Tag Archives: anger

Friday Poem – A Poison Tree

poison treeThis is quite a poignant poem by the English poet William Blake (1757-1827), and to me seems to reflect the world we live in today.

The poem is like football, a poem of two halves – albeit the first half is only the first 2 lines.

In the first half the writer says that when he is angry with his friend he tells him and the anger is forgotten –  oh, how the power of communication works so well!!!

The rest of the poem deals with what happens when we are angry with someone we actually don’t like so well. We don’t say anything, we suppress the feeling and what happens? The feeling doesn’t go away, instead it grows and grows inside of us, fed by all that negative energy and hatred until it explodes as a mighty and destructive force.

I think the underlying theme behind the poem is that communication is always a good thing. Always keep the lines open!

A Poison Tree

I was angry with my friend:
I told my wrath, my wrath did end.
I was angry with my foe:
I told it not, my wrath did grow.

And I watered it in fears,
Night and morning with my tears;
And I sunned it with smiles,
And with soft deceitful wiles.

And it grew both day and night,
Till it bore an apple bright.
And my foe beheld it shine.
And he knew that it was mine,

And into my garden stole
When the night had veiled the pole;
In the morning glad I see
My foe outstretched beneath the tree.

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Aiming for Perfection…

…it appears I’ve been doing this all my life.

I’ve always been competitive, ever since I was little, I was not going to let anyone beat me.

But the only thing I was fighting, in the end, was myself and my ideals of how things should turn out.

I didn’t fight the bullies. I fought myself. I beat myself up as to why I was targeted.

And fighting against this invisible force, striving for a seemingly ‘perfect life like everyone else’ was the goal.

Yet at the end of the day I didn’t fight, it was just my survival tactic kicking in. By suppressing all the anger I felt and all the fear of losing control if I did get mad, fighting myself and striving for perfection was just me taking back control.

And yet by trying to control my life this way I’ve just been going round and round in those ever decreasing circles, not going anywhere, not succeeding at anything, all the time blaming myself.

Why was I angry?

Because when I was bullied, that was the first time I let anyone beat me!

Without putting up a fight, I just let them win. Overnight I was transformed into a shy, timid little girl, hiding any spark of talent under the nearest and most dense bush!

And whenever something happens in my life that I can’t control, I end up being that little girl again – afraid of her own shadow, afraid of letting others see how I really feel, frightened and lonely.

Oh, I’m very good at putting on a brave face and faking it! I may fool the world into thinking that I have no feelings and I don’t hurt, but behind the sunny smile there is just a lost, frightened little girl.

But, I’ve come to realise that I can’t control everything.

If I do something I can give it my best shot and control my input, but I cannot control the result.

I am going to feel frightened, lost, confused, angry and a whole gamut of emotions, but I just need to ride the emotional tide and not suppress my feelings any more.

And I just need to give myself a break from rowing!

Sit on the boat in the middle of the river and let the current carry me to wherever my destiny lies.

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The A-Z of Life – Temper

Temper, temper!!!

Oh, let’s face it. We’ve all got one. We wouldn’t be human if we didn’t lose our rag every now and again. Anyone who says they never do, thou liest methinks!

We all have varying degrees of temper, that’s true. But we’re individuals, we are unique, even our tempers.

I have a temper.

Mine’s a bit like a firework.

Long fuse, big explosion, then it’s all over.

I have lost my rag and done some things I am not proud of, when I was younger – pouring a pint over a boy who was taunting me, slapping several girls who were physically assaulting me, and accusing me of things I had not done.

Now, it could just have been my youthful age and inexperience in life. But it had got to the stage where I just snapped. I should not have risen to the bait, because that made me every bit as bad as them.

I have, over the years, learned to tame the temper. That could just be something to do with age as well.

It takes a lot to make me explode now. But I just shout a lot now, say my piece, walk out the door (OK I might slam it 😉 ) and then I’m fine. Over and done with. Let’s move on!

No mulling over things, no bringing up the same subject again, and again, every time I have an argument. That’s a waste of time.

If you say your piece, you’ve said it. You’ve got it off your chest. No sense using stuff as weapons in the future, is there?

 

 

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Christmas Hell

Going to have a wee bit of a moan, about the not-so-sunny side to Christmas.Nativity-Scene

Christmas is supposed to be a time for celebration.

But what of?

It surely isn’t celebrating the endless queues, pushing and shoving or the last-minute panic buying on what the media inform us is the retailer’s annual busiest day of the year!

Why is it that year in, year out Christmas becomes less of a celebration of peace, love and hope, and more a blind alleyway leading to stress, anger and bankruptcy?

