Doubt


“Doubt is a thorn that irritates and hurts; it is a sword that kills.” ~ Buddha

We can doubt anything – others, the world, our selves. We can have that doubt fleetingly for a second or let it eat away until it becomes unhealthy. We cannot survive doubt unless we have faith. I’m not talking about religion, but to overcome the doubt we need to have faith in others, the world and believe in ourselves.

It isn’t easy. I doubt, everything, every day.

I find it very difficult to believe in myself and my abilities. A while ago I was subject to some jealous musings, for want of a better word and I let it get to me. Just as I let the school bullies get to me. It’s taken me 20 odd years to finally crawl back out into the sunlight. I still worry and fret about my abilities, but I have renewed faith and energy and more importantly believe that I can do it. Occasionally I have a blip of doubt, but for that one negative thought about my ability I think of a positive thought to counterbalance it and it makes me feel better.

I find it very difficult to believe others. Call me cynical. But, I’ve been betrayed by too many who have taken advantage of my generous nature that I’ve built up barriers which are very difficult to break down. And the moment I let my defences down I end up getting hurt again. I try to have faith in others, but always at the back of my mind I’m wary that if I give too much away it’ll all end in disaster!

I like to think that the world can be a better place, I don’t like to think that SC and his generation are going to have nothing left of this beautiful planet, after the current generation have blown it all to bits in a quest for ‘peace’, polluted everything with our dependency on air/car travel, heat & light, and destroyed the flora and fauna of our world in a quest for ‘development’. We need to stop and think, before it’s too late!

Everyone has doubts, we just need to work out whether we can overcome them or not!

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