Tag Archives: colposcopy

Bloody Hormones (Part 5)

…or the one where Colposcopy Central leads to Biopsy Boulevard!!!

The good news is the bleeding is definitely uterine and not cervical – hoorah!

The nurses were totally lovely this morning, but bloody hell! What a ride – I have now got a serious headache!!!

[Note – if you’re squeamish I suggest you switch pages now!]

After my legs were comfortably (?) positioned in stirrups a speculum was inserted so everyone could get a good look (on the TV monitor) of my cervix.

After having a good look, the informed me that the bleeding was definitely not coming from the cervix.

Then she put some liquid into the area and then swabbed with iodine – so then she informed me she needed to do a biopsy.

My head at this stage was swimming – information overload, my brain simply could not cope. I was having an internal stress meltdown.

BUT

OH MY F****** GOD!

Painful and hurt are not two words I would use to describe it.

I was clenching the chair so hard my knuckled went white, I physically stopped breathing that another nurse had to tell me to breath, the sound was awful and the pain was excruciating.

The sound was literally the sound that nail clippers make – and then couple that with effectively nail clippers cutting chunks of your skin – you can maybe understand why I screamed – rather loudly, and let’s just say I turned the air a lovely shade of blue.

I swear to God, that the 2nd time she did it I felt blood splatter onto my legs.

I do remember at one point simply saying, “please can I just have a hysterectomy now!”

And the scream that came out on the 3rd go made another nurse say “what are you doing?” and I dread to think what the patients sitting outside felt!

Let’s just say it took an awful lot of swabbing to stem the blood flow.

My mum (who thankfully came with me) couldn’t understand why the area wasn’t numbed first.

Anyway, apparently the biopsy was done to determine whether any cells were in the pre-formation of cancerous cells stage – that freaked me out even more since I’d had a smear less than 3 months previously which had shown up completely clear!

So, I now have to go back to the doctors to make an appointment for a scan to see what is causing the bleeding (4 weeks now and counting).

I think I’ll just book a ticket to Hysterectomy Harbour and get it over with!

My stress levels are at critical – no wonder I have a headache and feel sick!

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Bloody Hormones (Part 4)

Well, they’re at it again.mr spain

The monthly cycle is all over the place. A couple of months normal, then miss, then floodgates, then normal, etc., etc., etc.

And it is most definitely not [whispers] “The Change” – too young, and no other symptoms.

It’s all due to stress!!!!

That was until this month. And when I say this month, I literally mean ALL this month!!!!

I missed one, and then for the last 4 weeks, yes 4, I have been bleeding. Joyous! Rapturous! … NOT! To be fair, it’s not been heavy, and I’ve had no pain, cramps, etc. It’s just extremely annoying.

I eventually managed to see my doctor – after trying unsuccessfully to get an appointment for a fortnight, and then by the miracle of telephone triage an appointment became available that day – hoo-flippin-ray!

Now, I explained to the doctor the history, and I have regulars [whispers again] smears, all clear, and I’ve had no spotting in-between cycles whatsoever – which are obviously things we women have to look out for.

After an exam, she referred me for a colposcopy – which apparently is just a big magnifying glass to look inside to see what is going on. It was then she totally freaked me out when she said “don’t worry, 99% of the time everything is normal”

So now to say that I’m not internally freaking out would be an understatement, and if it is all down to stress – which I suspect it is – then this is doing nothing to help my stress levels.

And what better day to go and have your undercarriage examined than Valentine’s Day!!!

(I’m guessing the consultant is not going to be as hot as the new gynaecologist in Spain that all the ladies are queueing up to see – (see photo) he’s an ex-Mr Spain, sends my temperature rising 😉 )

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