls are not a physical matter, what happens to them?

I believe in reincarnation, I believe our souls are reborn and continue their journey. And with every life we learn from mistakes made in past lives.

I also believe in soul-mates. And maybe we go searching through several lifetimes before we meet them. But I believe when 2 souls meet and its meant to be, you feel a deep connection without really knowing why and it’s like … magic!

I believe in magic! Not pulling rabbits out of hats type magic, but natural magic. Wonders of the earth and environment that you can’t explain. Magic in a good way 😉

I believe in fairies and fairy lore. I believe that like angels, fairies help guide us along the right path.

But most of all I believe in life 😉

I saw this quote the other day on a frame in a shop and thought it most beautiful:

stars

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What does it mean to be spiritual?

Does it mean the same as having faith? Or can you be one without the other?

I would say that faith and spirituality are two separate and distinct features about a person. I firmly believe that you don’t have to have one to have the other.

I have faith. I believe there is an ultimate being somewhere out there – obviously, being Christian, for me that is God, but I also respect that other religions have their own ultimate being. I try to lead a good life and go to church pretty much every Sunday, listening to the sermon and trying to make sense of it through my own experiences in life. This is, after all the done thing if you have faith, isn’t it?

But.

To be honest, I find more peace, serenity and faith sitting alone in a church than I do when there is an entire congregation there. I also find this same feeling when I’m alone with my own thoughts on the top of a hill, in the middle of the countryside, or in the middle of the night. When I’m thinking and trying to make sense of my life.

And that, I believe, is why I also have spirituality. I believe in God, but I also believe we are more than just flesh and bones. We have a spirit, a soul, a thinking being, something that ultimately makes us what we are. To me the flesh and bones is just the canvas, our soul is the artwork and ultimately the beauty.

The one question that keeps popping into my head, and has done since I was a teenager, is what happens when we die? Sure I get the body wears out. But what about our souls?

If there is no higher plane, then surely our thoughts, feelings and emotions are nothing more than a chain reaction of several nerve signals sent from the brain, therefore (logical side kicking in), we should be able to switch off our feelings like we can switch off a tap?

But we can’t, can we? If we didn’t have souls, we wouldn’t be able to love another being, it would just be a simple case of procreation, no feelings, no emotion, no nothing. But we don’t, we search our entire lives to find that one true love, the one person who holds not only the key to our heart, but a ‘soul-mate’!

I firmly believe in souls, or spirits, for want of a better word.

So what is spirituality?

According to Wikipedia: Spirituality is belief in an ultimate, or alleged immaterial reality, an inner path enabling a person to discover the essence of his/her beinghttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spirituality

Doesn’t really explain much, does it?

But how do you find that inner path, the way to enlightenment?

Enlightenment comes from within.

It is ultimately about finding yourself, but I don’t believe you can find yourself on a distance learning course, a 2 week retreat, or even a 6 month jaunt to India.

You can only find yourself by making mistakes and learning from them.

Some people take a lifetime, some of us take several lifetimes 😉

Yes, I believe in reincarnation and that we have been on this earth many times in different guises. Why do you think we get that feeling of de ja vu?

For me, being spiritual is about being at one with myself. Yes, I’ve made mistakes, and no doubt I’ll make many more before this journey is over, but I don’t regret anything. I am happy within myself, I have found peace with my life. I can’t change what is ultimately my pre-destined path. I can alter directions, veer around rocks, try to fool myself, but at the end of the day I’ll still end up where I was meant to be.

I believe that sharing a spiritual experience with someone is a magical thing indeed. It can be anything from music and literature to religious rituals. It’s not just the meeting of two human beings, or even two minds, it is the meeting of two souls who make a deep connection.

And that connection can be stronger than anything you have ever experienced before. Whether that connection is destined to last for a few short minutes or a lifetime, who knows? But isn’t that ultimately what we are all searching for a connection with another soul?

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