Being blunt!


… or calling a spade a spade.

Now most of the time, I pretty much say how I feel. But sometimes I hold back and those are really the times in my life when I wished I could have been more blunt and to the point:

‘Stop your pathetic bullying! Just because I am different to you does not mean I should be treated the way you are treating me!’

‘I am proud to be different. I would rather be me than a sheep! At least I know my own mind, I don’t have to follow the herd.’

‘I’m sorry! You said what? That you’d be ashamed to say you’d never had a permanent job? How very dare you! You didn’t seem to object to my alternative career path when it paid for your holidays and weekends away! And you never minded, just expected, me to dip my hand in my pocket all the time!’

‘Were you chatting the Russian bird up over the Internet before I walked out on you?’

‘Seriously, why did you treat me like s**t?’

‘Oh false friend indeed! I have just realised that you have never been a true friend. Only when you wanted something did you feign interest. You’re not a very nice person and to be honest I won’t miss you in my life.’

‘No, I’m not doing fine on my own, thanks for asking though…not!’

‘No, actually. I didn’t get a scholarship over you just because of my dancing and singing! I got it because, funnily enough, I can act as well, and this is first and foremost a drama school… Clearly, you’re not as good as you puff yourself up to be, or you would have got one!’

‘What do you want from me? You can’t just keep me hanging around, it’s not fair! Make your bl***y mind up. If you like me, do something about it, but don’t hedge your bets!’

‘Will you give over your b****y moaning. So you didn’t get the part you wanted. Do you think that maybe, just maybe, the person that did get the part actually might be better than you. There’s no need for all the nastiness. It’s petty, totally uncalled for, it’s making me feel uncomfortable and showing your true colours. Get over yourself!’

‘I’m not perfect. Does that shock you that I am actually aware of my failings? Question is are you aware of yours?’

‘So you really think that SC doesn’t need you until he’s about 8 or 9? God! Your father obviously instilled some good parenting skills in you…not! You go ahead and think that a**hole, crawl back under your rock from whence you came and leave him alone. Because you know what t***head he doesn’t need you, and when you want SC, he’s going to tell you exactly where to go…and hell won’t be far enough!’

‘Why the f*** do you bother coming to visit SC? You spend all morning checking your watch and spend less than 15 minutes actually engaging with him before you sprawl on the floor/sofa ignoring him. It’s all for show, and if it’s just to soothe your guilty conscience, you know where you can stick it!’

‘Mmm, when you asked me to move in with you, I thought you’d at least make room for me. I wasn’t expecting to live out of a suitcase and plastic bags for 3 years! Is that how you treated your last girlfriend? And why the hell did it take me 3 years to come to my senses? You know what Russian bride is welcome to you. Hope she’s just as selfish as you are!’

‘I’m sorry, did I hear you correctly? Did you just say that if I had an independent midwife and I ended up needing to come to hospital (which believe me would only be in an emergency with me drugged up to the eyeballs) what made me think that I was entitled to use the hospital? Mmm, let me think! How about the fact that I pay more than my fair share in tax and national insurance. I didn’t realise that the NHS wasn’t accessible for everyone, I must have misinterpreted its original purpose in my O’Level history course!’

‘Gee! Thanks for all your help and support whilst I was in labour! Not! Seriously, you think p***ing off, falling asleep and keeping silent was really helpful. Most men (and by men I mean nice guys not a**holes like you) are full of encouraging words and actions. W****r!’

‘We’ve been friends for years, but seriously does that give you the right to be so f***ing insulting? You don’t really know me. You see the person on stage and the roles I play, so you have no right to say you pity the man who ends up with me! Who the hell are you to talk? Have you taken a good look at your own marriage recently?’

‘Shock! Horror! My child is no angel! But seriously, do you really think that’s just because I’m a single mother? With all the c*** he’s been dealt at school (not a week has gone by where he hasn’t been kicked, bitten, hit, or generally abused in some shape or form), not once has he retaliated and hit back! I think that actually makes him a better person, and maybe I’ve actually got something right as a mother!’

‘Did I forget to mention that I’m a very impatient person? I don’t wait for long, so don’t make me!’

 

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