The A-Z of Life – Quitting


quittingIs “quitting” a dirty word?

Should we be ashamed if we quit?

If you ask a sportsman the answer is probably “yes” – after all quitters never win!

That indeed is true in one sense, but what, if you have tried all avenues and you still end up facing the wall in front of you, no higher up it, or further along to the end than when you started?

Should you still try to overcome the obstacle?

Should you strategically think about the obstacle?

Why is it so difficult to overcome?

Is it the obstacle that is the problem, or you?

If, indeed, it is the obstacle that is the problem, then surely “quitting” is not a bad thing?

Doesn’t it just means you get to shift your focus onto something more important, or maybe something less difficult to overcome? After all you can’t climb a mountain in one leap, you need to take little steps and often traverse the mountain sideways before moving further up towards the summit and the goal!

If it is you that is the problem though, what then?

Surely in this case quitting is a bad thing, because if you don’t even try, for whatever reason, doesn’t that make for a life filled with regrets and what ifs?

What is holding you back?

What deep-rooted “problem” (for want of a better word) is preventing you from, sometimes even just trying to get somewhere?

In my case, the answer is that I never truly believe in me.

I put obstacles in my way. Extra obstacles that I have to overcome as well as the original task at hand. It’s always a case of I can’t do this, I’m not very good at that, I’m not pretty, I’m not clever enough, I’ll never be the type of girl that someone will adore, etc.

So when I try to overcome these extra obstacles I still have the original obstacle in my way, still as big and ominous.

That is not to say I never try anything, but I have to be passionate about and truly believe in whatever it is I am trying to achieve and then I will throw my heart and soul into trying to make it work.

Most of the time though, I do end up with egg on my face, looking like a complete idiot and feeling like a complete failure.

So, I end up still not believing in me.

And if I don’t believe in me, who else will, right?

It is a vicious circle.

Sometimes, I feel like I’ve just about had enough of everything that’s been thrown at me, and yes, I feel like quitting!

Quitting life, quitting people, quitting everything.

But if truth be told, I am not a quitter!

I may not believe in myself, but I try to not give up unless I have given it every last ounce of my fighting spirit.

There are, of course exceptions and some things that are not worth fighting for, generally things that I never really wanted in the first place – like the job or the part in the play – just because my heart wasn’t and wouldn’t be in it, and I don’t tend to feel too bad about them, because deep down I never really wanted it.

I am about the see the light and get rid of the contract that has been weighing me down for the last 3 years. I have thrown every artillery shell and bit of arsenal I have at my disposal at it, and yet the damn thing is still unmovable. So, I have decided enough is enough – it was becoming bad for my stress levels and general health and well-being.

I may have been defeated but I have not failed. I think of it as having lost a particular battle, but that doesn’t mean I will not go on fighting. I still have faith and dreams 😉

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