And this can be applied to many aspects of life, but let’s focus on weight and relationships.
How many of you have been on a diet?
Hands up now, don’t be shy…mine’s up too.
How many of you have reached your target weight and looked fabulous?
Now, how many of you, when you reached your target weight then resumed eating as you did before you dieted?
Come along now, I’m sure there’s a few more hands need to go up!
And didn’t you all find that you ended up back where you were when you first started the diet, plus a few more pounds?
So what do we do?
That’s right, we try another diet plan, because clearly the first one didn’t work?
And so it continues, ad infinitum.
See, the yo-yo effect. And what did we learn? Absolutely nothing, because when we reached the start, i.e., back where we started, we launched into yet another diet.
Stop the yo-yo!
The same thing is true of relationships.
How many of you have been in a relationship, which didn’t last for various reasons, only to ‘give it another go’ and then rediscover why you broke up in the first place?
Because, the same faults, things you didn’t like or clashed on were still there.
A leopard can’t change its spots, so despite all best endeavours, really you will just end up going backwards and forwards like a diet.
Take my first love, Boomerang Boy – we’ve been out many times, and it’s always ended the same, he says that he’s got too much going on in his life (commitment phobe?) to deal with a relationship as well. I never see him for ages, and then out of the blue he reappears in my life, we both still like each other, start going out and the yo-yo effect takes hold. I remember why I loved him – he’s funny, can be a gentleman and has never been unfaithful when we’re together. Then all the bad stuff starts coming out – his immaturity, his drinking problem, etc!
Mr Wrong No. 1 was exactly the same – not that we broke up frequently. I used to bottle up how I was feeling with regards to him treating me, e.g., asked me to move in and I end up living out of a suitcase, does everything he wants to do, etc. I then exploded and explained that a relationship is a two-way street and we need to make an ours. All is fine for a couple of weeks and then, back to exactly as it was before. How I survived 3½ years I still wonder!
But you see that’s the yo-yo effect. We want it to change, but we never learn that it won’t.
So what do we do?
THROW THE YO-YO AWAY!
Forget diets. If you want to lose weight you don’t need to watch points, give up carbohydrates, starve for 2 days out of every 5, etc. You need to eat a balanced healthy diet and most importantly exercise. Yes you can have a slice of cake, but not 6!
And you need to be sure of why you want to lose weight. Is it because the jeans are feeling a bit uncomfortable, or do you think you will be happier thinner?
Trust me, if it’s the latter it won’t work. You can only be happy by being true to yourself and accepting yourself for who and what you are. Be happy being you, because you won’t be happy trying to be someone else’s idea of you.
And if it’s for the former reason, then yes, you are the only person who can lose weight. But a diet involves a permanent lifestyle and mind-set change, not just a temporary one!
As for relationships, sometimes people can change, but it is very rare. So when it’s over, remember the good times, but don’t wear rose-tinted glasses. Remember the bad times and vow never to go back there again!
Never look back!