Motorway Madness (Part 1)


Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. We all drive on the motorway and totally forget everything we were taught in the Highway Code.

Obviously, the main thing is speed, we’re all guilty. Isn’t it about time they changed the limit. 70mph was all very well and good when the first motorway was opened in the 1970s (guessing at this), cars were lucky to reach this speed. However, nowadays cars are being built that do greater speeds and 70mph feels very sluggish. In Germany I believe there is no speed limit on the autobahn and they have fewer accidents as a result. Food for thought.

Speed brings me nicely onto my pet peeve – DUMB! Which quite clearly means all you drivers who Drive Up My Backside, and not necessarily in the outside lane either. Traffic flows at a greater speed on the motorway, therefore I need slightly more room than a gnat’s hair breadth between me and the car in front – just in case the car in front is one of those who brakes…..for no particular reason. If you are DUMB you will go into the back of me and be the exact reason why the motorway snarls up and people get hot and bothered sitting in a traffic jam whilst the police clear away the mess because you were DUMB.

Talking of traffic jams and accidents – rubberneckers. WHY? The accident is on the other side of the road, there is already a big queue one way and you cause another long hold up – in some cases longer than the queue on the side of the accident – by slowing down to crane your necks to see what’s going on. Please don’t! Just be thankful it’s not you and stop causing a traffic jam. The French have the right idea, they have something down the central reservation so you can’t see what’s going on, on the other side of the road. Seems a sensible idea to me – besides if you slow down to have a good look you may have a DUMB driver behind you – resulting in???

Middle lane hoggers. Oh you are just sooooo annoying. Sitting there in the middle lane, totally oblivious to everyone else doing 50mph. WHY? The Highway Code clearly states:

“You should always drive in the left-hand lane when the road ahead is clear. If you are overtaking a number of slower-moving vehicles, you should return to the left-hand lane as soon as you are safely past. Slow-moving or speed-restricted vehicles should always remain in the left-hand lane of the carriageway unless overtaking.”

How difficult is that to understand? And you don’t just do this when there is a lot of traffic and you can annoy thousands of motorists. Oh no! For some strange reason you do it when the motorway is totally clear and you are the only car for miles. Why?? And why 50mph, why not go slower and grind the traffic to an even bigger halt? I read someones explanation of why they sat in the middle lane once and they said they did it because “once I’m there I don’t have to think about anything else and can switch off!” DVLA, please remove their licence. Clearly no idea at all. No you cannot switch off in the middle lane. You are on a motorway. You have traffic passing – probably at your speed – on both sides of you. You need your wits about you – lorries pull out, cars swerve in. It’s a veritable jungle of madness out there.

On that note, I need a large drink to calm my nerves. Back for Part 2 soon.

Drive safely.

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