Monthly Archives: January 2013

Out of the Mouthes of Babes – Snow

SC and I have had a fab time with the recent weather – snowball fights, making snow angels and snowman building snow– although in our case (OK mine) this is more snow mound building – my snowman making efforts rate up there with sand castle building, in the fact I am pretty rubbish!

When it did start snowing last Friday, SC turned to me and said, rather excitedly “Mummy, the Weather Fairies have turned the snow tap on and they can’t turn it off again, it’s going to snow for ever!”

I did have to agree, that it did look like those Weather Fairies did indeed need to call a plumber to fix the snow tap, but probably couldn’t find one who wasn’t busy at this time of year 😉

After a week of sliding down the road in the car (no gritters on these roads), thankfully like the Wicked Witch of the West its melting 😉

I’ve a funny feeling though, those Weather Fairies might have a few more problems with their snow taps before Spring arrives!

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What is Appropriate Viewing for Children?

Well in my opinion definitely not the latest Batman, Spiderman or Superman!

I am talking children of pre-school/reception year here, so the under-fives in particular.

Films have classifications for a reason. Even those classed as parental guidance really sometimes should not be shown to very young children.

Television as well has its division, CBeebies and Milkshake for the under sixes and CBBC and CITV as older counterparts. I know that with the 500 million channels out there, there is also Disney Junior, Nick Jnr, etc.

But as parents we have to be responsible for what our children watch.

SC watches CBeebies, occasionally Milkshake (and even then the ads are censored, even these can be inappropriate for the age range)

The reason?

I firmly believe that children are extremely impressionable at this young age. Their imaginations work overtime and everything and anything can be used in play situations.

A firm favourite at the moment is Tree-Fu Tom. This is a harmless animated series about a little boy who has magical powers and does tree-fu (gets the children up doing basic non-violent martial art moves) whilst saving Treetopolis and his friends from some disaster.

However, SC loves the programme so much that he really believes he can do Tree-Fu magic. He went into school and started practising this magic, I hasten to add not touching any other child, just moving his arms around and making swoosh noises, but other children thought that because of the sounds and movement he was doing something menacing like trying to shoot them!

I had to explain to the teacher that (a) he has no idea what a gun is and (b) he doesn’t watch inappropriate television. I know it was all innocent, but how did these other 4 and 5 year olds know about guns and shooting and killing people? Obviously they have seen it somewhere.

After I spoke to SC, we now have a mantra before we go into school each day that he mustn’t do Tree-Fu magic, make noise or move his arms around!

He also doesn’t watch inappropriate films. Disney’s about as far as it goes in this house.

As parents we, no one else, we are responsible for what we let out children watch. Surely, if we think it something is not suitable, they do not watch it. It cares not one iota if little Jimmy in the playground watches it.

I have seen children playing who have been allowed to watch inappropriate television/films. It seems, especially boys, to make them more destructive in their play! I remember a little boy the same age as SC who had watched Spiderman, Batman, all the latest, and then watched as he took a toy and then wreaked havoc as all other children were playing, by violently hitting their toys, knocking down stuff with no care or regard for anyone else.

I know all little boys love action heroes, etc. But if you look at things, the Batman TV series of the sixties was innocent compared to the mindless violence that Hollywood shove down our throats in the latest Batman movie.

And that’s the whole point. Innocence. Life, to some degree was more innocent two or three generations ago. You only have to look at the films, TV series, lyrics to songs and pop stars. There were no (at least very few) children getting pregnant at 11. Cheesy pop the 80s may have had but you can still remember the lyrics to Karma Chameleon I’ll bet? Gyrating pelvises and scantily clad females were not shoved down your throat (for want of a better phrase), films too were gentler.

Is it since the birth of so much advanced technology – 500 million tv channels (and still nothing decent to watch), i-pods, i-phones, internet on demand everywhere and anywhere, computer games, etc that we started heading down the slippery slope of moral decline and loss of innocence?

