Category Archives: Out of the Mouthes of Babes

Out of the Mouths of Babes – Hairy Legs

“Mummy,” says SC at dinner today, “hairy legs are a good thing!”

“Oh, yes?”

“Yes, because they stop you getting bruises!” (Mummy raises her eyebrows) “Well, you see, if you bump your leg, the hairs fold down and act like a sort of cushion, so you don’t get any bruises.”

Think I’ll stick to waxing my legs and risk the bruises. (the latest set of which seem to be disappearing nicely)

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Out of the Mouths of Babes – Pride & Prejudice

I love this Jane Austen book – it was the first I read and well it does the soul good to sit through 6 hours of the BBC’s adaptation of Pride & Prejudice – cue an excuse for a picture of Colin Firth as Mr Darcy 😉"and your parents? are they in good health?"

SC first saw chunks of this about 2 years ago and now, every time it’s on (fairly regularly it would appear on the Drama Channel) he loves sitting and watching it with me. He does a very good impression of Lizzie saying “Mr Darcy!” – which cracks me up no end 😉

Anyway I thought you might like SC’s take on the cast list:

Mr Wickham – Boo! Hiss! Pantomime villain.

Lady Catherine de Bourgh – “she’s a mean old lady mummy!”

Mr Collins – “he’s quite nice, but a bit annoying.”

Mrs Bennett – “mmm, she’s OK, but I wouldn’t want her as a mummy.”

Lizzie Bennett – “she’s lovely. Just like you mummy.”

Mr Darcy -“oh, he’s very nice. I wish he was real mummy, so that you could have a happy ending, just like Lizzie.” (Lord, love him 😉 )

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Out of the Mouthes of Babes – Time Travel

“Mummy, do you know time travel forwards is possible!” pipes up SC on the way home from school last night.DeLorean

“Ummm, no?”

“Well, what you need to do is go up into space at 99.9% of the speed of light and spend 4 months hanging around a black hole, and then when you come back to earth all your friends will be 24 years older!”

And there was me thinking all you needed was a mad scientist, a flux capacitor and a DeLorean 😉

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Out of the Mouthes of Babes – Aerodynamics!

Well, we were driving along the motorway today and SC pipes up, “Mummy, do you know why our car is faster than lorries and vans?”aerodynamics

“No…” (obviously thinking that the reason is probably because my car is a lot smaller and not quite as heavy!)

“It’s because we’re streamlined!”


“Yes, our car is lower to the ground and smoother, not like that van over there with its big windscreen going up”

(Am I hearing correctly???)

“See that car is not as streamlined as ours as it isn’t going as fast as us.”

(Mmmm, hold on, maybe that car is just going slower to conserve more fuel, after all I am in the outside lane doing no more than 70mph 😉 )

“But that lorry is really tall, and going really slowly, that’s why we’re streamlined!”

(Move over Adrian Newey!)

“Isn’t that right mummy?”

“Yes darling, in a roundabout way, of course it is!”

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Out of the Mouthes of Babes – Robbers

I casually mentioned to SC earlier in the week that I had to go and sit in church for an hour.Thief

He asked why?

And I said that it was just in case anyone came in to the church and wanted information.

He then said, “You must take your mobile mummy, just in case robbers come in, and then you can phone the police. You know what robbers look like, don’t you?”

Quizzical look from yours truly…

“Well,” he continued, “they wear jumpers – ”

“- with stripes?” I interjected.

“Yes, and they wear black t-shirts with very long sleeves. So just remember if anyone comes into church like that, then they are a robber!”

How very stereotypical 😉

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Out of the Mouthes of Babes – The Tooth Fairy

SC lost his first tooth yesterday!tooth-fairy

A milestone in the journey of life.

His tooth has been getting wobblier for a while, but he has been very good and not given it any extra manual wobbles.

He went into school yesterday and then 10 seconds later came back to the door, holding his hand out and looking a tad shocked said “Mummy! My tooth came out!”

Apparently, he had walked into something on the wall (he is totally clumsy, just like his mummy 😉 ). Then “I heard a clanking sound mummy.” (I did not know teeth falling out made a clanking noise! “And then I felt something swooshing around my mouth.”

