You Know When You’ve …


… been tangoed! tango

You know the advert, when a rotund male dressed in a Sumo nappy and painted orange goes up to someone and slaps him round the face after he takes a taste of the orange Tango drink? Yes, that one!

Well, goodness gracious me, a strange affliction seems to have come over the female population. They’ve either been drinking far too much orange Tango, or they’ve been watching too much TOWIE and admiring WAGS?

I went out with some friends on Friday night and I seriously could not believe my eyes.

Everywhere we went, every single woman seemed to be a shade of orange from tangerine to a bright Seville!

From girls in their early twenties to women, who should have known better and were trying to dress to age down, but really they shouldn’t have bothered, talk about mutton dressed as lamb.

It was not a pretty sight … AT ALL! ANY OF IT!

What is with the overdose of fake tan? and hardly any clothes on?

Now, I’m a bona fide Essex girl, but I wouldn’t be seen dead going out looking like that.

Not even when I was 20!

Joan Collins says English women have no class and don’t know how to dress. And I know she didn’t mean all, it was one of those sweeping generalisations, but thanks to the minority, we all get tarred with the same brush! And to be honest, from what I saw on Friday evening, she seemed to be spot on!

Having class, doesn’t mean being born with a silver spoon in your mouth, but simply knowing when to stop so you don’t end up face down in a gutter.

And knowing how to dress to make the most of your attributes, but that does not mean having your melons and lady garden out on display for all and sundry to see, leaving little to the imagination.

Surely a man wants a mere hint of what’s on offer, so he’s interested enough to find out what underneath the wrapper? There is no sense whatsoever, in my opinion in letting him view the whole candy cane!

After all if you live in a sweet store the last thing you want is something you can take anytime?

No amount of orangeness will remove who you really are, so come on ladies, put the fake tan away. Be you?

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