Tag Archives: choices

A-Z of Life – Honesty

self-honesty-freedomLet’s be honest – it’s always easier to blame other people/other circumstances for our misfortunes in life, isn’t it?

But where does that get us?

Nowhere, that’s where.

Or continually walking down a path always looking for something or someone to blame and never once looking closer to home.

But maybe we should.

Every day we always have a choice.

And those choices determine what happens in our lives. Some of it will be good and some of it will be not so good.

But, and here’s the crux of the matter, if the choice you made turns out to be not so good, then instead of looking for someone or something to blame we need to look at our actions. After all, weren’t we the one who made that particular choice?

We’ve all done it. It’s human nature. If something goes wrong it’s easier to blame circumstances or fate or luck, isn’t it?

I’ve spent a good part of my life blaming others for my ‘lot in life’ – unlucky, ugly, useless, worthless, etc. You name it, the list is pretty long.

But, over the last couple years, having been on this voyage of self-discovery I realised the ‘others’ involved may have caused an initial blip in my life (for want of a better expression), but I was then ultimately responsible for how I felt. After all, I was the one that chose to let their actions affect my life, I chose to believe I was worthless, I chose to believe that I deserved everything that was thrown at me, I chose to believe that I should be treated without respect.

“Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it!”

I looked closely at my own actions and worked hard to improve and better myself in all areas of life and these days I wake up and choose to be positive.

Because I believe in myself now.

For sure, I may still get a few wobbles and panics occasionally but I stop, tell myself to stop being so silly and as a certain song goes, always look on the bright side.

I am alive.

I am allowed to have dreams.

I deserve to be here.

I deserve to have a life.

I am worthy of life.

I am worthy of respect.

I value and know my worth.

I choose life.

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Love is … like an exam!

examExcept there’s no revision needed for the first sitting, thankfully, however, it’s one of the those where you can re-sit and hopefully get better until you get the grade you want 😉

Sometimes the problems are easy – in which case you answer and move on swiftly to the next one.

Sometimes the problem is a multiple choice – always tricky, and it’s not for nothing it’s called multiple guess!!!

If you seriously have no clue from the options, just take your pick.  Word of warning though, you can’t go back and change your mind after!

If you know the answer, then go for it and delete all the other options from the list.

Sometimes the problem is a little bit more tricky and requires a lot more thought.

My headmaster always said if you’re faced with a tricky problem  in an exam move on to the next and go back when you’ve finished the paper – unfortunately though life is not quite that simple.

So with a tricky problem you have 2 choices.

You can either move on to the next problem, but there is no going back – you have to keep moving forward – and if you find yourself wishing you could, sorry, no can do. You made your choice.

Or you can work on the problem until it is solved and feel satisfied that you tried.

As for me, I think this is one exam I will never, ever pass.

Far too tricky for me, so I’ll just sit quietly at the top of my tree admiring the view 😉

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School PE – Is anyone else scarred for life?

Urgh! The mere thought of PE lessons at school is enough to fill me with dread.

Primary school wasn’t too bad.

But secondary school – OMG! Scar central.

I don’t know what was worse – the obligatory uniform PE knickers (they had nothing on Bridget Jones’s big pants) or freezing in mid-winter trying to avoid playing sport I absolutely detested, namely hockey.

I get the whole “children need exercise” that is rammed down our throats, to make us feel better that we are being forced to play something we:

a) clearly have no interest in

b) are absolutely no good at whatsoever

c) would prefer to be doing pretty much anything else but

BUT surely over the years the educated bods in education might have actually cottoned on to the fact that not all children like all sports.

So why are thousands of school-kids still being put through the torture of having to endure sports lessons in sports they have absolutely no desire to play?

Most secondary schools these days (or maybe it’s just the ones where I live) have had shed loads of money thrown at them to build state-of-the art Gym blocks – complete with fitness gyms, dance studios, etc. But yet, they still insist on making the students do the bog standard crappy sports subjects of old.

I applied for a job in Australia a while back (wishful thinking, one day I’ll make it down under … do you think I could claim asylum? Nah, didn’t think so.)  Anyway, I thought I’d better check out schools for SC, just on the off-chance Lady Luck was smiling down on me.