Next time you go to the cinema, just look at the violence that each and every film has? Is it necessary?

When was the last time you saw a computer game that didn’t involve killing everyone in sight?

Children are children.

Life is tough enough as it is without ramming thoughts of violence, death and destruction into their heads from a young age. Unless we, as parents take responsibility the world is going to keep falling into the downward spiral it seems to be in.

One last thought on how impressionable children can be:

SC was at school, one little boy said that he was going to take another little boy chop him up, put him in a hole and blow him up! This child was 5! Where on earth did he get that sort of idea from if not from watching something wholly inappropriate?

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Snow

The snow begins falling,snow

Softly, gently and without a sound.

Unlike the pitter-patter of rain

as it tumbles to the ground.

It covers the earth in a carpet of purest white,

Creating a magical wonderland.

The earth looks fresh and new,

All the past covered over, forgotten.

When you wake in the morning after a snow fall

the earth has no sound at all.

There is silence all around and a feeling of total peace.

Then the children come out

Dressed up for a day of fun.

Snowball fights

Snowman making

Sledging.

Peals of laughter ring through the air like church bells.

And when the day draws to a close

Beside a roaring fire is my perfect place to be.

Happy, contented and at peace.

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Are men and women the same?

Someone once asked me if I thought men and women were the same.men-women

I said that I thought they were, fundamentally, which they didn’t, and I still stand firm in my opinion.

Despite the obvious physical differences, I still believe in a nutshell that deep-down men, like women, feel the same emotions, have the same needs and want the same things.

After all, we are essentially made from the same genetic material, so why would we differ psychologically, so to speak?

It’s just that somewhere along the lines of human development from caveman to present-day the lines have become somewhat muddled, and men have been programmed to suppress their emotions.

The advancement of feminism has also thrown a spanner in the works. Men now longer know whether or not to try to be chivalrous by opening doors, etc., as they don’t know which camp a woman is in – they will either be met with a thank you, or a torrent of feministic rhetoric about how we can open our own doors, thank you!

The key to fulfilling our emotions, wants and needs whether you are a man or a woman is communication.

Without communication we just end up making assumptions about the other person – for example, how many women reading this have thought that because a man doesn’t call that he isn’t interested in them? Maybe the man is sitting at home unsure whether to call, because he is assuming you are not interested in him?

Men are just as afraid of being rejected as women are.

It’s this reading between the lines, adding 2 and 2 together and coming up with 17 that means we tend to get everything screwed up.

Honest communication is vital in any relationship in life – be it business or pleasure – and sometimes, ladies and gentlemen, we just have to screw “The Rules” and open the door first, take a chance.

What’s the worst that can happen?

We get laughed at, rejected, etc.

But surely that’s not as bad as spending a lifetime wondering … what if?

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Lucky Escape from a Control Freak

PHEW!

Yesterday I had an awakening that I had indeed escaped the clutches of a control freak.

We had the fortnightly state visit by Mr Wrong No. 2, and SC casually mentioned that I had taken him out for lunch on Monday. Nothing unusual in that, it was the day before he went back to school and I tought I’d take him out for a treat.

He had wanted to go to the pub where we had gone to lunch on my dad’s birthday. No problem, phoned up and booked.

When we got there, we bumped into someone from church and also “Boomerang Bay” (aka my first love). (Funny that he was in a pub – drink problem and all that – nothing changes)

Anyway, so SC told Mr Wrong No.2 that we had bumped into ‘Uncle J”.

Immediately, it was “Who’s Uncle J?” – not just a casual question, but a demanding, interrogating intonation.

“WTF!” – apart from the fact that he’s a very old friend of mine (which I blatantly pointed out), it quite frankly has absolutely nothing to do with him whether I have friends that are male.

It’s not like I’m bringing home different men every week – and therefore not being a good role model to my son – unlike him, who has, at the last count bedded over 5 women in front of his other son.