He deposited the tooth in my hand and left me standing there with his first baby tooth. It was so small and white, like a little pearl. His teacher kindly gave me a tissue to carefully wrap the precious tooth in, and then it hit me.

“Oh no! This means the Tooth Fairy has got to visit.” I had to ask several mums what the going rate was these days – absolutely no idea.

Now, I used to sell the most gorgeous Tooth Fairy kits, which came with a little sparkly box, a story, a pouch and of course some fairy dust. I thought I had a couple left in the depths of the garage, but despite searching high and low, I could not find them. I really must have chucked everything last time I had a clear out of old stock!

So when he went to bed last night, he carefully put the tooth (in a small organza bag) under his pillow.

The just before I went to bed, I replaced the tooth with a £2, and sprinkled some fairy dust in a trail over the floor.

Now the problem was, was that SC was rather excited at the thought of a visit from the Tooth Fairy, which meant that rather like Christmas he was extremely restless and awake pretty much every hour asking what the time was. I turned the light on at 4:30, he looked under the pillow, clocked the trail of sparkle and was very excited. I did tell him the Tooth Fairy gave him double because it was his first tooth. Then, thankfully, he turned over and slept soundly…well for another hour at least 😉

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Out of the Mouthes of Babes – Religion

When picking SC up from school the other day, his teacher beckoned me over.


The she proceeded to tell me what had happened in RE that day.

Apparently, the class were discussing what it meant to be Catholic.

Cue, SC putting his hand in the air.

“I’m not Catholic. I’m a Christian!” he pipes up.

His teacher thought it was hilarious, especially, as she added “I’m not either!”

Then, the other day when we were walking out of school with some friends he suddenly turned to his friend and asked “Are you Catholic or Christian?”, to which his friend (being a year or so older) replied “both!”

SC was a little puzzled to say the least. It would appear that in his world you can either be Catholic or Christian, you cannot be both!

Maybe we should have a little chat…

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Out of the Mouthes of Babes – Stars

…the twinkly variety!stars1

This morning when we went down for breakfast there was a lovely full moon lighting up the kitchen and in the moonlight we could also see a few stars.

“Mummy,” said SC, “all the stars are planets.”

“That’s right,” I said. OK, so astronomy is not my best subject, and I know that there are different grades of planets, etc, but I didn’t want to confuse him!

Anyway, he continued, “Even though stars are planets they aren’t round like the moon is.”

“Oh, what shape are they then?” I asked.

He didn’t answer, but merely draw a star using crosses on the window, followed by a 5-pointed star.

Why didn’t I know that stars were that shape in reality?


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Out of the Mouthes of Babes – Fame

“Mummy,” said SC this morning over breakfast, “B in my class is quite famous, because she stroked a polar bear!”

OK, so it was quite early this morning, so it didn’t really register what he had actually said she had done!

Anyway, he carried on, “that’s a silly thing to be sort-of famous for isn’t it?”

“Mmmm,” said I, “so what do you think would be a good thing to be famous for?”

And do you know what, I was amazed at his reply.

“Well, designing a time machine is a good one, then you could go back and forward in time like Doctor Who [note. he has never watched Doctor Who, but obviously knows about it from the playground]


“Going into space and walking on the moon, would be good. Being an artist, a perfect one and creating lovely things. Nelson Mandela he brought peace to the world.”




“Was anyone in our family alive when Nelson Mandela was born, he was 95.”

“No darling, there wasn’t and although mummy’s back sometimes feels like it is 95 years old, she most definitely isn’t!”

“Silly mummy, I know that!”

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Out of the Mouthes of Babes – Rewards

I got asked to see SC’s teacher after school the other day.


“Oh, what’s happened now?” thought I.

His teacher explained that SC had done something he (the teacher) never thought he would.

Cue for more internal screams and panic about what he had done…

Apparently SC took it upon himself to add a few extra house-points to his name, as he thought he deserved more than he had 😉

When I was told, I must confess, I laughed! To be fair, the teacher wasn’t cross either and saw the funny side (thank God he has a teacher with a sense of humour!).

On this little venture I believe SC has a great future as a creative accountant!

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