The walls are beginning to crack and I can see daylight appearing.
It’s a long, tough job, but if it means at the end of the day I am happier and open to whatever possibilities and opportunities come my way that’s only got to be a good thing, hasn’t it?
After forgiving others, I must turn to look at myself.
I am responsible for my happiness, no one else. And if I’m not happy, it’s down to me and the choices I made.
If I’m brutally honest with myself I’ve always painted me as the victim. Oh, I’m not saying that bad things haven’t happened, but rather than learn and grow, I’ve allowed myself to become a victim.
So if something bad happens it’s because I deserved it and I wallow, letting self-pity and self-loathing wash over me, until I end up believing that I am a bad person and don’t deserve happiness like everyone else.
I’m making excuses. I’m allowing myself to be a victim. I’m choosing to be unhappy.
That’s just wrong!
Everyone deserves happiness, even me 😉
I need to throw off the victim cloak.
I can’t change the past. The things that have happened, happened. But I can decide and choose whether or not I want to be happy now and in the future.
But how do I do this?
It’s going to take one major league change of mentality and it’s not going to be done in one big leap. Small steps are probably the best way to go.
Maybe the best way to start on the path to happiness is by looking at life as a child again, something wonderful and new with discoveries to be made and adventures to be had every day.
When did life stop being wonderful and why?