I haven’t had any kind of relationship since I had SC. I’ve been on a couple of dates, but SC has never known about them, and they were certainly not worth mentioning as they never went further than those few dates, and I certainly wouldn’t be that type of single mother who did introduce SC to a different man every time the whim took me.

Now who is the more responsible parent?

And even if I did find someone who did like me enough to take a relationship further, would I have to ask his permission?

I was fuming with that question – not because of any lingering feelings, there are none, but the way it was said.

Quite frankly, no one has the right to dictate who another person can be friends with. It just showed him in his true colours as nothing more than a control freak, who thinks his own opinion is the only one worth listening too.

I thank my lucky stars I escaped!

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When God Created Mothers…

This is a poem I found by Erma Bombeck and American humourist, who wrote a newspaper column depicting suburban home life from the mid-1960s.Renaissance Madonna & Child

This poem is very clever and witty but more to the point very true!

When God Created Mothers

When the Good Lord was creating mothers, He was into His sixth day of “overtime” when the angel appeared and said. “You’re doing a lot of fiddling around on this one.”

And God said, “Have you read the specs on this order?

  • She has to be completely washable, but not plastic.
  • Have 180 moveable parts…all replaceable.
  • Run on black coffee and leftovers.
  • Have a lap that disappears when she stands up.
  • A kiss that can cure anything from a broken leg to a disappointed love affair.
  • And six pairs of hands.”

The angel shook her head slowly and said. “Six pairs of hands…. no way.”

“It’s not the hands that are causing me problems,” God remarked, “it’s the three pairs of eyes that mothers have to have.”

“That’s on the standard model?” asked the angel. God nodded.

“One pair that sees through closed doors when she asks, ‘What are you kids doing in there?’ when she already knows. Another here in the back of her head that sees what she shouldn’t but what she has to know, and of course the ones here in front that can look at a child when he goofs up and say. ‘I understand and I love you’ without so much as uttering a word.”

“God,” said the angel touching his sleeve gently, “Get some rest tomorrow….”

“I can’t,” said God, “I’m so close to creating something so close to myself. Already I have one who heals herself when she is sick…can feed a family of six on one pound of hamburger…and can get a nine year old to stand under a shower.”

The angel circled the model of a mother very slowly. “It’s too soft,” she sighed.

“But tough!” said God excitedly. “You can imagine what this mother can do or endure.”

“Can it think?”

“Not only can it think, but it can reason and compromise,” said the Creator.

Finally, the angel bent over and ran her finger across the cheek.

“There’s a leak,” she pronounced. “I told You that You were trying to put too much into this model.”

“It’s not a leak,” said the Lord, “It’s a tear.”

“What’s it for?”

“It’s for joy, sadness, disappointment, pain, loneliness, and pride.”

You are a genius, ” said the angel.

Somberly, God said, “I didn’t put it there.”

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What are you searching for?

We’re all searching for something – success, wealth, love, fame, happiness, etc.

Some people spend their whole lives searching, but never find what it is they think they truly desire.

But do we all search for the same things?

Or, indeed can we change what we are searching for at different points in our lives?

Or is everything we search for just leading us to the same conclusion.

If we search for success, what is it we want from success?

Is it wealth, recognition, or something else?

If we search for knowledge, what is it we hope to gain by finding knowledge?

Is it success? If so, then this brings us to the same point above.

Is it that ultimately we are searching for happiness – in whatever form we, as individuals, see that happiness.

For some happiness comes in the form of huge bundles of dollar bills. For others it is knowing that other people recognise their talents. And some find happiness in learning.

For all of us, I believe, we search for love, because deep down, we believe that love will make us happy.

But do we need to go searching for happiness? Surely true happiness comes from being at one with ourselves? Comfortable in our own skins, so to speak.

If we are happy in our own minds, then we do not need to go out seeking happiness. What we find when we search for success, love, knowledge, etc, is surely just an extra cherry on top of our already happy, contented lives?

So what are you searching for?

 

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