We get stressed out worrying that we haven’t bought enough food, or presents, or the right presents for the kids so they can keep up with their friends. All that pent-up stress gets released during the annual Christmas row about 11 o’clock as you have realised you didn’t put the sprouts on in April and therefore they won’t be done in time! And we spend so much on food and presents that we end up paying for this 1 day for the next 12 months!

Is the UK the only country in the world (clearly of those that celebrate Christmas) that has scenes of pandemonium and people queueing at 6 o’clock on Christmas Eve morning (or even last thing before they close) to get into the supermarket or the shopping mall for those ‘last minute essentials’?

IT IS ONE DAY IN THE YEAR – the shops are closed for at least 1 day, at most 2!

Why the sudden onrush to buy things like they are going out of fashion, or you are stocking for a  2 month siege?

In December, for the media at least, it seems that the run up to Christmas is all that happens in the world. As every day is this years busiest online shopping day, or busiest retailers shopping day, or busiest weekend buying day, or busiest day when men go shopping, or I could go on.

But is it only in the UK? Is it like this in other countries, say France, or Canada?

Or is it because, like most things, we, in the UK, do it to excess?

We over-eat, over-drink and over-buy (just in case some long-lost relative you haven’t seen or spoken to for the last 12 months suddenly turns up, uninvited on your door-step)

Talking of over-buying, why do we write Christmas cards to people who we haven’t seen or spoken to in the last year. If we haven’t bothered to keep in contact – it’s not difficult these days, with email and Facebook, and yes, I know it takes two – why bother writing a card, promising to keep in touch or meet up, when the next thing you will do is remember to write another card to them 12 months hence? It’s just an observation.

And Secret Santa – not even going there!

Also, why is it that in Soapland you can never have a happy Christmas? It’s always doom and gloom, someone dies, someone breaks up, another gangster fight breaks out!

I know things like this happen in reality, and at Christmas, but we don’t really want to be reminded whilst we’re having a ‘wafer thin mint’ after saying that we couldn’t eat another thing and lounging on the sofa, exhausted from eating too much!

And yes, I know soaps are supposed to be real-life based , but I think that idea went out the window a long time ago, so therefore why can’t everyone for once have a happy Christmas!

Another mince pie, anyone?

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Wrath

Wrath in its purest form (according to Wikipedia) “presents with self-destructiveness, violence and hate that may provoke feuds that can go on for centuries. Wrath may exist long after the person who did another a grievous wrong is dead.”

Reading that description from Wikipedia made me think of two things in particular.

One “Romeo and Juliet”. We know that the Montagues and Capulets were sworn enemies, but we don’t know (unless my memory is playing tricks, it’s a fair few years since I read Romeo & Juliet) how long they were enemies. So it could have been a family feud that had been going on for centuries – what we do know however, that the outcome of this feuding was the deaths of 2 young people, who did nothing more than fall in love.

The second was the world. Just the three feelings – self-destructiveness, violence and hate. To me the world we are living in right now is angry.

Man is self-destructing.

And how?

We are destroying the very planet we live on by ravaging it – you only have to look at the destruction oil-drilling in the Arctic region has done. Tearing down trees and ripping up countryside to build tower blocks. Pouring waste into the oceans. I could go on.

It’s not global warming that will kill the planet but man’s greed.

Nowhere is safe anymore. Violence seems to be a by-word for life these days. Not a day goes by when there is some horror story emerging about the violence done to one human being by another. What is everyone so angry about? Why can’t we live peacefully and not be afraid that if we go out we might be subjected to a violent assault on our person which would lead to injury and/or death. This is not the way to treat each other.

Violence doesn’t solve anything. It escalates out of control. For example, you hit me, I hit you, you retaliate and hit me with a stick, I find a bigger stick, you get something worse, I get something worse, etc, etc, etc, until someone gets killed!

Violence breeds hate. Or is it hate breeds violence?

What do we hate?

Do we hate each other? Why? Why hate someone you don’t know? How do we learn to hate? Why can’t we learn to love and get along rather than hate? Surely that would make the world a nicer place to live in.

You can’t hate someone just because they have a better job than you, or they support a different football team, or they pray to a different God, or even because they are a different colour. That is wrong in so many ways I can’t begin to express it.

If someone has a better job than you, don’t hate them, aim to get a better job yourself!

If someone supports a different football team, don’t hate them, feel sorry for them by all means, but seriously everyone’s entitled to their own opinions!

If they pray to a different God, don’t hate them, after all, all religion is about love and understanding and above all peace on earth.

At the end of the day though, can we save the world from ourselves and our wrath?

I believe we can, if we take it one step at a time.

If we can maybe, just maybe we can make the world a better place for our children and our children’s children!

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