Dear Mr Wrong No. 1
I didn’t think you would turn out to be Mr Wrong. After all, after Boomerang Boy you were a positive grown-up in the relationship stakes.
I did love you.
When you asked me to move in, it felt right. But the rose-tinted spectacles soon turned clear when I was living out of a suitcase and carrier bags, made to feel like a second-class citizen and the hired help.
Despite this, I still loved you.
I am sorry for not leaving sooner.
I should have admitted to myself the relationship was going nowhere long before I jumped ship.
But, being the foolish romantic idiot I am, I thought things would get better and change.
I spent the last 2½ years we were together trying to fool myself and everyone, that everything was great between us. But all I was doing was kidding myself and wasting my life.
Everytime we talked about ‘things’, life did get better for about a fortnight, and then it just slipped back into the same pattern.
Nothing was ever going to change. You were never going to change, I know that now.
Had I stayed, then I would still be living out of that suitcase, wishing and hoping for things to change, and wasting more of my life.
It took everything I had to walk out on you that Wednesday morning. After all that was 4 years of my life I was about to walk away from.
Obviously, the romantic part of me hoped that you would come rushing after me, trying to win me back. But you didn’t.
At the time, I didn’t know whether going was the right thing to do. My mind was full of what ifs and maybes – what if I stay, what if I go, what if I change, what if you change, maybe if we talk, maybe things will change, etc.
I just knew I couldn’t live a lie any more. I knew things would never change.
I finally found the courage to admit to myself that you had fallen out of love with me, not suddenly, but gradually over the preceding 2½ years. Not only that, but I admitted to myself that I didn’t feel the same for you as I once had.
It was hard, and we both cried buckets. But, deep down we knew it was for the best.
I know you are married now with a small child and I hope you have found joy and happiness.
Thank you for some memorable times, which I shall treasure forever.