And frankly, they seem to have nailed the sports thing.  One school I checked out offered the children a variety of sports from which they could choose what they wanted to play during the winter and summer seasons.  So boys weren’t forced to play football or rugby – they had a choice from football, rugby, basketball and hockey (I think) – and similarly in the summer they weren’t forced to run around a track or play cricket but again had a choice from cricket, tennis and swimming.

Surely, this might be a more sensible option for secondary schools in this country to adopt.  After all, they have a huge number of PE staff and not all teachers are teaching every lesson.

And if the students were given a choice as to what to play, maybe they might actually begin to enjoy PE instead of having this looming sense of dread every time a PE lessons sails into view on the timetable.

So were you left scarred by your PE experience at school or did you enjoy it?

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Do You Believe in Destiny?

Do you believe that somewhere, out there, in the grand scheme of things your destiny is all mapped out for you?

Do we arrive at points in our life through our own choices, or because it is our destiny?

I believe in destiny.

I believe that whatever choices we make in life, ultimately we will end up where we were meant to – sometimes it just takes a little longer, if we take a detour!

I don’t know who decides our destiny, but I do believe that whatever our journey through life, be it fraught with difficulties or a walk in the park, it is a journey we are given because we can handle it.

I was told once that we are given the life we can handle.

I like to think of that when I am feeling low and feel that the world is against me, it gives me hope and courage to continue and the belief that I am strong enough to handle anything.

 

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I Feel Powerless, What Can I Do?

… to stop SC going through the hell I endured courtesy of bullies.

Since SC started school last year there has not been a week gone by where he hasn’t been pushed, shoved, hit, bitten, kicked, called names, etc.

Now I appreciate that some of these could be down to accidents, goodness knows I’m clumsy enough and I know SC takes after me in that respect. If it is there to bump into, we basically turn into Mr Bump. And sometimes he does run around not looking where he is going.

And I’m not the kind of parent that thinks their child is a complete angel – they all have their moments, we all do – but SC is not malicious, or violent, or mean.

But it appears there are 3 children in particular for whom SC is fair game.

So far this week he has been:

  • pushed with force onto the railings and received a lovely bruise to the lower ribcage in return;
  • punched on the jaw, with such force he was knocked to the ground onto the low-rise wall and received a beautiful shiner to the thigh;
  • hit/punched/bitten on the stomach, where there is a red abrasion mark as proof;
  • called names.

No wonder he doesn’t want to go to school.

And the teachers?

Oh well, it seems they never see anything. But if the boot is on the other foot and SC, in clumsy mode, accidentally knocks someone over;

  1. he always puts his hand up and admits liability and apologises immediately, without being told to;
  2. the teachers are always to keen to haul me into class.

 

I am literally at the end of my tether.

I was bullied at secondary school – to the extent I cannot remember anything about it, literally, I have no high school memories.

SC has at least another 10 years to go and these charming, delightful offsprings of the devil will more likely than not follow him through the education system.

I want him to have a happy childhood, full of fun, warm, happy memories. Not drawing a complete blank whenever anyone asks about it, or letting it affect him so he does not fulfill his potential in life.

I could leave him where he his and hope for the best.

I could move him to another school – but chances are there will be similar kids, just with different names and faces.

I just don’t know what to do?

What would you do?

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How far would you go to make a point?

Would you tell someone and hope they take notice?

Would you just leave it at debating – where both parties end up agreeing to disagree and walk away even more convinced of their own argument?

Would you get annoyed, start shouting the odds and then walk away – with still no agreement reached?

Would you act out a scenario – to put your point across visually?

Would you chain yourself to fencing in order to bring attention to your cause?

Would you deliberately set up a situation to ruin a business and leave many people out of work?

Just to prove a point!

What would you do?

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Choices

Everything we do in life is a choice.

But, there are 3 things I believe we cannot choose:

  1. our family
  2. when we die
  3. who we fall in love with

Everything else is always a choice.

The choices you make will all be part of destiny’s plan for you. Sometimes though we have to make more choices in order to get to the places we are meant to be at, and so the journey seems, at times, harder and sometimes it feels as if you’ll never reach your destination.

I’m a firm believer in following your heart. You can follow your head, but ultimately you’ll always be happier following your heart 😉

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