… is the hardest lesson to learn!
There’s truth in the old saying “if you’re not happy with yourself then you won’t be happy with anyone else”, because if you can’t be happy on your own, what makes you think you’ll be happy with someone?
Sometimes the loneliest place on earth is being in a dead-end relationship – you try to convince yourself, and all around, that everything’s rosy, and you do nothing because you hope it will come right in the end. All the while though you are desperately treading water in a vain attempt to keep afloat, but instead find yourself sinking further and further into yourself, whilst the relationship saps away every last bit of your self-worth, self-belief and life energy.
I know! I’ve been in 2 like it.
Each time it takes longer to grasp back some semblance of self-worth, or sparkle as some people call it.
But does being happy with yourself and by yourself mean that you’ll end up lonely, or indeed as some people say ‘on the shelf’ for eternity?
I would say not. Ever the optimist and looking on the bright side, if you are happy with yourself and by yourself then that surely only enhances a relationship with someone else. Because you’re not needy.
I read once, and believe it’s true, that if you are feeling negative you attract people who have the same type of feelings. For example, as you know when I started going out with father of SC (Mr Wrong No. 2) I had not long been out of the relationship with Mr Wrong No. 1. I was not in a good place emotionally and to be honest neither was he as he was still reeling from his marriage breaking down. So 2 people feeling down, unloved, etc, were attracted to each other when in normal circumstances, i.e., no lack of sparkle on either side, the spark would not even try to ignite! (Believe me!)
Although, I’m on my own, I am in a very happy, secure place in my life. I’m actually happiest on my own, with my own thoughts (although we all know I think way too much, and that does me no good whatsoever), going about my life. Sure I get down, moan, confused, etc., but then who doesn’t when they’ve had bad days, and that’s why I blog to release all my feelings, as I don’t have anyone to talk to.
But the main thing is that I don’t need to have a man in my life in order to be happy. For sure, I would like to be in a normal, happy, loving relationship but I don’t need to be in order to feel fulfilled.
And therein lies the difference. Want is not the same as need!